Living Out of the Past

For quite a while now I have had this image of a large, square shaped, medium-brown shaded suitcase on a bed. Inside the suitcase are neatly folded clothes which are being taken out by someone. What came to me with this image were the words, ‘living out of the past’.

The clothes in the suitcase simply represented our issues, situations, and circumstances from the past, the suitcase represented our future, and the process of closing the case and carrying it to our destination represented our present.

With this image in mind, I simply have one question for you: What are you carrying in your present from your past that you shouldn’t be?

Sometimes our past (gone by, elapsed in time, having existed in or having occurred during a time previous to the present,) can hinder (to cause delay, interruption, difficulty in) our future. It is important that we go back and deal with our past, and deal with it well, as we cannot afford to take it into our future.

In order to deal with your past you have to understand and know what exactly you are doing. You have to be able to see it and accept it for what it is. Don’t hide from it, but face it. For Christians, this is walking with the Holy Spirit (Spirit of God) and asking Him to help you deal with your past; He is your helper (John 16:7, John 14:26). Otherwise, you might seek out wise counsel; the right counsel, and speak to those who can truly help and show you the right way. Those that can point you in the right direction. The past isn’t something you just hack into with no wisdom. You must be wise and strong.

Professor X helped Wolverine deal with his past

However, what stood out to me the most about the suitcase was the neatly folded clothes. Sometimes our past; our experiences, can be so damaging that rather than dealing with them, we neatly box them (hold onto them and everything associated with them) and carry them in our present; ultimately into our futures. We choose to keep the baggage rather than let it go.

Can you image what it is like to put these clothes (our past) back on?

Can you imagine wearing your past constantly?

What does this look like for you?

We choose to love the pain rather than drain it from our systems. Sometimes it is easier to live with it than deal with it, BUT this isn’t the way forward to living in life. Holding onto the past can be very dangerous. Over a large life-span, rather than living for the future, you are dying for the past.

Make the decision to deal with your past today. Whether it be journalling your emotions, praying, seeking wise counsel from another; begin the process. As hard as it can be, don’t die to your future because of your past. Find the courage to look back and NEVER stay there. Learn from it; never continually grieve (distress mentally, sorrow) in it. Don’t put your past back on.

With What Measure Do You Judge?

Interesting question isn’t it? You’re probably wondering where I am going with this, and I can surely say it’s not the route of judgment you may initially think of… it’s simply a question of perspective.

The word judge means ‘a person who decides the results of a competition, a person able or qualified to give an opinion on something, or to form an opinion or conclusion about’. At some point in our lives we all become a judge, whether this be of a person, situation or circumstance; etc, we all form an opinion (a view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge) about something or someone. However, what I want to pose to you today is whether you judge based upon truth or subjectivity?

If something is true then it is ‘real or in accordance with fact or reality‘. Whereas, to be subjective is to be ‘based on or influenced by personal feelings, tastes, or opinions; or, dependent on the mind or on an individual’s perception of its existence’. When applied to judging things, this can mean that your truth and opinion can become opposites of one another if not aligned together accurately. When you ponder this for a moment; let it really sink in, it can actually be quite dangerous.

What does this have to do with perspective? Well, how you see (physically, spiritually and mentally discern; assess, find out, recognise) can change your measure of judgment. We usually define the word measure in terms of mathematics by giving a size, amount or degree to something. This is correct, but now I want you to apply this to everything and everyone you judge… again, things become interesting.

Give it a try… think of something or someone and apply what I just said above. What are your thoughts now saying? What is your heart pouring out? What are the emotions suggesting? Has the importance, effect, or value of that thing or someone changed? Have you made a comparison, and if so is this true or subjective? What did you measure that thing or person by? Have you assessed and concluded this for yourself, or are you dependent upon a past experience, emotion, or view and speech of another? Things have changed right?

This is not meant to condemn (guilty, punishment, sentence, disapprove) you, but IT IS meant to challenge you. We have to make sure we base our judgments upon truth and not subjectivity. Sometimes our opinions or what we have heard from others can be warped, partial, deceived, or even wrong. We need to measure for ourselves, and make sure it is based upon truth.

Then He said to them, “Pay attention to what you hear. By your own standard of measurement [that is, to the extent that you study spiritual truth and apply godly wisdom] it will be measured to you [and you will be given even greater ability to respond]—and more will be given to you besides.

Mark 4:24 (The Amplified version).

As a Christian, the Word of God (the Bible) is our measuring stick (2Peter 1:3, 2Timothy 3:16-17, Acts 17:11). We are taught to test things (1John 4:1, Ephesians 4:14), and study (2Timothy 2:15), so this should be what we use to measure and judge by. The problem can be in our perspective.

As humans; oftentimes, we are given or shown something and we have our own vision, thoughts, and opinions of how it should be or look like. In Isaiah 55:8, the Lord says that his thoughts and ways are not ours. This is why we must measure by truth and not subjectivity. In my pastor’s (Pastor Michael DaCosta) message titled ‘Preparing For The Harvest’ he said something very key when put into context of this blog post.

‘It’s a sad thing when we destroy our own harvest by our own actions. – Michael DaCosta’

If our judgment is not based on truth, then we can be at risk of destroying what is ours. We need to ask God to clean our hearts, and renew our spirits and minds (Psalm 51:10, Romans 12:2, Ephesians 4:23). We need to stop, think, and pray before responding.

Even if you do not believe, follow God, or follow another religion; etc, you must be able to see the principle at hand here? If we do not see correctly, then how can we be sure that what we are doing and how we are doing it is correct? We must know that we must build and establish something on truth and not myth, gossip, or rumour.

I pledge you to think about how you measure your judgments – truth or subjectivity? Again, this is not a condemning post, it is a thought-provoking ‘change your mind‘ message that is purposed to change your life; becoming better.

Come Correct

Like any well oiled machine, we all need maintaining. Regardless of age, religion, culture or race, we seem to have a common issue; CORRECTION.

We live in a society where rebellion, disobedience and lawlessness lives. We don’t always listen, we don’t always follow instruction, we feel we have to have an answer for everything. We don’t like being told what to do, and even shun people who put us on the right path because of this little thing called correction.

Correct means: to set or make true, accurate, or right; remove the errors or faults from, to point out or mark the errors in, to scold, rebuke, or punish in order to improve.

Correction disciplines us (training to act in accordance with rules).

Correction is quite the taboo subject these days. If we are truly honest with ourselves we secretly hate being wrong. That little monster on the inside of us can raise up at the first sign of thinking we know better when we may actually not. That little ounce of pride oozes inside us, which either causes us to run from the truth or take it in order to grow from it.

Correction has two routes in your life dependant upon your attitude (how you think). It will either be your friend and mature you, or you will make it your enemy and eventually self destruct.

A short while back I wrote a post called An Untouchable Nature. It was about having an unbreakable nature, for better or worse.

Correction is the rod that breaks an untouchable nature. Correction re-shapes what can be touched, which is why you must have a teachable spirit/ nature.

You must allow yourself to become pliable. Not only to have the ability to learn or re-learn but to also be able to sustain it, THIS is the growing agent needed for correction to continue throughout your life. You have to be open to being teachable (capable of being instructed).

Responsibility and accountability must be your allies.

Whatever you correct must first be dealt with within yourself.

Matthew 7:3-5: Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

It is so easy to point out another mans fault but the true challenge is to point out your own. I do not mean in terms of self esteem, but in terms of truth.

A man (universal context) will never hear you or take heed of correction from you if he sees the behaviour of that same seed which you are correcting him with, on the inside of you.

You cannot correct what is not corrected inside of yourself first.

Mark 4:24 and Luke 8:18 speak of WATCHING HOW YOU HEAR. If you hear correction and do not take it, you have not heard it but you have listened to it. There is a difference between hearing (to learn by the ear or being told by) and listening (give attention with the ear).

Just because you have heard someone say something it does not mean that you have taken it on board. The difference is the decision we personally make on whether we act or not upon that which we have just heard.

You have to hear what is being said, as to whether you agree or not in truth rather than emotion. This is why you must be teachable as you have to be able to hear what is being said, weigh it up as to whether there is truth in it or not, and then act accordingly mentally, spiritually and physically.

Romans 12:2- And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

We must change the way we think about correction. To be put right, regardless of how we feel, is actually a good thing. It is better to be blessed for having a good character that has been forged by correction in life, than a character that stinks of pride and rebellion.

Why let pride have its perfect way in you? To be wise (having the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right; possessing discernment, judgment, or discretion) is far better than a wounded ego.

We are familiar with the phrase YOLO (you only live once). So why not hear, take on board and make positive changes in a world that needs it.

Proverbs 1: 1-7- To know wisdom and instruction, To discern the sayings of understanding, To receive instruction in wise behaviour, Righteousness, justice and equity; To give prudence to the naive, To the youth knowledge and discretion, A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, To understand a proverb and a figure, The words of the wise and their riddles. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Correction makes a person wise because they learn from situations and circumstances.

Hebrews 12:6 and Revelation 3:19 speak of God correcting those he loves. Why should we on earth be any different?

Don’t be afraid or deluded by not wanting to be corrected. You will be gifted by it in the end.

What Is LIVING In Your Head?

Your mind is a vast specimen and an approved force to be reckoned with however in an unwholesome stage it can be your worst nightmare. Take a few minutes to watch the below clip from the series Criminal Minds (season 10 episode 11– The Forever People).

The above clip is solely my driven purpose for this blog post as I am not here to talk about this episode in its entirety.

Jennifer Jareau, known as JJ suffered traumatic and unforeseen abuse at the hands of her ex- overseas colleague, Tivon Askari, whilst working a case. JJ again became a victim of those which her and the team imprison. She suffered not only mental but also physical torture which triggered the loss of her unborn child; forever leaving her scarred.

After the death of Tivon, one year later she is forced to face the anniversary of the event. Every thought and emotion made its presence known and began to manifest like water given to plants. Just like the rest of humanity JJ is no exception to the constant battle of the mind. Even after one year JJ was under the assumption that she had dealt with the situation, which to us in our terms means “I thought I was over it?”.

For one whole year JJ functioned in her ability as a mum, wife and BAU agent. Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually she had dealt with very little concerning what had happened. We know this as the above clip speaks of JJ’s unconscious mind.

JJ’s dialogue makes for interesting discussion. Her behaviour started speaking which showed a change in her character. Something has shifted in JJ. Her speech, confidence and actions exhibited her non-verbal dialogue. The real conversation was between JJ and her unconscious mind, that which was internally speaking to her.

Tivon Askari

Your unconscious mind is very much alive. We go through different situations and circumstances of which we most times have no control over. The deciding factor of rising above or sinking beneath are the decisions we internally make which determine our actions. The only problem is that we forget to CHECK our unconscious mind.

By definition alone the word unconscious means without awareness, cognition or sensation. The processes in the mind that take place automatically and not given a reflection period. Our thought processes, memories, motivations, etc. The unconscious and its processes exist under the surface and impact our behaviour. Academic research studies have suggested that the unconscious includes repressed feelings, automatic skills, subliminal perceptions, thoughts, habits, automatic reactions and possibly hidden phobias and desires. Some processes expressed in dreams, slips of the tongue and jokes.

Dealing with that which is under the surface is a very important part of growing as a person. When a part of you is revealed and this is enlightened unto you, you have a responsibility and an accountability to do something about it. However as the unconscious deals with under the surface, it HAS to be revealed. Sometimes people are used to show us what we are really made of then at other times we can see our own reflections based upon how we respond to that which happens to us. Yes there is always help but we also have a part to play. JJ’s response was to function at home and work but what she really needed to do was face the monster in her unconscious mind.

Dr Reid addressing JJ’s behaviour

Rather than looking under our skin we can sometimes become efficient. Using what we have in order to just pass by in life rather than sacrificing ourselves to the fullest in order to be all we can be. We hide in the functioning of everyday life when in reality we are unaware of the damage we are doing to ourselves because we are not dealing with what we are really thinking, feeling and going through which is internally taking its toll. Regardless of how much we divorce ourselves from reality we  will never deal with what is under our surface until we face it for ourselves. We all have our own individual ways of dealing with things but what is really living in our minds? What is your unconscious mind saying to you?

The mental processing taking place in our mind is what needs to be daily re-evaluated and challenged. Whether this be our religious belief systems, our dealings with people, how we talk or act towards ourselves and others, our values, our jobs, our personal confidence and self esteem, our relationships with our neighbours, family and friends; the list goes on. We really need to check all our repressed feelings, automatic skills, subliminal perceptions, thoughts, habits, automatic reactions, hidden phobias and desires. We need to see what is going on inside of us. Even the Bible tells us to examine ourselves (1Corinthians 11:28) and look at yourself to change you before being quick to judge others (Matthew 7:5).

My proposal to you today and even unto myself is for us conduct an individual check-up on ourselves; our hearts, feelings and MIND. Yes there is more to our minds than the unconscious but we need to see what is living in it as it is that which has the potential to make or break us. Whether you turn to people for wise counsel or prayer, something needs to be done with the living elements in our minds. Do not be ignorant, deceived or not willing to deal with yourself.

Let’s find and take this journey. There will be times when we really do not like, want to see or even believe what is really underneath but I can assure you that taking and sticking with the best process is a lifetime commitment and will be beneficial. We are merely responding to what can be a great time of change and transformation.