Living Out of the Past

For quite a while now I have had this image of a large, square shaped, medium-brown shaded suitcase on a bed. Inside the suitcase are neatly folded clothes which are being taken out by someone. What came to me with this image were the words, ‘living out of the past’.

The clothes in the suitcase simply represented our issues, situations, and circumstances from the past, the suitcase represented our future, and the process of closing the case and carrying it to our destination represented our present.

With this image in mind, I simply have one question for you: What are you carrying in your present from your past that you shouldn’t be?

Sometimes our past (gone by, elapsed in time, having existed in or having occurred during a time previous to the present,) can hinder (to cause delay, interruption, difficulty in) our future. It is important that we go back and deal with our past, and deal with it well, as we cannot afford to take it into our future.

In order to deal with your past you have to understand and know what exactly you are doing. You have to be able to see it and accept it for what it is. Don’t hide from it, but face it. For Christians, this is walking with the Holy Spirit (Spirit of God) and asking Him to help you deal with your past; He is your helper (John 16:7, John 14:26). Otherwise, you might seek out wise counsel; the right counsel, and speak to those who can truly help and show you the right way. Those that can point you in the right direction. The past isn’t something you just hack into with no wisdom. You must be wise and strong.

Professor X helped Wolverine deal with his past

However, what stood out to me the most about the suitcase was the neatly folded clothes. Sometimes our past; our experiences, can be so damaging that rather than dealing with them, we neatly box them (hold onto them and everything associated with them) and carry them in our present; ultimately into our futures. We choose to keep the baggage rather than let it go.

Can you image what it is like to put these clothes (our past) back on?

Can you imagine wearing your past constantly?

What does this look like for you?

We choose to love the pain rather than drain it from our systems. Sometimes it is easier to live with it than deal with it, BUT this isn’t the way forward to living in life. Holding onto the past can be very dangerous. Over a large life-span, rather than living for the future, you are dying for the past.

Make the decision to deal with your past today. Whether it be journalling your emotions, praying, seeking wise counsel from another; begin the process. As hard as it can be, don’t die to your future because of your past. Find the courage to look back and NEVER stay there. Learn from it; never continually grieve (distress mentally, sorrow) in it. Don’t put your past back on.

With What Measure Do You Judge?

Interesting question isn’t it? You’re probably wondering where I am going with this, and I can surely say it’s not the route of judgment you may initially think of… it’s simply a question of perspective.

The word judge means ‘a person who decides the results of a competition, a person able or qualified to give an opinion on something, or to form an opinion or conclusion about’. At some point in our lives we all become a judge, whether this be of a person, situation or circumstance; etc, we all form an opinion (a view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge) about something or someone. However, what I want to pose to you today is whether you judge based upon truth or subjectivity?

If something is true then it is ‘real or in accordance with fact or reality‘. Whereas, to be subjective is to be ‘based on or influenced by personal feelings, tastes, or opinions; or, dependent on the mind or on an individual’s perception of its existence’. When applied to judging things, this can mean that your truth and opinion can become opposites of one another if not aligned together accurately. When you ponder this for a moment; let it really sink in, it can actually be quite dangerous.

What does this have to do with perspective? Well, how you see (physically, spiritually and mentally discern; assess, find out, recognise) can change your measure of judgment. We usually define the word measure in terms of mathematics by giving a size, amount or degree to something. This is correct, but now I want you to apply this to everything and everyone you judge… again, things become interesting.

Give it a try… think of something or someone and apply what I just said above. What are your thoughts now saying? What is your heart pouring out? What are the emotions suggesting? Has the importance, effect, or value of that thing or someone changed? Have you made a comparison, and if so is this true or subjective? What did you measure that thing or person by? Have you assessed and concluded this for yourself, or are you dependent upon a past experience, emotion, or view and speech of another? Things have changed right?

This is not meant to condemn (guilty, punishment, sentence, disapprove) you, but IT IS meant to challenge you. We have to make sure we base our judgments upon truth and not subjectivity. Sometimes our opinions or what we have heard from others can be warped, partial, deceived, or even wrong. We need to measure for ourselves, and make sure it is based upon truth.

Then He said to them, “Pay attention to what you hear. By your own standard of measurement [that is, to the extent that you study spiritual truth and apply godly wisdom] it will be measured to you [and you will be given even greater ability to respond]—and more will be given to you besides.

Mark 4:24 (The Amplified version).

As a Christian, the Word of God (the Bible) is our measuring stick (2Peter 1:3, 2Timothy 3:16-17, Acts 17:11). We are taught to test things (1John 4:1, Ephesians 4:14), and study (2Timothy 2:15), so this should be what we use to measure and judge by. The problem can be in our perspective.

As humans; oftentimes, we are given or shown something and we have our own vision, thoughts, and opinions of how it should be or look like. In Isaiah 55:8, the Lord says that his thoughts and ways are not ours. This is why we must measure by truth and not subjectivity. In my pastor’s (Pastor Michael DaCosta) message titled ‘Preparing For The Harvest’ he said something very key when put into context of this blog post.

‘It’s a sad thing when we destroy our own harvest by our own actions. – Michael DaCosta’

If our judgment is not based on truth, then we can be at risk of destroying what is ours. We need to ask God to clean our hearts, and renew our spirits and minds (Psalm 51:10, Romans 12:2, Ephesians 4:23). We need to stop, think, and pray before responding.

Even if you do not believe, follow God, or follow another religion; etc, you must be able to see the principle at hand here? If we do not see correctly, then how can we be sure that what we are doing and how we are doing it is correct? We must know that we must build and establish something on truth and not myth, gossip, or rumour.

I pledge you to think about how you measure your judgments – truth or subjectivity? Again, this is not a condemning post, it is a thought-provoking ‘change your mind‘ message that is purposed to change your life; becoming better.

Man’s Masks

I don’t know whether you have seen it or not, but there is an episode called ‘The Haunted Mask‘, in R. L Stine’s  collection; Goosebumps.

When this was turned into a television series, I used to watch this episode several times as a child. To summarise the story, it is halloween and everyone is going trick or treating. Carly Beth is looking for a mask, but cannot find one she loves. She goes to a certain mask shop and sees a room full of them, but the shopkeeper forbids selling these specific masks. She steals the scariest mask and wears it. Over time, the mask becomes harder to take off. She, literally, bonds with the mask; changing who she is.

Here lies my interest… one simple question I ask you… What Mask Do You Wear? As a society constantly split between two choices, two decisions; two ways, at what point do we pick up masks that are not who we really are?

As Carly Beth put on the mask, she took on a new persona; a new personality. She became mean and had evil intents in her mind and heart. Her nature began to change. Masks conceal who we are, both in a good (but not the long run, in order to show us something better ) and bad way.

Humanity has many masks, but I will only name a few. Do you hide under the mask of pride, thinking you know it all and are not willing or open to hear any other truths? Is it the mask of fear, completely stopping you from achieving any goal or moving forward? Is it the mask of low self esteem, hiding internally because of not being sure of how you will be perceived or are uncertain of things? Maybe it’s the mask of rejection, thinking inaccurately based upon a feeling and doing things in order to be accepted by a particular people or person? Others include rage, frustration, anger, lust, being two faced, envy, jealousy, etc… there are many!

People either ignorantly walk in masks, having acquired them over the years for various reasons, or choose to put them on. Either way, as there is a mask on, we will ultimately manifest and walk in it.  They first affect our mind, infiltrating into our heart and then we begin to physically manifest them.

Sometimes life puts masks on you and other times people put masks on you through their behaviours or words, either way we wear masks. Things aren’t all bad and we can be real… WE HAVE A CHOICE OF WHETHER WE WEAR A MASK OR NOT.

Carly Beth came to a point of internal conflict. How she used to be, a good and sweet girl, she could not see that this side of her turned evil with the mask on. Spiderman in the film Spiderman 3 also realised that his nice nature changed when he wore the black Venom suite. Carly Beth and Spiderman are in the same boat of wearing something that is not really them.

This is where there is hope and it is found in ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Acknowledgement is simply recognition (identify something seen, heard, known, etc) of the existence or of the truth of something (Dictionary.com). Truth is a fact or a reality that someone/thing becomes conformed to (Dictionary.com).

Carly Beth acknowledged THE TRUTH that this mean nature was not her, but it was actually the mask she wore. Spiderman acknowledged THE TRUTH when he saw that the proud and unapologetic behaviour and speech he manifested was not him; but the suite he wore. They acknowledged their masks with truth. They also acknowledged that this wasn’t who they wanted to be. This is key because this will determine whether you choose to lay down your mask or not.

When we acknowledge truth the process of taking off the mask can be painful. We are naked but we dare not be ashamed. It is hard to peel off the years of masks, the residue they leave can be scary but IT CAN BE DONE over time and the cost of going through the process to remove them is worth it.

We MUST present ourselves with truth daily. We must acknowledge and depict the thoughts in our minds, the intents of our hearts and the sound released from our mouths. The only way you break free from any mask is first to acknowledge it and then daily choose to put it down. Find truth and stick to it. Walk with those who walk in truth too. Sometimes it can be hard to see and accept truth, especially when we ourselves are exposed, but we must in order to not be deceived.

Carly Beth returned to who she really was. Spiderman became who he originally was. They had to deal with the consequences of the masks, but they were ultimately restored to their original natures. Just like any rehab treatment or recovery process, it will take time but with the right help and company of people, the only mask we wear is who we were originally created to be.

Relaying this to us today, will we choose to become who we really are or will we continue to put on man’s masks? You have a choice.

I leave you with a simple thought. To paraphrase Stasi and John Eldredge, we are always becoming something and God is concerned with what we are becoming. Ask yourself if who you are is REALLY who you are…

Title Without Character

WHO we are is a powerful statement. How we act, think and feel speak of who we are as a people. They narrate our character.

In life we are on our individual journeys of BECOMING who we are as people. Whether this be spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, in our careers and jobs, tastes of music, education, etc, we are in a process. Our characters are forming.

We can become in danger of wanting things but not developing the character that will allow us to sustain that which we want. Simba from The Lion King is a great example of this.

Simba was the son of King Mufasa, and was the next rightful heir to the throne.  He was very sure of himself knowing that he was born into royalty, he knew who his father was, and he knew that one day he would be king and rule over the other lions and the lands.

At this point in time Simba was only a child, maturity had not yet kindled itself within him. He acted how he thought.

Simba had what we would call in today’s society, an under-developed character. Due to what he knew, he thought that his present tense character was enough to sustain him as king.

Even though he was destined to be king, he had not yet formed the character necessary to be a good king. He wanted the title but didn’t have the character.

A title is something descriptive or distinctive that belongs to someone. Simba’s title was king, but for us it could be marriage, business, a relationship, car, house, job/ new job, head of a department, career, education, money, etc.

When we put character to title within this context, it changes everything.

Definition of character: The aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.

Simba was always destined to be king, that was never going to change. However, he had to go through a process to develop his character.

He had to change his mind so that his true character could be formed. We have to move from a knowing, into being.

The rest of the film shows how Simba’s character changed before he finally became the king he was meant to be.

If he did not go through the necessary process then he never would of developed the character that allowed him to be a good king.

We, as a people, are no different to Simba. No matter who we are or what we do, we MUST develop good character. We must go through training that will shape our characters, so that no matter where we are WE KNOW WHO WE ARE.

We must always be developing our characters. These traits and features we have will then sustain us in what we do. Our values, standards, attitude, and vision cannot be tinted because our character has been forged in the fire.

Character development cannot be cheated. Your external will always show your internal. If good character is not there then it will eventually show.

Having a title or being given a title, in the context stated earlier,  and developing good character alongside it is fine. The problem is being given or wanting titles and not developing good character.

Do not cheat yourself out of the character process. When you go through things, see the process of character through it.

There is no use in having a great future if your character does not match it.

Do not forfeit your character or take on a title with a premature character. We must check ourselves, our characters to see what we are being made of. Development is key.

Nature Changes Everything

My final blog post of 2015 will continue on the journey into  character. A reoccurring thought has trapped my mind over the last few days, the thought of ‘the nature of someone or something can change everything.’ A great example of this can be seen through Jason Gideon.

Mandy Patinkin played Jason Gideon, a criminal profiler and Senior Supervisory agent of the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit in the U.S. Police procedural crime series Criminal Minds.

Gideon spent many years training to be a profiler and was one of the best. His knowledge partnered with experience allowed him to be a great asset to the BAU, but as cases went on something inside of Gideon began to change.

During the ‘Boston Shrapnel Bomber’ case, Gideon sent six men into a warehouse which the bomber detonated. Gideon was criticised for his decisions and the handling of the case. He suffered a breakdown, taking six months medical leave suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Upon his return he was Senior Agent with Aaron Hotchner as Unit Chief.

If you have ever watched the show, you will know that the nature of the job is very pressing on every aspect of the agents lives and demands much from them.

After Gideon returned and continued working several trying cases, something had changed. Gideon was no longer mentally and emotionally who he was before. Adding to this he ascended into further emotional turmoil when close friend and love interest, Sarah Jacobs, was killed by an unsub because Gideon would not let him continue to kill people. These events led to Gideon resigning from the BAU.

Gideon’s job cost him the woman he loved and because of this Gideon walked away. He had failed to protect his heart. As he failed to protect his heart, he also lost some of the battle in his mind, hence him leaving his job at the BAU. Things were not how they used to be, somehow they became more personal. Gideon became infected emotionally, physically and mentally. His heart grew weary and his vision became dull.

“I just don’t understand any of it anymore”- Jason Gideon

How much more different are we from Gideon? Life hands out different dealings to each of us. Some we bring upon ourselves and are the consequences of our decisions or actions, whilst others are completely out of our control. Our emotional, physical, mental and spiritual selves are infected.

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life- Proverbs 4:23 (New Living Translation)

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect- Romans 12:1-2 (New American Standard version)

Ephesians 6:10-20 

When we fail to protect or guard ourselves, we become infected. What infects you? What causes you to turn over inside? What causes your nature to change? Do you change for better or for worse? Work, religion, family and friends, beliefs, values, society, media, emotions, thoughts, health, wealth, traditions, cultures; an endless list.

Impacts from these and other things also change our perspective. Our vision becomes distorted. Gideon was a great profiler, of which we saw in series 10 when Gideon was hot on the trail of an unsub even though he had left the BAU. Being a profiler was still inside of Gideon but somewhere down the line what he had gone through he allowed to change his nature.

“I guess I’m just looking for it again. For the belief I had back in college. The belief I had when I first met Sarah and it all seemed so right. The belief in happy endings” – Jason Gideon

Gideon had to find hope again before he could move forward. Going into the new year, most people make new year resolutions. We set new challenges, orders, goals and structures in our lives with a deadline. I charge you with this menacing thought for 2016; WHAT WILL I ALLOW TO CHANGE MY NATURE THIS YEAR?

We must protect our hearts, minds, souls and spirits from internal and external circumstances, as well as their impact on us. Really take time out to see who you really are as a person. What is your nature saying? What changes or is changing your nature? Renew things which need to be renewed and let go of things that are not good for you.

I end again with this, ‘the nature of someone or something can change everything.’

Quotes about character

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.”
― August Wilson

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
― John Wooden

“Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think it is and the tree is the real thing.”
― Abraham Lincoln

“People do not seem to realise that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When you choose your friends, don’t be short-changed by choosing personality over character.”
― W. Somerset Maugham

“Character is doing what you don’t want to do but know you should do.”
― Joyce Meyer

“One’s character is set at an early age. The choices you make now will affect you for the rest of your life. I hate to see you swim out so far you can’t swim back.”
― Wendelin Van Draanen, Flipped

“Choices determine character.”
― Brandon Mull, Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary

“We cannot live better than in seeking to become better.”
― Socrates

 

Your Character Speaks For You

“Features and traits that form the individual nature of a person or thing.”

The above is a definition of the word ‘character’. Whether we like it or not, or whether it is noticed or not, our character speaks for us.

Matthew 15:11 It is not what goes into the mouth that makes a person unclean. It is what comes out of the mouth that makes a person unclean. (International Standard Version)

From the above scripture we can see the principle of character relating to the inner state of a person, not only speech. It speaks of what we are made of, what is on the inside of us.

Character is quality, the essence of who we are. When I refer to the term ‘speak’, I do not mean this in the form of audible speech (which it can mean) but I am referring to the manifested fruit of ones actions and behaviours. Our speech of course is important as we do need to think about what we say, how we say it (related scriptures on our speech), but my concern in this post is our actions and behaviours.

Actions speak louder than words

Matthew 7:16 You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? (New Living Translation)

Life impacts everyone differently. Situations bring out both the best and worst of us. However the underlying factor that separates individuals characters is what a person allows to be formed within them. It is this forming of traits and features that is important and should be reflected upon.

Like the farmer who sows seeds in soil for need of a good harvest, we must check what the seeds (features and traits) are before sowing them (allowing them to become part of us) as well as the soil (our hearts, minds, bodies, etc) that they are becoming part of.

What traits and features are you becoming? What have you become already? These could be jealousy, envy, hate, love, compassion, musical taste, rejection, religious beliefs, values, addictions, drugs, alcohol, smoking, laziness, political views, cultural traditions, etc; there are many of which are unlisted here. Traits and features are what make you YOU. These questions must be asked to yourself.

I once heard someone say that whether we grow or not, we are becoming something. That God is interested in what we are becoming. I am pretty sure this was Stasi Eldredge but cannot be 100%.

Speech alone is not enough to carry you through life.  Actions and speech walk hand in hand, hence the saying “you can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?”

We must accustom our speech AND behaviours. Speech can go before us but most times behaviour does because of what we think or how we feel and act. At times we do not need to say anything for something or someone to experience something from us. This can be seen also in first impressions. Hypocrisy has been a well known giant in society.

John Maxwell in his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, speaks about The Law of the Lid (an individual’s effectiveness has a say on their leadership and potential). We cannot talk something that we do not walk.

If what we say has truly become us then it will be manifested, good or bad. We must change speech but also our actions & behaviours.

I have this one question for you, WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER SAYING ABOUT YOU?

Reflect upon the quality of your character, both internally and externally. John 1:14 states that the Word (Jesus) became flesh (human). What type of flesh (quality in this regards) has your character become or is becoming? What’s the production of your character?

We seek only to be the best we can be but at what cost?

Mark 8:36 What good does it do for people to win the whole world yet lose their lives? (God’s Word Translation)