Title Without Character

WHO we are is a powerful statement. How we act, think and feel speak of who we are as a people. They narrate our character.

In life we are on our individual journeys of BECOMING who we are as people. Whether this be spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, in our careers and jobs, tastes of music, education, etc, we are in a process. Our characters are forming.

We can become in danger of wanting things but not developing the character that will allow us to sustain that which we want. Simba from The Lion King is a great example of this.

Simba was the son of King Mufasa, and was the next rightful heir to the throne.  He was very sure of himself knowing that he was born into royalty, he knew who his father was, and he knew that one day he would be king and rule over the other lions and the lands.

At this point in time Simba was only a child, maturity had not yet kindled itself within him. He acted how he thought.

Simba had what we would call in today’s society, an under-developed character. Due to what he knew, he thought that his present tense character was enough to sustain him as king.

Even though he was destined to be king, he had not yet formed the character necessary to be a good king. He wanted the title but didn’t have the character.

A title is something descriptive or distinctive that belongs to someone. Simba’s title was king, but for us it could be marriage, business, a relationship, car, house, job/ new job, head of a department, career, education, money, etc.

When we put character to title within this context, it changes everything.

Definition of character: The aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.

Simba was always destined to be king, that was never going to change. However, he had to go through a process to develop his character.

He had to change his mind so that his true character could be formed. We have to move from a knowing, into being.

The rest of the film shows how Simba’s character changed before he finally became the king he was meant to be.

If he did not go through the necessary process then he never would of developed the character that allowed him to be a good king.

We, as a people, are no different to Simba. No matter who we are or what we do, we MUST develop good character. We must go through training that will shape our characters, so that no matter where we are WE KNOW WHO WE ARE.

We must always be developing our characters. These traits and features we have will then sustain us in what we do. Our values, standards, attitude, and vision cannot be tinted because our character has been forged in the fire.

Character development cannot be cheated. Your external will always show your internal. If good character is not there then it will eventually show.

Having a title or being given a title, in the context stated earlier,  and developing good character alongside it is fine. The problem is being given or wanting titles and not developing good character.

Do not cheat yourself out of the character process. When you go through things, see the process of character through it.

There is no use in having a great future if your character does not match it.

Do not forfeit your character or take on a title with a premature character. We must check ourselves, our characters to see what we are being made of. Development is key.

A Split Being

Humanity is known for its talent of hiding. We have learned the art of contouring, blending life’s situations and circumstances with our identities. Rather than seeking out the true nature of ourselves from the battles in life we have or may face, we can sometimes become lost in the very apparel of the scars life leaves behind.

These scars take on all forms, shapes and sizes. They come from all walks of life. We attain them as children and carry them our entire adult lives. We can either walk with our scars as healed people showing where we have come from or colour in our wounds to match our exterior but as soon as they are touched they bleed crimson red. The second type of walking with the scar can also be translated as ‘unresolved issues’. Those things that we think we are over but really there is another ‘person’ inside us who is warring to break out. We let our mask master us rather than us reigning over our mask.

Unresolved issues are like any other problem in life. They eventually come to the surface. You can not hide from yourself because sooner or later you will catch your reflection and have to face yourself.

Some of you may or may not remember a TV series titled ‘Heroes‘.  A set of stories about ordinary everyday people who discover they have superhuman abilities. These abilities bring them altogether for an ultimate purpose. Each character had their own story to tell along the battle field of good vs evil. However the character I would like us to get acquainted with is Niki Sanders.

One part of a triplet with the ability of enhanced strength at birth, adopted by the Sanders family which went on to form a great bond with her sister Jessica. Unfortunately her adoptive father was abusive creating circumstances which led to the death of her sister Jessica and a repressed mind state in which Niki developed a split personality.

Jessica & Niki Sanders

Niki had a family, a whole new life from the one she had once known. Niki’s abusive past created an alter ego which named itself as her sister Jessica. After many years she was once again faced with her father which conjured many different thoughts and emotions of her past. Jessica came to surface and protected Niki. As the doorway had been opened Jessica became more aggressive and powerful. Jessica could not be controlled by anyone, not even Niki. Niki did everything she could to suppress Jessica, she even took tablets as Jessica would leave for a while but when Niki had to face herself again Jessica would always come back.

The matter at hand here was Niki’s ‘unresolved issues’. Her mind had not faced the demons of her past which allowed an access point for an alter ego. Rather than going through the healing process her mind repressed everything she had experienced. Niki became two people, she was a split being.

Unresolved issues are an internal matter. When someone hurts us, if we don’t forgive or anything else for that matter, it creates a hard heart and we begin to feel the affects internally. This could be from simply thinking about a situation or person as well as seeing them or being put in a situation which has caused a scar. Our journey in life allows us to go through many different things. Some things we can handle and get over whilst others may be a bit of a struggle. It is very important to be honest with yourself and face the part of you that you are hiding from.

Some people have experienced what only we would say is inhumane justice in this world. Their stories tell of only darkness with which there is no light. This makes things harder as the battle has been so intense. However as John and Stasi Eldredge have taught me that you are always becoming someone or something no matter whether you are doing something or not. That God is interested in who you are becoming because you are becoming something. By dealing with your under the surface problems you are looking to become the true you but my burying them you are becoming something you are not.

Niki knew that she was not Jessica but Niki needed help in order to get rid of Jessica. When we do not deal with unresolved issues within us that which is not of us becomes stronger. Just like when Venom could take over Spiderman (see my blog post titled Resisting Venom) because he was being unforgiving and Jessica took over Niki; unresolved issues make us someone we are not.

We all need help in order to get rid of the shadows of who we become due to life’s situations and circumstances. The whole point of life is for us to be our selves to the best of life’s ability. We all struggle with the common human error of hiding but at what cost do we become someone else? Are our personal unresolved issues really worth us becoming something we are not?

We are better to face the pain than let the pain become our face internally. Being yourself is more precious and important than masquerading in a mask far from your real complexion.

 

 

 

Internally Shutter-boxed

Man can sometimes mirror machine. Not only has he the ability to function all day and night; sub-sectioning a vast intake whilst constantly re-charging but he also has the capacity to ‘break down’. Human nature has a way of dismissing that which it does not wish to face. Anything that causes internal conflict or outer uncomfortability can cause us to run like prey as if it were conscious of its predator.

Our life is the arena and we are the centre stage of it. All activity concerning us is present in the centre whilst spectators have their active or passive input. Our mind, will and emotions (soul), heart, spirit and physical being are all part of this centre which is affected by the activities of everyday life.

Situations and circumstances (activities of life) trailed alongside their outcomes form us as a people. Their affects shape and help build us into the people who we become and are today. These outcomes can have vibrant or fatal affects on us. We manifest the outcomes our situations and circumstances internally have on us. How we handle the outcomes begin to flow from us. They manifest behaviours and attitudes.

Our arenas; education, religion, work, economy and finance, politics, relationships- love/ family/ friends, culture and other avenues become infected . The exterior gives insight into the interior. How we handle decisions and choices, confusion, beliefs and doubts, unmet desires, frustrations and anger, discouragement, violence and abuse, etc is key to our internal selves.

At any given time or age these impacts on our heart, soul and physical selves still make us prone to the ability to shut ‘ones-self’ down. Today’s society is no better than the ancestors that have lived  before us and those yet to be birthed in a distant future. Even Adam and Eve hid once they had disobeyed God’s instructions (Genesis 3). Life and its hand dealings still have their impact on us.

The problem occurs when we internalise the problems by not handling them well or maybe not at all. We section off the parts we do not want to face. They become little stacker boxes or locked up crates with keys that can only be found in a treasure hunt. Some shut whilst others open. Internally we can hide in every corner or dark valley available to us that allows us to find shade rather than the light we need. We become masters of masquerading rather than transparent beings.

When we begin to shut down internally rather than be honest and face our Goliath’s (giants or mountains) we have a major problem. Not only will we become distant from our real selves but we begin to die inside.

Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee” (King James Version).

Regardless of religion or culture the above scriptural principle applies. Whatever you think you are, you become. The only way of outgrowing what we become is in changing our thoughts and emotions through our decisions from the impacts of life. We become better or worse people based on the internal attitude and what we have been told of who we are and who we internally choose to be, leading to our external manifested self.

Life is different for every person, some worse than others but all still damaging in a way to that particular individual, which I think we all can agree on. The best advice is that regardless of what has happened, seek help. Whether it be through religion or counsel; never internally shut down or get addicted to something that will numb the pain of an internal bleed. Do not internally box yourself up into compartments and write on them the wounds of what happened. Dealing with every box is beneficial, hard but beneficial to you being ALIVE internally.

We think that because everything looks ok on the outside that all is fine but if the inside of a man is not living then he is walking dead.

Proverbs 4:23 reading from the New Living Translation version of the Bible reads “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life”.

Your heart is central to who you are. When you stop living from it you begin to feel its affects. Life throws some wicked curve balls at us but we can choose to face them and their percussions or internally shutter box; functioning with the lights off. Find a way to not shut down internally but face who you are becoming or have become internally.

 

 

Is My World Real?

The realm of reality and fantasy are very tainted in today’s world. What is real we cannot or do not want to accept and what is fictional feels so real that we sometimes become greatly entangled and lost in its false reality.

Recently at work I was able to assess the film ‘Shutter Island‘. I have watched this film several times and thoroughly enjoyed it but after assessing it at work it created a new line of mental thought processing for me.  I saw the film in a new light, the truth about DECEPTION.

Due to a traumatic past event, Teddy Daniels (played by actor Leonardo DiCaprio), created an alternative reality in which acted as a coping mechanism to help him suppress what had really happened. He had a new identity and story (life), both of which completely overshadowed what really was. Without giving too much away and to keep focus, this fantasy lasted for two years; his own personal lie became his reality.

If we pause for a minute and really digest those last two sentences we would really see how dangerous deception really is. It took several psychiatrists, doctors and nurses to break the deception Teddy had built for himself in his mind. Everything he once knew had become nothing but a caged memory. The fortress of deception mentally told Teddy that his lie was real because Teddy was unable to come to terms and deal with the truth. Can you imagine that, an event traumatises you so severely that you create a lie so real that you really believe it? I must admit that I find that really scary. The line between reality and fantasy completely disappearing is a scary thought.

Shutter Island is just a film but the story it portrays is very real. We can sometimes get so caught up in a lie, in make-believe that we lose sight of what is real. Living in a lie is so much easier than facing the truth. The longer we stay asleep in the lie the harder it becomes to wake up to the truth. However as the film progresses we see that those who helped Teddy were able to ‘wake him up’. Just a side thought here, Teddy was dreaming for two years, imagine how it would be if it were longer?

Neo from ‘The Matrix‘ woke up because the world he was living in was not real to him anymore; there was something more. However when faced with the truth even he had to make choice to stay awake (reality) or go back to sleep (the lie).

The Matrix- Blue pill or Red pill

In order to stay awake we must choose to accept the truth; not part of it but all of it. Once we have accepted the truth we must face it; the situations, person(s), emotions or circumstances in order to find healing and freedom. The most important part that most of us forget is that we must fill the hole in our hearts and minds where the lie once lived. There not only has to be truth accepted and renewed on a daily basis in our lives but there must also be hope; a hope of something new or better than that which previously was.

The journey and fight to stay in truth is a constant battle. The lie will always try to creep back in; especially when we are progressing or in the middle of the process of recovery. We must find genuine hope, strength, vision as well as want, face and accept truth on a daily basis during this process.

If we do not face and walk through what we need to on this recovery journey then we will be in danger of returning to the lie that once captivated and moulded us into that which is not real.

 

 

Resisting Venom

Spiderman 3 is one of the best movies you will ever watch, Spidey fan or no Spidey fan; you’ll like it. Not only does Marvel take you on a journey of a masked figurine fighting to keep the streets clean and rid the city of its somewhat un-natural menacing villains but also on a lesson of unforgiveness.

We have all been introduced to the ungodly beauty of unforgiveness, the bitter sister of truth. Unforgiveness is like a human’s moral high ground, the little thing in life we can control all on our own; the decision to forgive a person of their wrongs or hold it against them due to its impact on us as individuals or even sometimes with-held information we may or may not have. Venom is a beautiful demonstration of unforgiveness.

We all, if not most of us, know the introduction of the Venom character in the Spiderman 3 movie. Peter Parker has rejected the healing process of dealing with the death of his uncle. When we refuse to get delivered and healed from things of the past they eventually grow within us; unforgiveness in the case of Peter Parker. To avoid too much of a spoiler alert for those who have not seen this movie, we see Peter Parker’s heartache and pain directly affect his alter ego side, Spiderman. Peter’s unforgiveness opened up a portal for Venom in Spiderman’s life.

Venom from Spiderman

Venom is a liquid life form from another planet which requires a host to bond with in order to survive. Venom is pretty much humanities symbol of unforgiveness. Unforgiveness acts as a substance in which requires a person’s permission in order for it to survive and reproduce; reproduce its ugly family of hate, bitterness, resentment, rage, anger… basically anything that kills life. The longer you hold onto it, the shorter life becomes.

Peter Parker’s unforgiveness and refusal to find out the complete truth and receive healing allowed Venom to survive. The ugly family of unforgiveness allowed Peter to feel somewhat control and justification to act out all cruel emotions. Unforgiveness never produces or allows you to produce anything good, it is incapable of producing life; only death. Peter Parker enjoyed feeling everything that forgiveness would not dare allow him to feel, to think everything that forgiveness would not allow him to think; even act. Forgiveness justifies you acting on the wrongs of others because of hurt.

Unforgiveness even changes physical appearance, a person’s countenance. Spiderman’s suit turned black from red. Life with unforgiveness is fun but short. You can act, think, feel and treat anything and anyone without any regard and take great satisfaction in it, not truly knowing you are its slave and it controls you, not you it.

Sometimes we may be ignorant to the fact that we carry unforgiveness and should check ourselves for anything in our life if need be but if we are not ignorant of it, we have a problem.

Unforgiveness only needs to find one root issue, the problem is we have many. Once it finds one root, it finds others. Unforgiveness becomes stronger and stronger because it finds other roots and creates other roots. Peter was angry not only with his uncle’s death but also his friend Harry Osborn, Mary Jane his on/off girlfriend, work and work colleagues, etc. Unforgiveness had a field day with Peter Parker. All it took was one trigger, one gate and bam there it goes.

Unforgiveness in Peter eventually re-attacked Mary Jane, on purpose. However this was Peter’s wake up call. He realised truth; Venom was not helping him or Spiderman but actually killing them.

There is a time and place for everything. The season of unforgiveness was now over for Peter Parker. He had to get rid of Venom by choosing to forgive.

Healing must take place after deliverance. Forgiving not only those who wronged you but those who you wronged and forgiving yourself. Peter Parker and Spiderman turned back into what he was before unforgiveness took over his life; his true self.

My point is that regardless of the pain, trouble, heart ache, rage and anger fuelled emotions and hate people put you through and can often make you become; choose to forgive them. Don’t let Venom aka unforgiveness take your life and kill you. Resist Venom.

Also checkout the movie Hannibal Rising for a great lesson on Unforgiveness. All monsters come from somewhere.

 

God Is A lot Like Forrest Gump

This is not really a blog post per say like my others but really just a thought for the day. This thought came to my mind suddenly and I wish to share it with you. Before everyone starts wondering where I am going with comparing God to Forrest Gump just give me a moment and let me show you what I mean.

This film is about a good hearted but slow man, Forrest Gump, who sits on a bench and shares his life story in which he has seemed to have embarked upon, being personally involved with most major events in history during the last half of the 20th Century.

Revelations 3:20

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. (English Standard Version)

The above scripture simply implies that God is waiting to come into a persons life, he is waiting for them to open up their heart and life to him so he can come in and be with that person. The seat next to Forrest Gump was always empty and once filled he shared his life with them, a lot like God does when he is invited into someone’s life. When we meet with God it is like no other encounter or communication that we have ever had or experienced before. He graciously shares all with us. Everything about himself, his Word (the Bible) and life itself. We become enlightened and gain understanding of things that we never knew before, we start life again as if we have just taken our first breath of life again.

God is a lot like Forrest Gump because he is always there, waiting for us; he never leaves. God is not mentally or physically like Forrest Gump and does not have the exact same stories but their characteristics are the same. Forrest Gump never leaves the bench until his story is finished, he keeps speaking regardless of who is sitting on the bench. God is the same; waiting for us to come to him so he can share his story with us and ours with him, no matter who we are (Acts 10:34-35). He wants to share every little detail and build an intimate eternal relationship with us individually.

Psalm 91: 14-16

Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him. I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honour him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.

John 3:16

For this is how God loved the world: He gave his unique Son so that everyone who believes in him might not be lost but have eternal life. (International Standard Version).

It is great to hear others testimonies and personal experiences with God. It is great to hear people tell you about Jesus and what he did for all humanity (died on the cross to take away all the sins- wrong doings- of humanity and resurrected on the third day. Allowing man to return back to God by relationship through Jesus). God clearly loves us and always has regardless of what we have done, do and will do. We can not just hear about God from others, we must know him for ourselves. We must have our own personal revelation of what he did for us and who he is to us. The best part of this is that he wants to share himself with us. He wants to tell us about himself, he wants to tell us his story.

Man (universal context) disappoints and lets each other down. God is the opposite, he is always there because that is who he is, it is his nature; character.

Joshua 1:5

There shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life: as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. (King James Version)

Sometimes we all need to be reminded that God is not like man and that he never leaves us. Our situations and the world around us may make us feel like God is nowhere to be seen but just like Forrest Gump never stops sharing his story, neither does God; his arms are wide open.

Luke 15:11-32

Then he said, there was once a man who had two sons. The younger said to his father, ‘Father, I want right now what’s coming to me.’So the father divided the property between them. It wasn’t long before the younger son packed his bags and left for a distant country. There, undisciplined and dissipated, he wasted everything he had. After he had gone through all his money, there was a bad famine all through that country and he began to hurt. He signed on with a citizen there who assigned him to his fields to slop the pigs. He was so hungry he would have eaten the corncobs in the pig slop, but no one would give him any. That brought him to his senses. He said, ‘All those farmhands working for my father sit down to three meals a day, and here I am starving to death. I’m going back to my father. I’ll say to him, Father, I’ve sinned against God, I’ve sinned before you; I don’t deserve to be called your son. Take me on as a hired hand.’ He got right up and went home to his father. When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: ‘Father, I’ve sinned against God, I’ve sinned before you; I don’t deserve to be called your son ever again. But the father wasn’t listening. He was calling to the servants, ‘Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We’re going to feast! We’re going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!’ And they began to have a wonderful time. All this time his older son was out in the field. When the day’s work was done he came in. As he approached the house, he heard the music and dancing. Calling over one of the houseboys, he asked what was going on. He told him, ‘Your brother came home. Your father has ordered a feast—barbecued beef!—because he has him home safe and sound. The older brother stalked off in an angry sulk and refused to join in. His father came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t listen. The son said, ‘Look how many years I’ve stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast!. His father said, ‘Son, you don’t understand. You’re with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours—but this is a wonderful time, and we had to celebrate. This brother of yours was dead, and he’s alive! He was lost, and he’s found!. (The Message Version).

Be encouraged and regardless of whether you know God or not that he is there, you just have to reach out or as in Forrest Gump; just sit on the bench and there he will be waiting for you and ready to share his story with you through his son Jesus.