Man’s Masks

I don’t know whether you have seen it or not, but there is an episode called ‘The Haunted Mask‘, in R. L Stine’s  collection; Goosebumps.

When this was turned into a television series, I used to watch this episode several times as a child. To summarise the story, it is halloween and everyone is going trick or treating. Carly Beth is looking for a mask, but cannot find one she loves. She goes to a certain mask shop and sees a room full of them, but the shopkeeper forbids selling these specific masks. She steals the scariest mask and wears it. Over time, the mask becomes harder to take off. She, literally, bonds with the mask; changing who she is.

Here lies my interest… one simple question I ask you… What Mask Do You Wear? As a society constantly split between two choices, two decisions; two ways, at what point do we pick up masks that are not who we really are?

As Carly Beth put on the mask, she took on a new persona; a new personality. She became mean and had evil intents in her mind and heart. Her nature began to change. Masks conceal who we are, both in a good (but not the long run, in order to show us something better ) and bad way.

Humanity has many masks, but I will only name a few. Do you hide under the mask of pride, thinking you know it all and are not willing or open to hear any other truths? Is it the mask of fear, completely stopping you from achieving any goal or moving forward? Is it the mask of low self esteem, hiding internally because of not being sure of how you will be perceived or are uncertain of things? Maybe it’s the mask of rejection, thinking inaccurately based upon a feeling and doing things in order to be accepted by a particular people or person? Others include rage, frustration, anger, lust, being two faced, envy, jealousy, etc… there are many!

People either ignorantly walk in masks, having acquired them over the years for various reasons, or choose to put them on. Either way, as there is a mask on, we will ultimately manifest and walk in it.  They first affect our mind, infiltrating into our heart and then we begin to physically manifest them.

Sometimes life puts masks on you and other times people put masks on you through their behaviours or words, either way we wear masks. Things aren’t all bad and we can be real… WE HAVE A CHOICE OF WHETHER WE WEAR A MASK OR NOT.

Carly Beth came to a point of internal conflict. How she used to be, a good and sweet girl, she could not see that this side of her turned evil with the mask on. Spiderman in the film Spiderman 3 also realised that his nice nature changed when he wore the black Venom suite. Carly Beth and Spiderman are in the same boat of wearing something that is not really them.

This is where there is hope and it is found in ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Acknowledgement is simply recognition (identify something seen, heard, known, etc) of the existence or of the truth of something (Dictionary.com). Truth is a fact or a reality that someone/thing becomes conformed to (Dictionary.com).

Carly Beth acknowledged THE TRUTH that this mean nature was not her, but it was actually the mask she wore. Spiderman acknowledged THE TRUTH when he saw that the proud and unapologetic behaviour and speech he manifested was not him; but the suite he wore. They acknowledged their masks with truth. They also acknowledged that this wasn’t who they wanted to be. This is key because this will determine whether you choose to lay down your mask or not.

When we acknowledge truth the process of taking off the mask can be painful. We are naked but we dare not be ashamed. It is hard to peel off the years of masks, the residue they leave can be scary but IT CAN BE DONE over time and the cost of going through the process to remove them is worth it.

We MUST present ourselves with truth daily. We must acknowledge and depict the thoughts in our minds, the intents of our hearts and the sound released from our mouths. The only way you break free from any mask is first to acknowledge it and then daily choose to put it down. Find truth and stick to it. Walk with those who walk in truth too. Sometimes it can be hard to see and accept truth, especially when we ourselves are exposed, but we must in order to not be deceived.

Carly Beth returned to who she really was. Spiderman became who he originally was. They had to deal with the consequences of the masks, but they were ultimately restored to their original natures. Just like any rehab treatment or recovery process, it will take time but with the right help and company of people, the only mask we wear is who we were originally created to be.

Relaying this to us today, will we choose to become who we really are or will we continue to put on man’s masks? You have a choice.

I leave you with a simple thought. To paraphrase Stasi and John Eldredge, we are always becoming something and God is concerned with what we are becoming. Ask yourself if who you are is REALLY who you are…

Nature Changes Everything

My final blog post of 2015 will continue on the journey into  character. A reoccurring thought has trapped my mind over the last few days, the thought of ‘the nature of someone or something can change everything.’ A great example of this can be seen through Jason Gideon.

Mandy Patinkin played Jason Gideon, a criminal profiler and Senior Supervisory agent of the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit in the U.S. Police procedural crime series Criminal Minds.

Gideon spent many years training to be a profiler and was one of the best. His knowledge partnered with experience allowed him to be a great asset to the BAU, but as cases went on something inside of Gideon began to change.

During the ‘Boston Shrapnel Bomber’ case, Gideon sent six men into a warehouse which the bomber detonated. Gideon was criticised for his decisions and the handling of the case. He suffered a breakdown, taking six months medical leave suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Upon his return he was Senior Agent with Aaron Hotchner as Unit Chief.

If you have ever watched the show, you will know that the nature of the job is very pressing on every aspect of the agents lives and demands much from them.

After Gideon returned and continued working several trying cases, something had changed. Gideon was no longer mentally and emotionally who he was before. Adding to this he ascended into further emotional turmoil when close friend and love interest, Sarah Jacobs, was killed by an unsub because Gideon would not let him continue to kill people. These events led to Gideon resigning from the BAU.

Gideon’s job cost him the woman he loved and because of this Gideon walked away. He had failed to protect his heart. As he failed to protect his heart, he also lost some of the battle in his mind, hence him leaving his job at the BAU. Things were not how they used to be, somehow they became more personal. Gideon became infected emotionally, physically and mentally. His heart grew weary and his vision became dull.

“I just don’t understand any of it anymore”- Jason Gideon

How much more different are we from Gideon? Life hands out different dealings to each of us. Some we bring upon ourselves and are the consequences of our decisions or actions, whilst others are completely out of our control. Our emotional, physical, mental and spiritual selves are infected.

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life- Proverbs 4:23 (New Living Translation)

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect- Romans 12:1-2 (New American Standard version)

Ephesians 6:10-20 

When we fail to protect or guard ourselves, we become infected. What infects you? What causes you to turn over inside? What causes your nature to change? Do you change for better or for worse? Work, religion, family and friends, beliefs, values, society, media, emotions, thoughts, health, wealth, traditions, cultures; an endless list.

Impacts from these and other things also change our perspective. Our vision becomes distorted. Gideon was a great profiler, of which we saw in series 10 when Gideon was hot on the trail of an unsub even though he had left the BAU. Being a profiler was still inside of Gideon but somewhere down the line what he had gone through he allowed to change his nature.

“I guess I’m just looking for it again. For the belief I had back in college. The belief I had when I first met Sarah and it all seemed so right. The belief in happy endings” – Jason Gideon

Gideon had to find hope again before he could move forward. Going into the new year, most people make new year resolutions. We set new challenges, orders, goals and structures in our lives with a deadline. I charge you with this menacing thought for 2016; WHAT WILL I ALLOW TO CHANGE MY NATURE THIS YEAR?

We must protect our hearts, minds, souls and spirits from internal and external circumstances, as well as their impact on us. Really take time out to see who you really are as a person. What is your nature saying? What changes or is changing your nature? Renew things which need to be renewed and let go of things that are not good for you.

I end again with this, ‘the nature of someone or something can change everything.’

Quotes about character

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.”
― August Wilson

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
― John Wooden

“Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think it is and the tree is the real thing.”
― Abraham Lincoln

“People do not seem to realise that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When you choose your friends, don’t be short-changed by choosing personality over character.”
― W. Somerset Maugham

“Character is doing what you don’t want to do but know you should do.”
― Joyce Meyer

“One’s character is set at an early age. The choices you make now will affect you for the rest of your life. I hate to see you swim out so far you can’t swim back.”
― Wendelin Van Draanen, Flipped

“Choices determine character.”
― Brandon Mull, Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary

“We cannot live better than in seeking to become better.”
― Socrates

 

A Boy Wielding His Sword

Last week a friend of mine got me to play catch-up to BBC2 historical drama  ‘The Last Kingdom‘. Set in the year 872 where the separate kingdoms, now known as England, had fallen to the invading Danes. This had left the great kingdom of Wessex standing alone and defiant. A Saxon man, Uhtred, is captured as a slave and raised by the Danes. He must now choose a side and play his part in the birth of a nation, alongside King Alfred the Great. Please forgive me as my history is a little rough on the edges.

As soon as I saw the opening credits for episode one I automatically wanted to switch it over as it is not my viewing taste but I was caught by a dominant image that has stained my mind and provoked my blog post today.

In the first battle scene as the Danes are conquering, Uhtred who is only aged 10 at the time, picks up his sword and shield to fight. When watching it I cringed and thought to myself “what is he doing?” as I knew he did not stand a chance. He was untrained not only physically but also emotionally and mentally. This young boy was not ready for war or his purpose at this moment in life.

My provoked thought just from this scene was; What are the dangers of a boy nature in a man’s body? Please do not get caught up on the wording of this sentence, gender plays no connotation as I am referring to maturity but figuratively in the visuals of a man and boy.

When soldiers go to war, men are sent. Gideon’s army was narrowed down to 300 men (Judges 7). Intensive training and regimes are undergone when training for war. You are prepared mentally, physically and emotionally in order to face war. You go in a boy and come out a man, as they say. Every part of you is stripped, your boy nature is broken down. It is broken as this immature nature cannot carry you through a war, it will only let you go so far.

Outside of physical war, we all as a people need to be trained. The boy nature within us all exists. The nature that wants no responsibility and little accountability but thinks it is ready for anything. If your boy nature is stronger than your man nature then there is a problem.

Uhtred, even though a slave to the Danes, was eventually taken on as a son by them in the programme and trained to be a fighter. They taught him how to fight strategically and wield his sword. The problem we can have as people are that we let our boy nature wield our lives. Immaturity masks maturity.

The problem with a boy nature is that after it has had its satisfaction met, it leaves behind a mess. The mess can be very damaging not only to the situation it was involved in but also the others involved or around it. It leaves wounds and scars because of the refusal to grow up and deal with a situation properly.

1 Corinthians 13:11 says ‘When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things’ (New Living Translation).

If we stay as a child, we will reap the benefits of a child. We must learn to reign in our boy natures. We cannot let our boy nature control our lives as it will cost us in the long run.

Before a soldier is sent, his training must first be completed and completed to the required standard. We cannot win life with a boy nature, only the growing of maturity will cause us to rise in life.

Think about your life and where you can identify this boy nature. Be encouraged to work on changing this nature before this nature completely changes you.

 

Sometimes Only Beauty Can Talk To Your Beast

Disney characters are not my usual choice of subject matter but I must admit that my mind has presently become enchanted by the story of ‘Beauty and the Beast‘.

A witch places a curse upon a handsome Prince turning him into a beast because of the horror of his character. An old man is held captive by the beast due to an accident and his daughter Belle goes on a rescue mission to get her father back but falls into a much bigger adventure; falling in love and releasing the Beast from his curse.

This tale has a happy ending but life does not always grant us such a wish. Although this story is make-believe, it also mirrors human reality.  We are allured into a display of unconditional love. The fierce awakened heart of Belle vs the dead heart of the Beast.

Belle’s beauty not only entices the natural eye but is also within. Beauty is defined in the dictionary as;

The quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, colour, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

It is a personality and character trait, not just an external mark. Belle’s internal beauty not only accepts but unrestrictedly loves. The bravery of her heart pours out love and life to the Beast who is cold and uninviting in nature.

What I love about both characters other than their vast differences is their need for each other. Life must meet with death.

Life can cause us to become like the Beast; ugly. Part of our nature, our character turns wild in order to cope with how we have handled life. We can become cold on the inside whilst operating as normal in society. Externally we have it all going on but internally we are or have died.

We can bring the term ‘living dead’ to life, physically alive but internally sleeping.  The Beast was as fine as can be. He operated in all his powers and duties as Prince but a part of him was quite dead on the inside.

The thought came to me recently that we all need beauty in our lives. Pure and true love brings forth a deeper beauty that outshines its external counterpart. The kind of love that melts hearts and is not destructive or lustful. Belle’s warm heart and loving nature freed an enslaved Prince from his cruel and selfish nature. We all need a nature in life that causes us to become better.

This can be seen in the relationship of Phoebe and Cole in the TV series Charmed. Cole is a half human/ half demon (Belthazor) sent to kill Phoebe and her sisters who are witches. Cole falls in love with Phoebe and it is this love that not only saves Phoebe and her sisters but also Cole. The beauty of love from Phoebe takes over and helps the beast inside Cole.

 

Again this happens  in the film Dracula: Untold. In order to protect his kingdom Prince Vlad becomes a monster (vampire). When the beast inside of him becomes stronger it is his wife who calms the beast through love by reminding him of who he really is.

These examples show beauty and love through the vessel of a woman but I want us to look beyond gender and see that the real beauty is expressed through their internal nature. This beauty within them and a ‘knowing’ of who they are paves way for unconditional love, continuous persistence and strength to accept those they love. Out of this strength a hope and grace is released which empowers them to walk alongside a beast nature until the original nature comes back.

Sometimes it is hard to talk to a beast but love can break through. On our good and bad days we can all become like the Hulk. Kind words, encouragement, wise counsel and advice; anything that awakens us inside is important. Not a quick fix pill but a character and nature that transforms us into who we really are.

The beast transformed back into the Prince but had changed his nature. Cole eventually lost Phoebe due to his dark side and lived in regret, never losing or forgetting his love for her. A battle caused Prince Vlad to lose his wife and he became a monster for eternity.

We always have a choice in the matter of who we become. We cannot control life circumstances or guarantee our endings but we can choose who we are. We must allow beauty to transform us when presented with it in its true form, accept true love. Finding this is a process but your journey with true beauty and love must begin.

 

 

What Is LIVING In Your Head?

Your mind is a vast specimen and an approved force to be reckoned with however in an unwholesome stage it can be your worst nightmare. Take a few minutes to watch the below clip from the series Criminal Minds (season 10 episode 11– The Forever People).

The above clip is solely my driven purpose for this blog post as I am not here to talk about this episode in its entirety.

Jennifer Jareau, known as JJ suffered traumatic and unforeseen abuse at the hands of her ex- overseas colleague, Tivon Askari, whilst working a case. JJ again became a victim of those which her and the team imprison. She suffered not only mental but also physical torture which triggered the loss of her unborn child; forever leaving her scarred.

After the death of Tivon, one year later she is forced to face the anniversary of the event. Every thought and emotion made its presence known and began to manifest like water given to plants. Just like the rest of humanity JJ is no exception to the constant battle of the mind. Even after one year JJ was under the assumption that she had dealt with the situation, which to us in our terms means “I thought I was over it?”.

For one whole year JJ functioned in her ability as a mum, wife and BAU agent. Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually she had dealt with very little concerning what had happened. We know this as the above clip speaks of JJ’s unconscious mind.

JJ’s dialogue makes for interesting discussion. Her behaviour started speaking which showed a change in her character. Something has shifted in JJ. Her speech, confidence and actions exhibited her non-verbal dialogue. The real conversation was between JJ and her unconscious mind, that which was internally speaking to her.

Tivon Askari

Your unconscious mind is very much alive. We go through different situations and circumstances of which we most times have no control over. The deciding factor of rising above or sinking beneath are the decisions we internally make which determine our actions. The only problem is that we forget to CHECK our unconscious mind.

By definition alone the word unconscious means without awareness, cognition or sensation. The processes in the mind that take place automatically and not given a reflection period. Our thought processes, memories, motivations, etc. The unconscious and its processes exist under the surface and impact our behaviour. Academic research studies have suggested that the unconscious includes repressed feelings, automatic skills, subliminal perceptions, thoughts, habits, automatic reactions and possibly hidden phobias and desires. Some processes expressed in dreams, slips of the tongue and jokes.

Dealing with that which is under the surface is a very important part of growing as a person. When a part of you is revealed and this is enlightened unto you, you have a responsibility and an accountability to do something about it. However as the unconscious deals with under the surface, it HAS to be revealed. Sometimes people are used to show us what we are really made of then at other times we can see our own reflections based upon how we respond to that which happens to us. Yes there is always help but we also have a part to play. JJ’s response was to function at home and work but what she really needed to do was face the monster in her unconscious mind.

Dr Reid addressing JJ’s behaviour

Rather than looking under our skin we can sometimes become efficient. Using what we have in order to just pass by in life rather than sacrificing ourselves to the fullest in order to be all we can be. We hide in the functioning of everyday life when in reality we are unaware of the damage we are doing to ourselves because we are not dealing with what we are really thinking, feeling and going through which is internally taking its toll. Regardless of how much we divorce ourselves from reality we  will never deal with what is under our surface until we face it for ourselves. We all have our own individual ways of dealing with things but what is really living in our minds? What is your unconscious mind saying to you?

The mental processing taking place in our mind is what needs to be daily re-evaluated and challenged. Whether this be our religious belief systems, our dealings with people, how we talk or act towards ourselves and others, our values, our jobs, our personal confidence and self esteem, our relationships with our neighbours, family and friends; the list goes on. We really need to check all our repressed feelings, automatic skills, subliminal perceptions, thoughts, habits, automatic reactions, hidden phobias and desires. We need to see what is going on inside of us. Even the Bible tells us to examine ourselves (1Corinthians 11:28) and look at yourself to change you before being quick to judge others (Matthew 7:5).

My proposal to you today and even unto myself is for us conduct an individual check-up on ourselves; our hearts, feelings and MIND. Yes there is more to our minds than the unconscious but we need to see what is living in it as it is that which has the potential to make or break us. Whether you turn to people for wise counsel or prayer, something needs to be done with the living elements in our minds. Do not be ignorant, deceived or not willing to deal with yourself.

Let’s find and take this journey. There will be times when we really do not like, want to see or even believe what is really underneath but I can assure you that taking and sticking with the best process is a lifetime commitment and will be beneficial. We are merely responding to what can be a great time of change and transformation.

 

 

A Split Being

Humanity is known for its talent of hiding. We have learned the art of contouring, blending life’s situations and circumstances with our identities. Rather than seeking out the true nature of ourselves from the battles in life we have or may face, we can sometimes become lost in the very apparel of the scars life leaves behind.

These scars take on all forms, shapes and sizes. They come from all walks of life. We attain them as children and carry them our entire adult lives. We can either walk with our scars as healed people showing where we have come from or colour in our wounds to match our exterior but as soon as they are touched they bleed crimson red. The second type of walking with the scar can also be translated as ‘unresolved issues’. Those things that we think we are over but really there is another ‘person’ inside us who is warring to break out. We let our mask master us rather than us reigning over our mask.

Unresolved issues are like any other problem in life. They eventually come to the surface. You can not hide from yourself because sooner or later you will catch your reflection and have to face yourself.

Some of you may or may not remember a TV series titled ‘Heroes‘.  A set of stories about ordinary everyday people who discover they have superhuman abilities. These abilities bring them altogether for an ultimate purpose. Each character had their own story to tell along the battle field of good vs evil. However the character I would like us to get acquainted with is Niki Sanders.

One part of a triplet with the ability of enhanced strength at birth, adopted by the Sanders family which went on to form a great bond with her sister Jessica. Unfortunately her adoptive father was abusive creating circumstances which led to the death of her sister Jessica and a repressed mind state in which Niki developed a split personality.

Jessica & Niki Sanders

Niki had a family, a whole new life from the one she had once known. Niki’s abusive past created an alter ego which named itself as her sister Jessica. After many years she was once again faced with her father which conjured many different thoughts and emotions of her past. Jessica came to surface and protected Niki. As the doorway had been opened Jessica became more aggressive and powerful. Jessica could not be controlled by anyone, not even Niki. Niki did everything she could to suppress Jessica, she even took tablets as Jessica would leave for a while but when Niki had to face herself again Jessica would always come back.

The matter at hand here was Niki’s ‘unresolved issues’. Her mind had not faced the demons of her past which allowed an access point for an alter ego. Rather than going through the healing process her mind repressed everything she had experienced. Niki became two people, she was a split being.

Unresolved issues are an internal matter. When someone hurts us, if we don’t forgive or anything else for that matter, it creates a hard heart and we begin to feel the affects internally. This could be from simply thinking about a situation or person as well as seeing them or being put in a situation which has caused a scar. Our journey in life allows us to go through many different things. Some things we can handle and get over whilst others may be a bit of a struggle. It is very important to be honest with yourself and face the part of you that you are hiding from.

Some people have experienced what only we would say is inhumane justice in this world. Their stories tell of only darkness with which there is no light. This makes things harder as the battle has been so intense. However as John and Stasi Eldredge have taught me that you are always becoming someone or something no matter whether you are doing something or not. That God is interested in who you are becoming because you are becoming something. By dealing with your under the surface problems you are looking to become the true you but my burying them you are becoming something you are not.

Niki knew that she was not Jessica but Niki needed help in order to get rid of Jessica. When we do not deal with unresolved issues within us that which is not of us becomes stronger. Just like when Venom could take over Spiderman (see my blog post titled Resisting Venom) because he was being unforgiving and Jessica took over Niki; unresolved issues make us someone we are not.

We all need help in order to get rid of the shadows of who we become due to life’s situations and circumstances. The whole point of life is for us to be our selves to the best of life’s ability. We all struggle with the common human error of hiding but at what cost do we become someone else? Are our personal unresolved issues really worth us becoming something we are not?

We are better to face the pain than let the pain become our face internally. Being yourself is more precious and important than masquerading in a mask far from your real complexion.