Tell Me Something Good?

Will: Don’t be sad Clark.

Clark: Tell me something good?

In times of uncertainty where we find ourselves shaken by current events and circumstances, one of our most human assets can go astray… HOPE!

Hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen, to expect with confidence, expectation of fulfilment or success… TRUST. It’s the breath that causes us to rise in the morning to fight another day. The gentle voice that whispers “you’ll be ok” to the screaming mind in the midnight hour of personal hell on earth. The thing that causes us to believe in something, for something more and better to come.

Desiring not to spoil the plot of the text ‘Me Before You;’  due to the current circumstance Clark found herself in, her hearts cry manifested into one simple question, “tell me something good?”

Clark had no control over the circumstance she was in and became overwhelmed. In her constant battle with the situation, the hope that was strong in the beginning began to grow weary… fail.

When hope fails, vision changes. We can no longer see; or can with very little illumination, the things which once were. The things we used to have hope in or for. You could say that we die a little more and more inside.

In a world where diseases strike nations, systems collapse, the true natures of men (people) are revealed, nature suffers, the climate shifts and uncertainty strangles any chance of a bright future, WHAT is our hope and WHO is speaking it?

THERE IS A VOICE…

And David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because all the people were bitter in soul, each for his sons and daughters. But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God. (1 Samuel 30:6 – English Standard Version)

When David (from the bible) was downcast because of external situations around him, he internally strengthened himself in God. God was the WHAT and WHO of his hope.

Will: I wi-li-lished I li-li-lived in Molahonkey la-la-land. The la-la-land where I-li-li was bo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo lorn…

When Clark was downcast, Will sang the childhood song her father sang to her when she wasn’t well. The song of her father became the WHAT and WHO of her hope.

We all need an answer to this question. God was David’s answer. Clark’s father’s childhood song was her answer. When neither of them could answer their own question, their true source of hope revealed the answer to them. What’s your answer?

With everything that is going on around us and every circumstance we find or have ever found ourselves in, WHAT and WHO is our hope? What is its source?

Our heart is manifesting the question, “tell me something good? Our hope is the thing that will answer this question. Your WHAT and WHO is its source. Let us examine the true source of our hope.

 

 

 

Spiritual Dysmorphia

My mind has been running its usual mental marathon, trying to think of a simple analogy to describe an internal spiritual  condition of humanity.

Between 4-5AM of Monday morning, the answer finally came to me… Body Dysmorphia. Random right? However, for the purposes of this blog post I will be using this to describe what I am talking about.

Body Dysmorphia (BDD) is “an anxiety disorder that causes a person to have a distorted view of how they look and to spend a lot of time worrying about their appearance.” – NHS definition.

It consists of distressing thoughts about the self (body image) that do not go away. They become negative and are very impactful on an individual’s daily life. A person suffering from it believes they are ugly or defective in some way, and believe other people perceive them the same way. It is very focussed on the ‘external,’ but from an internal perspective.

It is no respecter of persons; affecting both males and females of different ages. It affects many people all over the world and is often hidden by those who struggle with it. More info.

Even though this blog post is not about BDD, this was the answer I was given. I was thinking to myself “why would Body Dysmorphia be the answer I am looking for to describe an internal concept?” The image that followed that question was a woman standing in front of a mirror, and her reflection looking back was very warped.

What Do You See?

I want you to consider something from a spiritual perspective. When using the word ‘spiritual,’ in this context I am referring to something “relating to or affecting the human spirit or soul, as opposed to material or physical things.” – Google definition. I am referring to the internal, not the external.

BDD causes an ugly image to be reflected back, when in reality the true image is different. This is where I flip the script. If we reverse BDD to a spiritual point of view (focussing on the warped reflection looking back – seeing the inside and ignoring the outside), my question to you is: IS THE UGLY, DEFORMED, WARPED PERSON IN YOUR REFLECTION REALLY YOU? This is something I have coined as Spiritual Dysmorphia.

Rather than automatically saying “no” because the outside looks fine, and you may be functioning well – everything is going good for you; no problems or you don’t sense or see any, really have a long look at the warped reflection. Bless God if it’s not true, but the problem is WHEN IT IS TRUE.

Your reflection in this context is who you are as a person: what you do, what you don’t do, your attitude (way of thinking) towards yourself and others, your behaviour in terms of how you treat yourself and others, how you generally think about things, your words and thoughts; etc. Spiritual Dysmorphia is all about the internal; what physically cannot be seen but internally exists under the surface.

Another way to think of Spiritual Dysmorphia is through the Disney Character ‘Beast‘ from Beauty and the Beast.

The Beast

The Beast was externally beautiful but internally ugly: his nature and character were horrible, his heart and mind were ugly too. He was cursed by becoming as ugly externally as he was internally.

“Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.” – Mark 7:15 (New International Version).

“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.” – Proverbs 27:19 (New Living Translation).

What is inside of you will eventually leak out. Spiritual Dysmorphia asks you to look at the true state of your internal nature and character. It asks you to check the state and condition of your heart. What is really going on in your spirit and soul? It asks you to question what you are portraying and producing. It requires you to go deeper into the reflection and deal with what it TRULY seen. If left unchecked or sitting in deception, it will crush you, your life and others around you.

Paul from the Bible and Robert Louis Stevenson (author of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde,) are two of my favourite people. They understood the dual nature of humanity – Paul describing it as spirit and flesh (the fight against good and doing what God wants, or bad and doing as ‘me, myself and I’ wants with no care or desire for God as your will is stronger) from a Christian point of view, and Robert describing it as “man is not truly one, but two,” from a novelists’ perspective.

I wanted to highlight this condition as anyone can easily fall into it. There is such a focus on the external when the true issue is our internal nature and character – our heart and mind. What we need to consider is what is really inside us.

It is hard to acknowledge all of ourselves at times, we would like to leave out the bad. But don’t be fooled by believing that you may be ‘all good’ when you may not be, or as Paul would deem as fleshy (acting in your own accord, understanding, will, desires, heart, mind, etc).

Sometimes we can be ignorant to the ugly reflection staring back at us, and sometimes we can be very aware of it. Once revealed to us, we are responsible for what we know and have the chance to change. When we are mature, there is more responsibility and accountability given to us. The problem becomes when we do not seek to change or transform our warped reflection.

“True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.” – Karl Popper.

The Bible speaks a lot about examining yourself (checking yourself). It is important to check yourself for Spiritual Dysmorphia. Praying, reading, observing, reviewing our thoughts, watching your actions and motives – the intents of the heart; etc.

“After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief—we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!” –2Corinthians 2:11 (The Message Version).

Do not think that you can never be untouched by Spiritual Dysmorphia. Ignorance or pride un-noticed is not bliss.

Choose to take a look today and ponder your reflection. The great thing is that there is always an opportunity to change the deformity. Just remember: Your inside is much more important than your outside.

 

 

 

A Boy Wielding His Sword

Last week a friend of mine got me to play catch-up to BBC2 historical drama  ‘The Last Kingdom‘. Set in the year 872 where the separate kingdoms, now known as England, had fallen to the invading Danes. This had left the great kingdom of Wessex standing alone and defiant. A Saxon man, Uhtred, is captured as a slave and raised by the Danes. He must now choose a side and play his part in the birth of a nation, alongside King Alfred the Great. Please forgive me as my history is a little rough on the edges.

As soon as I saw the opening credits for episode one I automatically wanted to switch it over as it is not my viewing taste but I was caught by a dominant image that has stained my mind and provoked my blog post today.

In the first battle scene as the Danes are conquering, Uhtred who is only aged 10 at the time, picks up his sword and shield to fight. When watching it I cringed and thought to myself “what is he doing?” as I knew he did not stand a chance. He was untrained not only physically but also emotionally and mentally. This young boy was not ready for war or his purpose at this moment in life.

My provoked thought just from this scene was; What are the dangers of a boy nature in a man’s body? Please do not get caught up on the wording of this sentence, gender plays no connotation as I am referring to maturity but figuratively in the visuals of a man and boy.

When soldiers go to war, men are sent. Gideon’s army was narrowed down to 300 men (Judges 7). Intensive training and regimes are undergone when training for war. You are prepared mentally, physically and emotionally in order to face war. You go in a boy and come out a man, as they say. Every part of you is stripped, your boy nature is broken down. It is broken as this immature nature cannot carry you through a war, it will only let you go so far.

Outside of physical war, we all as a people need to be trained. The boy nature within us all exists. The nature that wants no responsibility and little accountability but thinks it is ready for anything. If your boy nature is stronger than your man nature then there is a problem.

Uhtred, even though a slave to the Danes, was eventually taken on as a son by them in the programme and trained to be a fighter. They taught him how to fight strategically and wield his sword. The problem we can have as people are that we let our boy nature wield our lives. Immaturity masks maturity.

The problem with a boy nature is that after it has had its satisfaction met, it leaves behind a mess. The mess can be very damaging not only to the situation it was involved in but also the others involved or around it. It leaves wounds and scars because of the refusal to grow up and deal with a situation properly.

1 Corinthians 13:11 says ‘When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things’ (New Living Translation).

If we stay as a child, we will reap the benefits of a child. We must learn to reign in our boy natures. We cannot let our boy nature control our lives as it will cost us in the long run.

Before a soldier is sent, his training must first be completed and completed to the required standard. We cannot win life with a boy nature, only the growing of maturity will cause us to rise in life.

Think about your life and where you can identify this boy nature. Be encouraged to work on changing this nature before this nature completely changes you.

 

It Is ‘OK’ To Dream Again

Dreams are ‘a succession of images, thoughts or emotions passing through the mind during sleep’. I want to speak about the dreams that are connected to our desires which have either been able to make it to the surface or have been locked away due to circumstances and wounded emotions.

Dreams when made reality awake the soul of a man. You begin to become alive on the inside. This could be the start of your business, your dream job or career, starting your own family, getting married, believing that there is a special person for you to grow old with for the rest of your life, owning your own house or car; the list continues. We are meant to live out those things which bring us to life.

Dreams dependent upon the context of our desires are meant to be lived out. Not all our desires are good or beneficial to us. They can sometimes be a warped thought, negative emotion from experiences or poor judgments. We dream of many things and these different dreams are categorised. When we dream not all of what we see should be birthed, that’s why context, understanding and wisdom are always needed.

One of the biggest enemies of dreams are FAILURE. Failure  produces disappointment, which zaps our emotions and sends us into a mental spiral. Before you know it fear, depression, anxiety and stress start knocking on your door asking to be let in and if enough disappointment is in you, you will let them in.

Unsuccessful attempts or non-performance due to not even trying can turn our dreams into nightmares. That which once captivated our hearts and brought life now bring pain and death. The failure to accomplish a dream can leave a person deprived. We lose our joy and life begins to leak from within us.

Sometimes we can find strength to pick the dream up and start again. We start revving the engine and as we are about to pull off another hit befalls our dream. Just like a boxer in the ring when caught off guard, we are hit by an unforeseen blow. This blow strikes at our very core. After finding the faith and courage to try and accomplish what first did not work out, takes its toll more than it did the first time. Even after this more knocks can come to the same dream, desire.

After a certain amount of knock backs, just like the boxer in the ring, we get to the point of K.O. We struggle to uplift the dream. We become fearful of trying again. This time we may have no fight left. The battle to just pick up this dream again is too much for us, never mind actually giving life to it.

Failure is a very common human problem. It hits our mind through our circumstances and once it takes root it begins to pick away at our hearts.

Some people allow failure to strengthen them and they find the energy to keep pursuing their dreams. Whatever comes against them does not seem to phase them, it only makes them stronger. Unfortunately many of us do not and we give them up.

It is hard to break through to a failed mindset as the impact of the unmet desires can crush a person’s heart. When you believe and pursue something with all you have and it does not work out, it is a painful experience of which we do not always want to re-live. Dreams only seem make believe as any attempt to achieve them becomes thwarted. It is the same for if we do not even let our dreams take flight due to other people, situations or even our own unbelief.

An antidote for failure is HOPE.

When your dreams have been met with nothing but opposition then it can be hard to dream again. To believe and step out again can be very challenging. Today choose to re-question your thoughts of failure.

Close your eyes and dare to dream again. Dare to believe again. Find the strength to give your dream another go. Don’t let fantasy steal your reality if you know it is achievable.

Let the right relationships fuel you with encouragement and support. Let the Internet be your oyster and find all the help and advice you can. Refuse to give up on your dream.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12

 

Don’t Frustrate Another Man’s Grace

Grace is defined as ‘the freely given, unmerited favour and love of God’. Another definition coined by Pastor James for grace whilst I attended FGC-UK 2015 was “a steady current of God’s power. Undeserved, unearned and unmerited.”

Grace has two faces; forgiveness and correction. We tend to consume ourselves in reverence and awe of God’s unlimited forgiveness and eternal mercies through his love for us. We say confess, repent (turn from) your old ways and God will forgive you, which he will (1 John 1:9).

However we tend to forget that our actions have consequences. Yes Jesus Christ came to take away our sins, many scriptures throughout the Bible support this. We can continually admit our wrongs and God gives us grace to outwork the sin habits we have endured since the beginning (Psalm 51:5). We do not want to be seen as frustrating the grace of God (Galatians 2:11-21). God WILL deal with the behaviours and attitudes within us that do not reflect him.

Throughout the history of man, from creation we have turned from God to look another way. Time and time again we read stories seeing God’s love and forgiveness but we never look beyond it. We somehow miss the part where God dealt with mans corrupt nature even though he forgave them.

Genesis 2:15-17 is God’s instruction to Adam to not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Genesis 3 speaks of Adam and Eve disobeying this instruction and sin (doing wrong against God) entering into all humanity. Verses 7-19 speak of the CONSEQUENCES of disobeying what God had said. Verses 21-24 show that God put them out of the original place where he dwelt with them.

God forgave man, he loved man, he was gracious towards man but God still corrected man. God is a just God, a God of order and justice. He disciplines those he loves (Proverbs 3:12).

After Moses led the people out of Egypt, they complained and eventually worshipped a golden calf. Exodus 32 tells of this story and yet again, even after Moses pleaded with God on behalf of the people, God still punished their behaviour (verses 33-35).

I could go back and forth with this from the Bible. Noah and the flood, Jonah and the people of Nineveh, Sodom and Gomorrah; the list is endless. God always sent someone to warn people of what would happen if they did not truly repent when you look through the Old Testament.

Nehemiah 9:28-31 (NLT);

“But as soon as they were at peace, your people again committed evil in your sight, and once more you let their enemies conquer them. Yet whenever your people turned and cried to you again for help, you listened once more from heaven. In your wonderful mercy, you rescued them many times! “You warned them to return to your Law, but they became proud and obstinate and disobeyed your commands. They did not follow your regulations, by which people will find life if only they obey. They stubbornly turned their backs on you and refused to listen. In your love, you were patient with them for many years. You sent your Spirit, who warned them through the prophets. But still they wouldn’t listen! So once again you allowed the peoples of the land to conquer them. 31 But in your great mercy, you did not destroy them completely or abandon them forever. What a gracious and merciful God you are!

God continually forgives and loves man but he never condones sin. He never accepts the wrong behaviour of people. It is not his nature. When people do wrong, he addresses it and then moves on.

My question to you is WHY DO WE CONDONE RATHER THAN CHALLENGE PEOPLE’S WRONG BEHAVIOURS AND ATTITUDES WHEN GOD DOESN’T? Whether you follow Christianity or not, this question can still be asked in society.

Not only did God warn people in the Old Testament about changing, this theme carried through to Jesus in the New Testament.

John 8:1-11 is the story where Jesus saves the prostitute from being stoned. In verse 11 Jesus tells the woman to go but SIN NO MORE. Again just like the Old Testament, he doesn’t condone her actions.

Jesus always corrected people wherever he went. He would teach in the synagogues and throughout the lands whilst also performing miracles. When he did not agree with people’s behaviours he challenged them, in particular the Pharisees. When people’s natures turned the temple into something it was never meant to be, Jesus became angry and yet again did not condone their actions (John 2:13-16).

Again I ask you WHY DO WE CONDONE RATHER THAN CHALLENGE PEOPLE’S WRONG BEHAVIOURS AND ATTITUDES WHEN GOD DOESN’T? Jesus did not condone it either.

Luke 17:1-4 (The Message);

He said to his disciples, “Hard trials and temptations are bound to come, but too bad for whoever brings them on! Better to wear a millstone necklace and take a swim in the deep blue sea than give even one of these dear little ones a hard time! “Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ forgive him.”

 Matthew 7:12 says that we should do things to people what we want done to ourselves. Did you know that you could also frustrate one man’s grace to another?

In order to frustrate a person you must make their plans or efforts to become worthless or of no avail. To disappoint or thwart them. Other words for ‘thwart’ are baffle, confuse, cramp, double cross, obstruct, prevent, restrain, hold up, and upset.

If we can frustrate God’s grace by never truly repenting, letting the Holy Spirit change us then how can we not frustrate man’s grace? We are partakers in God’s grace (Philippians 1:7).

God does not put up with our bad behaviours and attitudes. He says he will hand us over to them if we do not change (Romans 1:28).

So why should we accept it? Why should we use the fruits of the spirit out of context in order to be nice and super-spiritual when the Bible clearly says that we should address it? Paul was one of the people in the New Testament that would write letters to the churches and individuals, not only encouraging them but also correcting them where needed.

We are to have the fruits of the Spirit but still operate in the dimension of love when correcting others or being corrected ourselves (Galatians 6:1). The Holy Spirit helps us by giving us the strength we need. He helps us when we are to make allowances for one another (Colossians 3:13). The Holy Spirit does not condone it. This does not mean we will not grow weary or tired of purposeful or ignorant unchanged behaviours and attitudes within each other.

Jesus tells us to be in the world, not of it (Romans 12:2), we are not like the world because he is not like the world (John 17:16). So why do we allow it?

This does not mean that we go around exploiting, judging and speaking out of term people’s business; there is a time and place for how we are to deal with things (Ecclesiastes 3). We need wisdom (James 1:5) for how to deal with situations, knowing if we are to say something and if so, when and where. Prayer and timing is key. I do not believe that we are supposed to stay silent and accept what God does not accept.

Matthew 18:12-17 & James 5:13-18 gives us tips on how to deal with these situations. It is important that we carry the nature of God inside of us. We forgive but never condone sin habits from an unchanged internal nature.

Lets think about how we respond to one another, in love but also correcting each other to continue in the life God truly has for us.

People who accept discipline are on the pathway to life,
    but those who ignore correction will go astray. (Proverbs 10:17)

What Is LIVING In Your Head?

Your mind is a vast specimen and an approved force to be reckoned with however in an unwholesome stage it can be your worst nightmare. Take a few minutes to watch the below clip from the series Criminal Minds (season 10 episode 11– The Forever People).

The above clip is solely my driven purpose for this blog post as I am not here to talk about this episode in its entirety.

Jennifer Jareau, known as JJ suffered traumatic and unforeseen abuse at the hands of her ex- overseas colleague, Tivon Askari, whilst working a case. JJ again became a victim of those which her and the team imprison. She suffered not only mental but also physical torture which triggered the loss of her unborn child; forever leaving her scarred.

After the death of Tivon, one year later she is forced to face the anniversary of the event. Every thought and emotion made its presence known and began to manifest like water given to plants. Just like the rest of humanity JJ is no exception to the constant battle of the mind. Even after one year JJ was under the assumption that she had dealt with the situation, which to us in our terms means “I thought I was over it?”.

For one whole year JJ functioned in her ability as a mum, wife and BAU agent. Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually she had dealt with very little concerning what had happened. We know this as the above clip speaks of JJ’s unconscious mind.

JJ’s dialogue makes for interesting discussion. Her behaviour started speaking which showed a change in her character. Something has shifted in JJ. Her speech, confidence and actions exhibited her non-verbal dialogue. The real conversation was between JJ and her unconscious mind, that which was internally speaking to her.

Tivon Askari

Your unconscious mind is very much alive. We go through different situations and circumstances of which we most times have no control over. The deciding factor of rising above or sinking beneath are the decisions we internally make which determine our actions. The only problem is that we forget to CHECK our unconscious mind.

By definition alone the word unconscious means without awareness, cognition or sensation. The processes in the mind that take place automatically and not given a reflection period. Our thought processes, memories, motivations, etc. The unconscious and its processes exist under the surface and impact our behaviour. Academic research studies have suggested that the unconscious includes repressed feelings, automatic skills, subliminal perceptions, thoughts, habits, automatic reactions and possibly hidden phobias and desires. Some processes expressed in dreams, slips of the tongue and jokes.

Dealing with that which is under the surface is a very important part of growing as a person. When a part of you is revealed and this is enlightened unto you, you have a responsibility and an accountability to do something about it. However as the unconscious deals with under the surface, it HAS to be revealed. Sometimes people are used to show us what we are really made of then at other times we can see our own reflections based upon how we respond to that which happens to us. Yes there is always help but we also have a part to play. JJ’s response was to function at home and work but what she really needed to do was face the monster in her unconscious mind.

Dr Reid addressing JJ’s behaviour

Rather than looking under our skin we can sometimes become efficient. Using what we have in order to just pass by in life rather than sacrificing ourselves to the fullest in order to be all we can be. We hide in the functioning of everyday life when in reality we are unaware of the damage we are doing to ourselves because we are not dealing with what we are really thinking, feeling and going through which is internally taking its toll. Regardless of how much we divorce ourselves from reality we  will never deal with what is under our surface until we face it for ourselves. We all have our own individual ways of dealing with things but what is really living in our minds? What is your unconscious mind saying to you?

The mental processing taking place in our mind is what needs to be daily re-evaluated and challenged. Whether this be our religious belief systems, our dealings with people, how we talk or act towards ourselves and others, our values, our jobs, our personal confidence and self esteem, our relationships with our neighbours, family and friends; the list goes on. We really need to check all our repressed feelings, automatic skills, subliminal perceptions, thoughts, habits, automatic reactions, hidden phobias and desires. We need to see what is going on inside of us. Even the Bible tells us to examine ourselves (1Corinthians 11:28) and look at yourself to change you before being quick to judge others (Matthew 7:5).

My proposal to you today and even unto myself is for us conduct an individual check-up on ourselves; our hearts, feelings and MIND. Yes there is more to our minds than the unconscious but we need to see what is living in it as it is that which has the potential to make or break us. Whether you turn to people for wise counsel or prayer, something needs to be done with the living elements in our minds. Do not be ignorant, deceived or not willing to deal with yourself.

Let’s find and take this journey. There will be times when we really do not like, want to see or even believe what is really underneath but I can assure you that taking and sticking with the best process is a lifetime commitment and will be beneficial. We are merely responding to what can be a great time of change and transformation.