Have you died in your past?

I’ve become lost in my films again people! This time it’s Me Before You (stunning book and screenplay written by Jojo Moyes and film directed by Thea Sharrock). Such a beautiful, realism romance story – a real tear-jerker. I really wish I could get lost in this element… can you feel the “but” coming? BUT, I actually learned something quite interesting in such a short space of time. Whether I have fully accepted and processed it is another story, but I want to share the thought with you. I ask you this simple question;

Come and take a walk with me…

The above question was internally posed to me when I had suddenly become drawn to a specific scene of the film. Towards the end, whilst on the beach at night, Louise pours her heart out about how she feels and what the future can hold for herself and William.

Louise sharing her heart with Will

 

 

“Listen, I know this is not how you would have chosen it, but I can make you happy.” – Louise 

 

 

Lou was so happy because she thought she changed Will’s decision to live. It was in this moment when the question began to knock hard on the door of my heart. Will said;

Will telling Louise “no.”

 

“No, no Clark. I get that this could be a good life, but it’s not my life. It’s not even close. You never saw me before. I loved my life. I really loved it…” – Will

 

 

 

No matter how much life had changed for Will; for the better in the last six months, he still wanted to end his life. I want us to remove Will’s story and replace it with our own, our own life. Again, I ask you; “Have you died in your past?”

Will could not face the fact that his life had changed because he died in his old life. After his accident, Will became a different person due to circumstances. He missed the life he used to live and who he used to be in that life. I know I’m not the only person in the world to think “gosh, I miss my past.” We all have our “I miss…” moments. Times when we think about something from our past: a trip or holiday, friends and family where relationships have changed, jobs or career choices, when we made a stupid decision, when we danced or sung, when we had a favourite film or television programme, when we cried in the bathroom, when we got drunk or smoked, when we went clubbing; etc. We’re only human, we miss things from time-to-time, it’s normal. Missing a part of our past is not a problem, but if you have died in that past moment, there is a problem as your present is infected and your future is being affected.

I want you to understand that there is a difference between dying in your past and dying to your past.

1. Dying in your past is when a situation or circumstance has affected you so much that you cannot let go and you died with it. When something similar presents itself, you react the same as you did before or become numb because you never really dealt with it. It means you died in the past and are not; or struggling, to live in the present. You haven’t let go.
2. Dying to your past is accepting that a situation or circumstance changed you, but when it presents itself in the present, you respond differently because you accepted and began, or did deal with it. It means you are or have moved on.

For Will, it was a motorbike accident leaving him disabled from the neck down with other health problems, that caused him to not see a better future outside of his past. He just couldn’t see anymore, no matter how good his present had become and great his future really was. I ask you another question; “What was your accident?”

What crippled you? (metaphorically speaking). What is it that has left you dying? What was the situation, circumstance or person that left you dead? What past moment can you not see beyond? This could be mentally, spiritually, physically or emotionally. We are all individuals and our accidents will be different to each of us. Rhetorical questions are always the most uncomfortable because if you let yourself speak to yourself, you find out what is really inside of you, what you really believe and think.

Thinking of your own story, do not be afraid to find life again in your present. Your future can be great if you will die to your past and not die in your past. Miss the memories and don’t die in them. If you have, I’m here to let you know that there is a different way. You can live again! It might be hard but there is always hope. Ask yourself the rhetorical questions above and ultimately answer the title of this blog post. Find good, wise counsel in people. Seek good advice and find life again. Take baby steps that build heart again, encourage you to see and live again. IT IS POSSIBLE!

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Even though Will chose not to live, in the last six months of his life he actually lived in the present moment. He changed Lou’s future even though he couldn’t change his own. The film shows that you can live if you will just go through the process of being changed, coming out of your past and seeing life; not death, in your future NO MATTER what the circumstances or situations.

Be free from your past, awake in your present and alive for your future. 

 

 

 

With What Measure Do You Judge?

Interesting question isn’t it? You’re probably wondering where I am going with this, and I can surely say it’s not the route of judgment you may initially think of… it’s simply a question of perspective.

The word judge means ‘a person who decides the results of a competition, a person able or qualified to give an opinion on something, or to form an opinion or conclusion about’. At some point in our lives we all become a judge, whether this be of a person, situation or circumstance; etc, we all form an opinion (a view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge) about something or someone. However, what I want to pose to you today is whether you judge based upon truth or subjectivity?

If something is true then it is ‘real or in accordance with fact or reality‘. Whereas, to be subjective is to be ‘based on or influenced by personal feelings, tastes, or opinions; or, dependent on the mind or on an individual’s perception of its existence’. When applied to judging things, this can mean that your truth and opinion can become opposites of one another if not aligned together accurately. When you ponder this for a moment; let it really sink in, it can actually be quite dangerous.

What does this have to do with perspective? Well, how you see (physically, spiritually and mentally discern; assess, find out, recognise) can change your measure of judgment. We usually define the word measure in terms of mathematics by giving a size, amount or degree to something. This is correct, but now I want you to apply this to everything and everyone you judge… again, things become interesting.

Give it a try… think of something or someone and apply what I just said above. What are your thoughts now saying? What is your heart pouring out? What are the emotions suggesting? Has the importance, effect, or value of that thing or someone changed? Have you made a comparison, and if so is this true or subjective? What did you measure that thing or person by? Have you assessed and concluded this for yourself, or are you dependent upon a past experience, emotion, or view and speech of another? Things have changed right?

This is not meant to condemn (guilty, punishment, sentence, disapprove) you, but IT IS meant to challenge you. We have to make sure we base our judgments upon truth and not subjectivity. Sometimes our opinions or what we have heard from others can be warped, partial, deceived, or even wrong. We need to measure for ourselves, and make sure it is based upon truth.

Then He said to them, “Pay attention to what you hear. By your own standard of measurement [that is, to the extent that you study spiritual truth and apply godly wisdom] it will be measured to you [and you will be given even greater ability to respond]—and more will be given to you besides.

Mark 4:24 (The Amplified version).

As a Christian, the Word of God (the Bible) is our measuring stick (2Peter 1:3, 2Timothy 3:16-17, Acts 17:11). We are taught to test things (1John 4:1, Ephesians 4:14), and study (2Timothy 2:15), so this should be what we use to measure and judge by. The problem can be in our perspective.

As humans; oftentimes, we are given or shown something and we have our own vision, thoughts, and opinions of how it should be or look like. In Isaiah 55:8, the Lord says that his thoughts and ways are not ours. This is why we must measure by truth and not subjectivity. In my pastor’s (Pastor Michael DaCosta) message titled ‘Preparing For The Harvest’ he said something very key when put into context of this blog post.

‘It’s a sad thing when we destroy our own harvest by our own actions. – Michael DaCosta’

If our judgment is not based on truth, then we can be at risk of destroying what is ours. We need to ask God to clean our hearts, and renew our spirits and minds (Psalm 51:10, Romans 12:2, Ephesians 4:23). We need to stop, think, and pray before responding.

Even if you do not believe, follow God, or follow another religion; etc, you must be able to see the principle at hand here? If we do not see correctly, then how can we be sure that what we are doing and how we are doing it is correct? We must know that we must build and establish something on truth and not myth, gossip, or rumour.

I pledge you to think about how you measure your judgments – truth or subjectivity? Again, this is not a condemning post, it is a thought-provoking ‘change your mind‘ message that is purposed to change your life; becoming better.

Becoming A Writer: Perseverance

I haven’t blogged in a while. For over two months to be precise. I haven’t blogged simply because I have reached the writer’s epiphany… shall I continue writing?

I have been a writer for most of my life, within some sort of capacity. Whether it is writing academically in education, as a journalist, a creative writer, editor, or even teaching creative writing, I AM a writer. It is who I am and I have accepted that. This is very important for all us writer’s to accept. Not that we think we are writer’s, but we know that we ARE writer’s. It has to be an absolute conclusion within us. However, this does not make the ‘becoming’ process as a writer any easier.

The word Become is defined as:

‘Begin to be, grow to be, develop into, qualify or be accepted as, be appropriate to someone.’

(Oxford dictionary)

In order to become something, you must first partake in a process. This process is a set of life lessons which include: training, attitude adjustment (mental, physical, emotional and spiritual), perseverance, value making and re-evaluating, networking (events and people), having a statement or personal reason for writing, learning what type of writer you are, what you want and enjoy writing about, how you want to write; basically, a system of different actions and/ or steps that will allow you to achieve a specific goal and / or achievement.

I am 27-years-old, and have been writing since I was 11. I have undergone both industry and academic training- and still doing so, to become a writer. Work placements, theories… you name it, I’m learning it.

The process has been both eye-opening and challenging over the years. Even though I am a writer, my progress has hit the wall of perseverance.

Perseverance is defined as:

‘Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.’

(Dictionary.com)

It is the stage of continuing to press and keep going, regardless of how things are, or look. At this stage a writer can grow in or experience deflation, defeat, discouragement, anger and frustration, and these are just a few to note down.

Writer’s struggle with their own personal demons everyday, as everyone in their profession does, concerning their work.

‘Am I good enough? Is my work good? I am not sure I can do this? Nobody is reading my work. It’s not getting anywhere. Their work is better than mine. This is hard. What’s the point?’

Self doubt upon our identity leaves its cruel mark ingrained on writer’s at times. Constant questions are thrown at us and our work daily. BUT… when the question becomes ‘shall I continue?,‘ any writer is in for trouble as it is a crossroads. The choice could go either way… it could be lethal.

I can’t remember the last time I wrote something and felt true passion or joy. I can’t remember the last time writing infused my bones, causing me to keep writing. I don’t desire sympathy from your part. I simply wish to express the reality of a writer’s mind at times.

I’m running on auto-pilot because it’s my gift. It is something that I was partly created for here on Earth. However, this is merely not enough to keep on writing. And this is how I know that I have reached this question.

This is the stage where I am at in my process… shall I continue? A question only you can ask yourself and find the answer to. No, this does not mean that I have given up. No, this does not mean that I will no longer write or have anything to do with writing. No, this does not mean I am being negative. Can I be real with you, if only for a moment? YES, it means I have become tired.

Mental tiredness mixed with very little manifestation of your gift; given, abused or received, can make any person tired. A tired writer is a writer re-thinking his or her thinking and work… a time of returning back to the drawing board… the original vision.

I have always wrote for one purpose and one purpose only… to challenge the mindset and bring change. But when that purpose is not reaching what you expect it to, you can begin to grow weary. To become weary simply means to be mentally and physically tired (exhausted) by hard work or strain.

Now you see why a writer experiences a variety of emotions at this stage. Each emotion possibly triggering their final decision and choice of whether they continue, or pursue something else.

In order for me to move from this place, I must revisit the vision. I must revisit the purpose birthed inside of me… my writer’s DNA must be refocussed. My mind and strength must be re-evaluated.

Yes I will write. Yes I will edit. Yes I will teach and help others. Just because I am tired, it holds no excuse to stop being who I am… a writer. Perseverance is a steady pace. And this is the pace I have to readjust whilst revisiting the vision.

I must find my origin of writing… my passion. I must find the love of picking up my pen again and bringing the words on the paper alive. I must find that place when I sit on my laptop and fiercely type until my stories dance around me. Operating naturally out of my gift is not enough. I must find the source of my writing… the thing that I have lost. The joy I once had because of my own mindset and what I have let others crush within me. To write is more than a gift, more than something I have learned… IT IS NOW SOMETHING I MUST FULLY BECOME.

Taking a step back and looking at the vision does not make any writer a failure. It allows them to re-build and re-train, coming back with a bigger zeal and passion for the thing that they are… writing.

To those who are weary in the writing process… make 2017 the start of your ‘becoming’ process. The process takes years, even a lifetime. Find the courage to become all that you are… WRITER’S. Immerse yourself in writing. Stay in the writer’s process of becoming. Paint the world with the voice of your words. Make it come alive again. Give it something to hope for again. Become consumed by writing, internally and externally. We writer’s are great storytellers… we cannot afford to lose our voice now. We can’t stop now. Find whatever wall you are facing, and knock it down.

Stay in the writer’s process. Persevere with me and I will persevere with you.

 

 

Man’s Masks

I don’t know whether you have seen it or not, but there is an episode called ‘The Haunted Mask‘, in R. L Stine’s  collection; Goosebumps.

When this was turned into a television series, I used to watch this episode several times as a child. To summarise the story, it is halloween and everyone is going trick or treating. Carly Beth is looking for a mask, but cannot find one she loves. She goes to a certain mask shop and sees a room full of them, but the shopkeeper forbids selling these specific masks. She steals the scariest mask and wears it. Over time, the mask becomes harder to take off. She, literally, bonds with the mask; changing who she is.

Here lies my interest… one simple question I ask you… What Mask Do You Wear? As a society constantly split between two choices, two decisions; two ways, at what point do we pick up masks that are not who we really are?

As Carly Beth put on the mask, she took on a new persona; a new personality. She became mean and had evil intents in her mind and heart. Her nature began to change. Masks conceal who we are, both in a good (but not the long run, in order to show us something better ) and bad way.

Humanity has many masks, but I will only name a few. Do you hide under the mask of pride, thinking you know it all and are not willing or open to hear any other truths? Is it the mask of fear, completely stopping you from achieving any goal or moving forward? Is it the mask of low self esteem, hiding internally because of not being sure of how you will be perceived or are uncertain of things? Maybe it’s the mask of rejection, thinking inaccurately based upon a feeling and doing things in order to be accepted by a particular people or person? Others include rage, frustration, anger, lust, being two faced, envy, jealousy, etc… there are many!

People either ignorantly walk in masks, having acquired them over the years for various reasons, or choose to put them on. Either way, as there is a mask on, we will ultimately manifest and walk in it.  They first affect our mind, infiltrating into our heart and then we begin to physically manifest them.

Sometimes life puts masks on you and other times people put masks on you through their behaviours or words, either way we wear masks. Things aren’t all bad and we can be real… WE HAVE A CHOICE OF WHETHER WE WEAR A MASK OR NOT.

Carly Beth came to a point of internal conflict. How she used to be, a good and sweet girl, she could not see that this side of her turned evil with the mask on. Spiderman in the film Spiderman 3 also realised that his nice nature changed when he wore the black Venom suite. Carly Beth and Spiderman are in the same boat of wearing something that is not really them.

This is where there is hope and it is found in ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Acknowledgement is simply recognition (identify something seen, heard, known, etc) of the existence or of the truth of something (Dictionary.com). Truth is a fact or a reality that someone/thing becomes conformed to (Dictionary.com).

Carly Beth acknowledged THE TRUTH that this mean nature was not her, but it was actually the mask she wore. Spiderman acknowledged THE TRUTH when he saw that the proud and unapologetic behaviour and speech he manifested was not him; but the suite he wore. They acknowledged their masks with truth. They also acknowledged that this wasn’t who they wanted to be. This is key because this will determine whether you choose to lay down your mask or not.

When we acknowledge truth the process of taking off the mask can be painful. We are naked but we dare not be ashamed. It is hard to peel off the years of masks, the residue they leave can be scary but IT CAN BE DONE over time and the cost of going through the process to remove them is worth it.

We MUST present ourselves with truth daily. We must acknowledge and depict the thoughts in our minds, the intents of our hearts and the sound released from our mouths. The only way you break free from any mask is first to acknowledge it and then daily choose to put it down. Find truth and stick to it. Walk with those who walk in truth too. Sometimes it can be hard to see and accept truth, especially when we ourselves are exposed, but we must in order to not be deceived.

Carly Beth returned to who she really was. Spiderman became who he originally was. They had to deal with the consequences of the masks, but they were ultimately restored to their original natures. Just like any rehab treatment or recovery process, it will take time but with the right help and company of people, the only mask we wear is who we were originally created to be.

Relaying this to us today, will we choose to become who we really are or will we continue to put on man’s masks? You have a choice.

I leave you with a simple thought. To paraphrase Stasi and John Eldredge, we are always becoming something and God is concerned with what we are becoming. Ask yourself if who you are is REALLY who you are…

An Untouchable Nature

‘The Untouchables‘ is a four time nominated Academy Award film from 1987 based upon the autobiography memoirs of Eliot Ness, published in 1957 about the capture of crime boss Al Capone.

In the film, government agent Eliot Ness (actor Kevin Costner) alongside a hand selected team including officer Jimmy Malone (actor Sean Connery), later to be called ‘The Untouchables‘, set out to stop gangster leader Al Capone (actor Robert De Niro) because of his seven year reign of corruption during the prohibition.

In the film Al Capone is seen as invincible. Through the power of persuasion and influence, any crime that could be connected to him quickly dissolved. He had informants and inside men in different fields of work that allowed him to become like the federal agent group after him, untouchable. 

Robert De Niro as Al Capone

Even though the film title refers to the group of law enforcement agents, the thing that strikes me is the untouchability of Al Capone. Untouchable means that the nature of something cannot be touched, it cannot be moved. Al Capone had this nature.

Do you know that men (universally speaking) can have untouchable natures? The very essence of who they are cannot be touched. For a person to be untouchable it means that an area of their life, mind, emotions, will and hearts cannot be penetrated.

Exodus 32:9 I have seen these people,” the LORD said to Moses, “and they are a stiff-necked people.” (NIV)

Acts 7:51 “You stiff-necked people! Your hearts and ears are still uncircumcised. You are just like your ancestors: You always resist the Holy Spirit! (NIV)

The Bible, in the Old Testament (days before Christ, Jewish history) God and those he spoke through always talked about proud people and the turning away of God. It was also spoken of in the New Testament (days of and after Christ, birth of the church, etc). To be stiff-necked is to be proud.

Are you untouchable like this? Is there a part of you that cannot be moved?

• Can people speak to you about issues in your life without you taking offence?
• Are you a know-it-all or can you listen to what others say without shutting them or yourself down?
• Are you in a delusion of humility but really oozing of pride?
• Are you open to be wrong about something or someone?

We can ask ourselves many rhetorically questions to find out whether or not we have an untouchable nature within ourselves and lives. Natures can be formed and re-formed.

In my last blog post I wrote about your character speaking for you. What you choose to do in action will speak before you in words. The nature of a person is very important, your lifestyle and character show people who you are.

Al Capone’s lifestyle was an example of this, he allowed crime, violence and corruption to form his untouchable nature.

Not all is lost in this nature as it can take on two forms, good or bad, proud or humble. Humility is having the quality or condition of a modest opinion or a knowing of one’s own importance, rank, etc. Even Jesus knew he was more than that which he chose to take on (Philippians 2). Al Calpone represents the negative but Paul from the Bible is an example of an untouchable nature in the positive.

Saul of Tarsus (his name before his encounter with God) persecuted followers of Christ until  his encounter with God on the Damascus road, which completely changed Paul’s nature (his name after his encounter of the risen Christ).

In the Bible, Paul in the New Testament records;

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39– NLT).

After Paul was changed from his encounter, he became untouchable in the things of God, speaking up for what he believed in and sharing it with people, even when it put him in prison. He still had his issues, like we all do, but he chose to become moved by God only.

We have the choice of which side of untouchability we become.   We become incorruptible and unmoved in good or we become corruptible and unmoved in wrong.

Never under-estimate the power of an untouchable nature. Look within yourself to see what type of untouchable you are.

Crazy Always Has A Plan

The Joker

I have been thinking a lot about the movie Batman: The Dark Knight recently. My main trail of thought has been obsessively over the role of the character the Joker, played by the late Heath Ledger. His look, his mindset and most importantly his sole purpose for Gotham City. The brilliant execution of his direct mind tricks and well executed plans were all hidden under the mask of ‘insanity’ for this particular character. His questionable insanity covered for a much bigger picture… Harvey Dent; Gotham’s shining knight.

The Joker also seen to be an agent of chaos caused complete hell in Gotham city. He had the whole city including the favoured Batman wrapped around his little finger. Batman did the usual, what all superheroes do, went formidably after the Joker and in doing so he missed the BIGGER picture. Agents of chaos do not create havoc for no reason; there has to be a reason, a plan… a purpose. The Joker was never after Gotham city, he was never after the citizens of Gotham City; not the Police department or even Batman. He went after that which was good, that which would bring great change… Harvey Dent.

The Joker and Harvey Dent

The Joker reminds me a lot of the enemy, the Devil; Satan. He always goes after one thing… your hope, just like the Joker went after Harvey Dent who represented a symbol of hope and great change for Gotham city. Take away a person’s hope and they have nothing. There is no foundation or common ground to work with, they have given up in mind and heart. The worst thing that can happen to a person is to give up in heart. The heart is the central place of a human being; physically and spiritually. Physically once your heart stops, life if over and this is also the case spiritually; you die. No life comes out.

Hope is pretty much life. It’s quite scary to think that humanity can lose heart so very quick; life’s circumstances either make you or break you. Keeping hope is a major fight; a battle for your soul. Once all hope is lost, that little spark in someone’s eye is gone; we begin losing that which is precious… ourselves.

By the time Batman saw the bigger picture it was too late, Harvey Dent became the testimony of the Joker. The Joker’s mind tricks and plans were all distractions which later led to stealing the hope out of Harvey Dent who then (not in the movie) goes on to becoming a villain called Two Face. Harvey’s circumstances and logical understanding let the Joker steal his hope, his identity, his life and the hope of a new life which he was to become to Gotham City.

Circumstances and situations that life hits you with can sometimes be distractions for a bigger picture. They can ultimately act as tools in which can lead or play a great part in you losing your hope; your life. Regardless of how it looks don’t let your circumstances take away the element of life that dwells in you.