Have you died in your past?

I’ve become lost in my films again people! This time it’s Me Before You (stunning book and screenplay written by Jojo Moyes and film directed by Thea Sharrock). Such a beautiful, realism romance story – a real tear-jerker. I really wish I could get lost in this element… can you feel the “but” coming? BUT, I actually learned something quite interesting in such a short space of time. Whether I have fully accepted and processed it is another story, but I want to share the thought with you. I ask you this simple question;

Come and take a walk with me…

The above question was internally posed to me when I had suddenly become drawn to a specific scene of the film. Towards the end, whilst on the beach at night, Louise pours her heart out about how she feels and what the future can hold for herself and William.

Louise sharing her heart with Will

 

 

“Listen, I know this is not how you would have chosen it, but I can make you happy.” – Louise 

 

 

Lou was so happy because she thought she changed Will’s decision to live. It was in this moment when the question began to knock hard on the door of my heart. Will said;

Will telling Louise “no.”

 

“No, no Clark. I get that this could be a good life, but it’s not my life. It’s not even close. You never saw me before. I loved my life. I really loved it…” – Will

 

 

 

No matter how much life had changed for Will; for the better in the last six months, he still wanted to end his life. I want us to remove Will’s story and replace it with our own, our own life. Again, I ask you; “Have you died in your past?”

Will could not face the fact that his life had changed because he died in his old life. After his accident, Will became a different person due to circumstances. He missed the life he used to live and who he used to be in that life. I know I’m not the only person in the world to think “gosh, I miss my past.” We all have our “I miss…” moments. Times when we think about something from our past: a trip or holiday, friends and family where relationships have changed, jobs or career choices, when we made a stupid decision, when we danced or sung, when we had a favourite film or television programme, when we cried in the bathroom, when we got drunk or smoked, when we went clubbing; etc. We’re only human, we miss things from time-to-time, it’s normal. Missing a part of our past is not a problem, but if you have died in that past moment, there is a problem as your present is infected and your future is being affected.

I want you to understand that there is a difference between dying in your past and dying to your past.

1. Dying in your past is when a situation or circumstance has affected you so much that you cannot let go and you died with it. When something similar presents itself, you react the same as you did before or become numb because you never really dealt with it. It means you died in the past and are not; or struggling, to live in the present. You haven’t let go.
2. Dying to your past is accepting that a situation or circumstance changed you, but when it presents itself in the present, you respond differently because you accepted and began, or did deal with it. It means you are or have moved on.

For Will, it was a motorbike accident leaving him disabled from the neck down with other health problems, that caused him to not see a better future outside of his past. He just couldn’t see anymore, no matter how good his present had become and great his future really was. I ask you another question; “What was your accident?”

What crippled you? (metaphorically speaking). What is it that has left you dying? What was the situation, circumstance or person that left you dead? What past moment can you not see beyond? This could be mentally, spiritually, physically or emotionally. We are all individuals and our accidents will be different to each of us. Rhetorical questions are always the most uncomfortable because if you let yourself speak to yourself, you find out what is really inside of you, what you really believe and think.

Thinking of your own story, do not be afraid to find life again in your present. Your future can be great if you will die to your past and not die in your past. Miss the memories and don’t die in them. If you have, I’m here to let you know that there is a different way. You can live again! It might be hard but there is always hope. Ask yourself the rhetorical questions above and ultimately answer the title of this blog post. Find good, wise counsel in people. Seek good advice and find life again. Take baby steps that build heart again, encourage you to see and live again. IT IS POSSIBLE!

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Even though Will chose not to live, in the last six months of his life he actually lived in the present moment. He changed Lou’s future even though he couldn’t change his own. The film shows that you can live if you will just go through the process of being changed, coming out of your past and seeing life; not death, in your future NO MATTER what the circumstances or situations.

Be free from your past, awake in your present and alive for your future. 

 

 

 

Come Correct

Like any well oiled machine, we all need maintaining. Regardless of age, religion, culture or race, we seem to have a common issue; CORRECTION.

We live in a society where rebellion, disobedience and lawlessness lives. We don’t always listen, we don’t always follow instruction, we feel we have to have an answer for everything. We don’t like being told what to do, and even shun people who put us on the right path because of this little thing called correction.

Correct means: to set or make true, accurate, or right; remove the errors or faults from, to point out or mark the errors in, to scold, rebuke, or punish in order to improve.

Correction disciplines us (training to act in accordance with rules).

Correction is quite the taboo subject these days. If we are truly honest with ourselves we secretly hate being wrong. That little monster on the inside of us can raise up at the first sign of thinking we know better when we may actually not. That little ounce of pride oozes inside us, which either causes us to run from the truth or take it in order to grow from it.

Correction has two routes in your life dependant upon your attitude (how you think). It will either be your friend and mature you, or you will make it your enemy and eventually self destruct.

A short while back I wrote a post called An Untouchable Nature. It was about having an unbreakable nature, for better or worse.

Correction is the rod that breaks an untouchable nature. Correction re-shapes what can be touched, which is why you must have a teachable spirit/ nature.

You must allow yourself to become pliable. Not only to have the ability to learn or re-learn but to also be able to sustain it, THIS is the growing agent needed for correction to continue throughout your life. You have to be open to being teachable (capable of being instructed).

Responsibility and accountability must be your allies.

Whatever you correct must first be dealt with within yourself.

Matthew 7:3-5: Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

It is so easy to point out another mans fault but the true challenge is to point out your own. I do not mean in terms of self esteem, but in terms of truth.

A man (universal context) will never hear you or take heed of correction from you if he sees the behaviour of that same seed which you are correcting him with, on the inside of you.

You cannot correct what is not corrected inside of yourself first.

Mark 4:24 and Luke 8:18 speak of WATCHING HOW YOU HEAR. If you hear correction and do not take it, you have not heard it but you have listened to it. There is a difference between hearing (to learn by the ear or being told by) and listening (give attention with the ear).

Just because you have heard someone say something it does not mean that you have taken it on board. The difference is the decision we personally make on whether we act or not upon that which we have just heard.

You have to hear what is being said, as to whether you agree or not in truth rather than emotion. This is why you must be teachable as you have to be able to hear what is being said, weigh it up as to whether there is truth in it or not, and then act accordingly mentally, spiritually and physically.

Romans 12:2- And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

We must change the way we think about correction. To be put right, regardless of how we feel, is actually a good thing. It is better to be blessed for having a good character that has been forged by correction in life, than a character that stinks of pride and rebellion.

Why let pride have its perfect way in you? To be wise (having the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right; possessing discernment, judgment, or discretion) is far better than a wounded ego.

We are familiar with the phrase YOLO (you only live once). So why not hear, take on board and make positive changes in a world that needs it.

Proverbs 1: 1-7- To know wisdom and instruction, To discern the sayings of understanding, To receive instruction in wise behaviour, Righteousness, justice and equity; To give prudence to the naive, To the youth knowledge and discretion, A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, To understand a proverb and a figure, The words of the wise and their riddles. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Correction makes a person wise because they learn from situations and circumstances.

Hebrews 12:6 and Revelation 3:19 speak of God correcting those he loves. Why should we on earth be any different?

Don’t be afraid or deluded by not wanting to be corrected. You will be gifted by it in the end.

Sometimes Only Beauty Can Talk To Your Beast

Disney characters are not my usual choice of subject matter but I must admit that my mind has presently become enchanted by the story of ‘Beauty and the Beast‘.

A witch places a curse upon a handsome Prince turning him into a beast because of the horror of his character. An old man is held captive by the beast due to an accident and his daughter Belle goes on a rescue mission to get her father back but falls into a much bigger adventure; falling in love and releasing the Beast from his curse.

This tale has a happy ending but life does not always grant us such a wish. Although this story is make-believe, it also mirrors human reality.  We are allured into a display of unconditional love. The fierce awakened heart of Belle vs the dead heart of the Beast.

Belle’s beauty not only entices the natural eye but is also within. Beauty is defined in the dictionary as;

The quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, colour, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

It is a personality and character trait, not just an external mark. Belle’s internal beauty not only accepts but unrestrictedly loves. The bravery of her heart pours out love and life to the Beast who is cold and uninviting in nature.

What I love about both characters other than their vast differences is their need for each other. Life must meet with death.

Life can cause us to become like the Beast; ugly. Part of our nature, our character turns wild in order to cope with how we have handled life. We can become cold on the inside whilst operating as normal in society. Externally we have it all going on but internally we are or have died.

We can bring the term ‘living dead’ to life, physically alive but internally sleeping.  The Beast was as fine as can be. He operated in all his powers and duties as Prince but a part of him was quite dead on the inside.

The thought came to me recently that we all need beauty in our lives. Pure and true love brings forth a deeper beauty that outshines its external counterpart. The kind of love that melts hearts and is not destructive or lustful. Belle’s warm heart and loving nature freed an enslaved Prince from his cruel and selfish nature. We all need a nature in life that causes us to become better.

This can be seen in the relationship of Phoebe and Cole in the TV series Charmed. Cole is a half human/ half demon (Belthazor) sent to kill Phoebe and her sisters who are witches. Cole falls in love with Phoebe and it is this love that not only saves Phoebe and her sisters but also Cole. The beauty of love from Phoebe takes over and helps the beast inside Cole.

 

Again this happens  in the film Dracula: Untold. In order to protect his kingdom Prince Vlad becomes a monster (vampire). When the beast inside of him becomes stronger it is his wife who calms the beast through love by reminding him of who he really is.

These examples show beauty and love through the vessel of a woman but I want us to look beyond gender and see that the real beauty is expressed through their internal nature. This beauty within them and a ‘knowing’ of who they are paves way for unconditional love, continuous persistence and strength to accept those they love. Out of this strength a hope and grace is released which empowers them to walk alongside a beast nature until the original nature comes back.

Sometimes it is hard to talk to a beast but love can break through. On our good and bad days we can all become like the Hulk. Kind words, encouragement, wise counsel and advice; anything that awakens us inside is important. Not a quick fix pill but a character and nature that transforms us into who we really are.

The beast transformed back into the Prince but had changed his nature. Cole eventually lost Phoebe due to his dark side and lived in regret, never losing or forgetting his love for her. A battle caused Prince Vlad to lose his wife and he became a monster for eternity.

We always have a choice in the matter of who we become. We cannot control life circumstances or guarantee our endings but we can choose who we are. We must allow beauty to transform us when presented with it in its true form, accept true love. Finding this is a process but your journey with true beauty and love must begin.

 

 

Internally Shutter-boxed

Man can sometimes mirror machine. Not only has he the ability to function all day and night; sub-sectioning a vast intake whilst constantly re-charging but he also has the capacity to ‘break down’. Human nature has a way of dismissing that which it does not wish to face. Anything that causes internal conflict or outer uncomfortability can cause us to run like prey as if it were conscious of its predator.

Our life is the arena and we are the centre stage of it. All activity concerning us is present in the centre whilst spectators have their active or passive input. Our mind, will and emotions (soul), heart, spirit and physical being are all part of this centre which is affected by the activities of everyday life.

Situations and circumstances (activities of life) trailed alongside their outcomes form us as a people. Their affects shape and help build us into the people who we become and are today. These outcomes can have vibrant or fatal affects on us. We manifest the outcomes our situations and circumstances internally have on us. How we handle the outcomes begin to flow from us. They manifest behaviours and attitudes.

Our arenas; education, religion, work, economy and finance, politics, relationships- love/ family/ friends, culture and other avenues become infected . The exterior gives insight into the interior. How we handle decisions and choices, confusion, beliefs and doubts, unmet desires, frustrations and anger, discouragement, violence and abuse, etc is key to our internal selves.

At any given time or age these impacts on our heart, soul and physical selves still make us prone to the ability to shut ‘ones-self’ down. Today’s society is no better than the ancestors that have lived  before us and those yet to be birthed in a distant future. Even Adam and Eve hid once they had disobeyed God’s instructions (Genesis 3). Life and its hand dealings still have their impact on us.

The problem occurs when we internalise the problems by not handling them well or maybe not at all. We section off the parts we do not want to face. They become little stacker boxes or locked up crates with keys that can only be found in a treasure hunt. Some shut whilst others open. Internally we can hide in every corner or dark valley available to us that allows us to find shade rather than the light we need. We become masters of masquerading rather than transparent beings.

When we begin to shut down internally rather than be honest and face our Goliath’s (giants or mountains) we have a major problem. Not only will we become distant from our real selves but we begin to die inside.

Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee” (King James Version).

Regardless of religion or culture the above scriptural principle applies. Whatever you think you are, you become. The only way of outgrowing what we become is in changing our thoughts and emotions through our decisions from the impacts of life. We become better or worse people based on the internal attitude and what we have been told of who we are and who we internally choose to be, leading to our external manifested self.

Life is different for every person, some worse than others but all still damaging in a way to that particular individual, which I think we all can agree on. The best advice is that regardless of what has happened, seek help. Whether it be through religion or counsel; never internally shut down or get addicted to something that will numb the pain of an internal bleed. Do not internally box yourself up into compartments and write on them the wounds of what happened. Dealing with every box is beneficial, hard but beneficial to you being ALIVE internally.

We think that because everything looks ok on the outside that all is fine but if the inside of a man is not living then he is walking dead.

Proverbs 4:23 reading from the New Living Translation version of the Bible reads “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life”.

Your heart is central to who you are. When you stop living from it you begin to feel its affects. Life throws some wicked curve balls at us but we can choose to face them and their percussions or internally shutter box; functioning with the lights off. Find a way to not shut down internally but face who you are becoming or have become internally.

 

 

Are You On Your Merry-go-round?

Image courtesy of: http://cuboidal.org/photos/2005/08/london/IMG_7270

You are at a travelling carnival and are about to take a ride on the merry-go-round. One of the most syked about rides; for all ages and it is not gender specific. It is for everyone and a happy fun ride. You can literally go on the ride over and over again; the same experience repeated with absolutely no change but each time feels different. The truth is that it is the same ride, going around in the same circle, in exactly the same spot. The only thing that changes is your emotions. However at some point the carnival must close for the night. You have to get off the merry-go-round and the owner shuts down the ride.

Life can sometimes be like that merry-go-round. You think you are moving when in reality you are jogging on the spot. The outside looks and sounds amazing but the internal nature has not changed, it only looks like it has moved. You fool everyone into thinking that all is well; your speech and learned habitual behaviour puts on a good show but eventually there is a leak. A leak when not fixed infiltrates other areas which also leak and before you know it there is no longer anything left standing because the necessary repairs were not made to the original leak.

What do you do when the performance is over? What do you do when the lights on your merry-go-round go off? 

Do you get off? Do you run? Do you hide? Do you keep putting the same mask on? Do you even switch back on the light or create another show? What do you do? Really think about it. Really look into yourself and ask yourself what you do.

It is so easy to go through life on a merry-go-round and sometimes we can not even be aware of the fact that we never got off the merry-go-round. Emotions, self will, our mind, decisions and situations, even people, society and culture place us into deception and tell us that we got off but our nature inside of us has not changed because really we are still on the merry-go-round.

It is a challenge to live. Living is not easy especially when you want to live right. Life becomes a chore to so many people because situations and circumstances dictate whether they truly live life or are living dead. The problem is if we do not choose to wake up on the merry-go-round and get off, eventually it will break down. Referring to the ride, the paint will start to ware off, the mechanics of the ride itself will begin to seize up and malfunction; basically the ride will not work properly if not maintained accurately.  The same can be said for a human; if they are not looked after properly and do not get what they need in order to live and be healthy then they will die.

So again I ask; What do you do when the performance is over? What do you do when the lights on your merry-go-round go off? 

This is even something I myself am having to look at in my own life. Merry-go-rounds are very comfortable. They are easy to get on but getting off is a challenge; a daily active decision to get up and move because if you do not then your show will go on. Your life will be wasted because of choosing the show over choosing your life.

This thought came to me and now I am sharing it with you. Take a look at if you are on a merry-go-round or not and if you are then charge yourself with getting off. Do not live in your performance because your performance may not be who you really are or even worse, just not real.

The ABORT Button

I have been heavily thinking about the word ‘abort’ recently- simply meaning to cut something short; not let it run its complete course for some reason. Life is filled with many challenges and circumstances, whether this be just thrown at us by life or because of our own decisions, behaviours or choices. We all face and handle them differently, some better than others but either way we all have an end outcome. This is where the word ‘abort’ comes into place; we can sometimes face challenges, circumstances or situations which cause us to mentally and emotionally; then following these through physically by aborting the situation. In other words we give up, not getting to the end of the circumstance. I am not saying that we all do this but what I am saying is that it does happen… we give up and do not see things through to the end.

A great example of this happening is Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars. I am a fan of the Star Wars movies because they are very good at expressing an empathetic reality of the world I live in today and that I can personally relate to. Let me show you what I mean by looking into Anakin’s character from Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.

Anakin was a promise, he was the ‘chosen’ one to bring about a stronger, better future. He was to be trained to beat the dark side once and for all. Others had their reservations but it was written, destined that Anakin was the answer they were looking for. Without giving away the storyline too much, especially for those who have not seen it, Anakin hits a challenge face on. Challenges come in different forms to everyone, they are presented to people differently but Anakins’ came in a personal form shown to him in a dream, or what he would class in today’s society as a nightmare.

Suddenly this chosen one, this destined Jedi that would change everything for the better found himself in a situation where his decisions and actions changed everything, especially his written future. Anakin’s emotions came into play due to his situation and like most of us his emotions ran high and got the best of him. Anakin re-wrote his own history and destiny but due to his circumstance and emotions taking over, he pressed the abort button on his life and its due course.

For those who have seen this particular Star Wars film (III) then you know the ending, with relation to my blog Anakin aborted his mission and destiny due to his challenge, situation… he aborted his future. Some of you may say that Anakin’s original destiny was not meant to be because it changed and that everything happens for a reason, but I think that it is safe to say that his abort happened as what he became due to circumstance, desire and emotion was NOT what he was destined to be.

We have all been or are yet to be in Anakin’s shoes. When times get tough we either roll with it or run; pretty much ‘survival of the fittest‘ and ‘fight or flight’ theories coined by Charles Darwin and Herbert Spencer. We either face things head on or not at all. No one is perfect but sometimes it can be easier to abort something rather than ride out the situation until the end. Everyone’s situations are different and are handled differently as we all face different things. There is no right or wrong way but we must use wisdom, courage and strength when facing circumstances in order to get a better and more fruitful result.

Galations 6:9

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. (ESV)

Ephesians 6:10-12

And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. (MSG Version).

Philippians 3

Whether you read the Bible or not these principles are relatable. When we do good and do not see its fruits we can often get encouraged to stop doing good… aborting the mission of doing good because the situation or circumstance has not shown any good fruit. Whether you believe in Satan or not we  understand that we must generally in life be able to stand against anything that it throws at us. This could be by protecting our families, looking to good fruitful friendships or relationships in general, building finances in our savings accounts for future investment and many other things but we understand to protect ourselves against things which we can forsee. In the last scripture we can again relate to keeping ourselves on the right track in life, staying focussed on goals, having a discernment or that incline of the right, wrong or fakes in life amongst other things. Do not just think that because you do not know Jesus that Biblical truths can not apply to you or that you can not relate to them. They do and will help.

So what is my point? My point is that be very careful when facing a situation that you do not abort it too soon. All that is needed is permission. Take these examples for example;

Matthew 4:1-11

Next Jesus was taken into the wild by the Spirit for the Test. The Devil was ready to give it. Jesus prepared for the Test by fasting forty days and forty nights. That left him, of course, in a state of extreme hunger, which the Devil took advantage of in the first test: “Since you are God’s Son, speak the word that will turn these stones into loaves of bread.”Jesus answered by quoting Deuteronomy: “It takes more than bread to stay alive. It takes a steady stream of words from God’s mouth.” For the second test the Devil took him to the Holy City. He sat him on top of the Temple and said, “Since you are God’s Son, jump.” The Devil goaded him by quoting Psalm 91: “He has placed you in the care of angels. They will catch you so that you won’t so much as stub your toe on a stone.” Jesus countered with another citation from Deuteronomy: “Don’t you dare test the Lord your God.” For the third test, the Devil took him to the peak of a huge mountain. He gestured expansively, pointing out all the earth’s kingdoms, how glorious they all were. Then he said, “They’re yours—lock, stock, and barrel. Just go down on your knees and worship me, and they’re yours.” Jesus’ refusal was curt: “Beat it, Satan!” He backed his rebuke with a third quotation from Deuteronomy: “Worship the Lord your God, and only him. Serve him with absolute single-heartedness.” The Test was over. The Devil left. And in his place, angels! Angels came and took care of Jesus’ needs. (MSG Version).

Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness… all he needed was Jesus’ permission and for him to give in, give up rather than resist the temptation until the end.

Another great example is Zeus in Clash of the Titans. Hades wanted revenge and hid this motive under the camouflage of suggesting to Zeus that the Kracken be released so the humans would start worshipping the gods again. Zeus’s response even though wise counsel said do not do as Hades suggested was (watch the below video clip);

Both Satan and Hades used the same methods; temptation through suggestion by playing at the hearts of Jesus and Zeus through what they needed due to the present situation they were in. See how easy it is? Jesus did not give in and rode out the battle until the end result. Zeus on the other hand pressed the abort button.

Do you see how easy it is to press the abort button? Consequences of the abort button can be fatal. They not only change you but the whole world around you. If you have pressed the abort button on things in your life, I encourage you to look back and see if it was the right decision and if not then try and find a way of making an amends. Learn from Jesus; not from Zeus or Anakin.