Internally Shutter-boxed

Man can sometimes mirror machine. Not only has he the ability to function all day and night; sub-sectioning a vast intake whilst constantly re-charging but he also has the capacity to ‘break down’. Human nature has a way of dismissing that which it does not wish to face. Anything that causes internal conflict or outer uncomfortability can cause us to run like prey as if it were conscious of its predator.

Our life is the arena and we are the centre stage of it. All activity concerning us is present in the centre whilst spectators have their active or passive input. Our mind, will and emotions (soul), heart, spirit and physical being are all part of this centre which is affected by the activities of everyday life.

Situations and circumstances (activities of life) trailed alongside their outcomes form us as a people. Their affects shape and help build us into the people who we become and are today. These outcomes can have vibrant or fatal affects on us. We manifest the outcomes our situations and circumstances internally have on us. How we handle the outcomes begin to flow from us. They manifest behaviours and attitudes.

Our arenas; education, religion, work, economy and finance, politics, relationships- love/ family/ friends, culture and other avenues become infected . The exterior gives insight into the interior. How we handle decisions and choices, confusion, beliefs and doubts, unmet desires, frustrations and anger, discouragement, violence and abuse, etc is key to our internal selves.

At any given time or age these impacts on our heart, soul and physical selves still make us prone to the ability to shut ‘ones-self’ down. Today’s society is no better than the ancestors that have lived  before us and those yet to be birthed in a distant future. Even Adam and Eve hid once they had disobeyed God’s instructions (Genesis 3). Life and its hand dealings still have their impact on us.

The problem occurs when we internalise the problems by not handling them well or maybe not at all. We section off the parts we do not want to face. They become little stacker boxes or locked up crates with keys that can only be found in a treasure hunt. Some shut whilst others open. Internally we can hide in every corner or dark valley available to us that allows us to find shade rather than the light we need. We become masters of masquerading rather than transparent beings.

When we begin to shut down internally rather than be honest and face our Goliath’s (giants or mountains) we have a major problem. Not only will we become distant from our real selves but we begin to die inside.

Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee” (King James Version).

Regardless of religion or culture the above scriptural principle applies. Whatever you think you are, you become. The only way of outgrowing what we become is in changing our thoughts and emotions through our decisions from the impacts of life. We become better or worse people based on the internal attitude and what we have been told of who we are and who we internally choose to be, leading to our external manifested self.

Life is different for every person, some worse than others but all still damaging in a way to that particular individual, which I think we all can agree on. The best advice is that regardless of what has happened, seek help. Whether it be through religion or counsel; never internally shut down or get addicted to something that will numb the pain of an internal bleed. Do not internally box yourself up into compartments and write on them the wounds of what happened. Dealing with every box is beneficial, hard but beneficial to you being ALIVE internally.

We think that because everything looks ok on the outside that all is fine but if the inside of a man is not living then he is walking dead.

Proverbs 4:23 reading from the New Living Translation version of the Bible reads “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life”.

Your heart is central to who you are. When you stop living from it you begin to feel its affects. Life throws some wicked curve balls at us but we can choose to face them and their percussions or internally shutter box; functioning with the lights off. Find a way to not shut down internally but face who you are becoming or have become internally.

 

 

Sing For Me…

The Phantom of the opera is there, inside my mind…. sing, sing my angel of music…. arrr——- sing for me… arrr—— sing for me… arrr—— sing for me… arrr—— sing for me.

The above quote are lyrics taken from the spectacular musical performance of Andrew Lloyd Webber‘s ‘Phantom of the Opera‘ at the Royal Albert Hall for the shows 25th anniversary. What captivated me about these words were the separately sung lines “sing for me” by the five phantoms (John Owen Jones, Ramin Karimloo, Anthony Warlow, Colm Wilkinson and Peter Joback).

Each phantom in reality took it in terms to say the line to show the changing faces of the phantoms through the years but let’s put a whole new spin on this… let’s go all mental. In reality there is only one phantom but what this scene shows if we look at it mentally is that there are many voices. Without going too deep just think back to one event, one moment when you have decided to do something or even been in a situation where your mind has come to realms of exploding because there are many different voices speaking.

Arrr—– sing for me… arrr—— sing for me… arrr—— sing for me… arrr—— sing for me.

There is only ONE true voice, only ONE real voice; the others are not.

I recently read Elijah’s story in the Bible when he was threatened by Jezebel and he basically legged it (1Kings 17-19). For those who are or are not familiar with it, in chapter 19 Elijah goes to Mount Sinai and spends the night in a cave. God calls to him asking him what is he doing there and Elijah repeats the same statement summarising he is he only one (a true prophet of God) left and that people are out to kill him like they did the others. So later on in that same chapter there was a major windstorm followed by an earthquake and then a fire. After the fire there was a silent whispher. Does this sound familiar?

You make a decision, there’s soo much drama and thoughts that it is hard to find the right answer. You are planning something and your mind becomes really creative that you have so many thoughts you do not know which idea to use or start with. You read, listen to or watch something and you want to know more but because there are so many different sources and stories you have no idea which one is real or not. Then sometimes you just follow a bubble and believe what you want to believe and pursue it, however it does not always mean it is right.

Arrr—– sing for me… arrr—— sing for me… arrr—— sing for me… arrr—— sing for me.

Just like Christine (the female lead from Phantom of the Opera), you hear many voices that are not real. The “arrr—–” representing you are asking all the questions, finding out things, etc but the “sing for me” representing the many ‘other’ voices you hear allowing you not to be able to hear or think properly, confusion and no mental decision made strong.

A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. James 1:8 (King James version).

Even if you do not follow the Bible, this scripture still stands as truth. Let me out it like this, have you ever asked an indecisive person to make a decision? They can not make a decision as they do not stand strong on any one thing. Have you ever made a decision then heard something else and all of a sudden you become confused? You did not solidly stand on your decision otherwise you would not of become confused. See, the scripture still stands as when you are double minded, you can’t stand as there is no solid decision or action made.

This is what makes Elijah’s story great as he couldn’t stand because the same thing he believed was now tested. Where he once stood strong in being a prophet of the real God and speaking against those who were not had become the man who now is running. However after the winds, earthquakes and fire there was a ‘GENTLE WHISPHER‘. With everything else going on, there was still a moment of truth and peace. It is like when they say the eye of the storm is the calmest part. This is the sound we are looking for, the gentle whispher in sound after the storm- in the stress, in the depression, in the suicidal thoughts, in the lust, in the evil thinking… that gentle whispher which is the RIGHT voice. The voice of reasoning, conviction, right morale and TRUTH.

This is the crazy part, finding the gentle whispher/ eye IN the storm. With everything that is going on around us, all the murders, all the lies, all the depression, etc… we can only look to seek the truth and find those who have REAL truth. Whether you know God or not, seeking real truth will bring a peace to your storm.

³¹ Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed;

³² And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. John 8 (King James version).

The above scripture says Jesus is the truth and his word (the truth) will set you free. I know that many people do not believe in God or Jesus and come from many different belief systems and religions; however I plea you to find real truth in your lives and not to be caught tangled in the ‘other’ voices. Just because you hear a voice it does not mean it is right and you should follow it. This can lead to very damaging consequences in life.