Spiritual Dysmorphia

My mind has been running its usual mental marathon, trying to think of a simple analogy to describe an internal spiritual  condition of humanity.

Between 4-5AM of Monday morning, the answer finally came to me… Body Dysmorphia. Random right? However, for the purposes of this blog post I will be using this to describe what I am talking about.

Body Dysmorphia (BDD) is “an anxiety disorder that causes a person to have a distorted view of how they look and to spend a lot of time worrying about their appearance.” – NHS definition.

It consists of distressing thoughts about the self (body image) that do not go away. They become negative and are very impactful on an individual’s daily life. A person suffering from it believes they are ugly or defective in some way, and believe other people perceive them the same way. It is very focussed on the ‘external,’ but from an internal perspective.

It is no respecter of persons; affecting both males and females of different ages. It affects many people all over the world and is often hidden by those who struggle with it. More info.

Even though this blog post is not about BDD, this was the answer I was given. I was thinking to myself “why would Body Dysmorphia be the answer I am looking for to describe an internal concept?” The image that followed that question was a woman standing in front of a mirror, and her reflection looking back was very warped.

What Do You See?

I want you to consider something from a spiritual perspective. When using the word ‘spiritual,’ in this context I am referring to something “relating to or affecting the human spirit or soul, as opposed to material or physical things.” – Google definition. I am referring to the internal, not the external.

BDD causes an ugly image to be reflected back, when in reality the true image is different. This is where I flip the script. If we reverse BDD to a spiritual point of view (focussing on the warped reflection looking back – seeing the inside and ignoring the outside), my question to you is: IS THE UGLY, DEFORMED, WARPED PERSON IN YOUR REFLECTION REALLY YOU? This is something I have coined as Spiritual Dysmorphia.

Rather than automatically saying “no” because the outside looks fine, and you may be functioning well – everything is going good for you; no problems or you don’t sense or see any, really have a long look at the warped reflection. Bless God if it’s not true, but the problem is WHEN IT IS TRUE.

Your reflection in this context is who you are as a person: what you do, what you don’t do, your attitude (way of thinking) towards yourself and others, your behaviour in terms of how you treat yourself and others, how you generally think about things, your words and thoughts; etc. Spiritual Dysmorphia is all about the internal; what physically cannot be seen but internally exists under the surface.

Another way to think of Spiritual Dysmorphia is through the Disney Character ‘Beast‘ from Beauty and the Beast.

The Beast

The Beast was externally beautiful but internally ugly: his nature and character were horrible, his heart and mind were ugly too. He was cursed by becoming as ugly externally as he was internally.

“Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.” – Mark 7:15 (New International Version).

“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.” – Proverbs 27:19 (New Living Translation).

What is inside of you will eventually leak out. Spiritual Dysmorphia asks you to look at the true state of your internal nature and character. It asks you to check the state and condition of your heart. What is really going on in your spirit and soul? It asks you to question what you are portraying and producing. It requires you to go deeper into the reflection and deal with what it TRULY seen. If left unchecked or sitting in deception, it will crush you, your life and others around you.

Paul from the Bible and Robert Louis Stevenson (author of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde,) are two of my favourite people. They understood the dual nature of humanity – Paul describing it as spirit and flesh (the fight against good and doing what God wants, or bad and doing as ‘me, myself and I’ wants with no care or desire for God as your will is stronger) from a Christian point of view, and Robert describing it as “man is not truly one, but two,” from a novelists’ perspective.

I wanted to highlight this condition as anyone can easily fall into it. There is such a focus on the external when the true issue is our internal nature and character – our heart and mind. What we need to consider is what is really inside us.

It is hard to acknowledge all of ourselves at times, we would like to leave out the bad. But don’t be fooled by believing that you may be ‘all good’ when you may not be, or as Paul would deem as fleshy (acting in your own accord, understanding, will, desires, heart, mind, etc).

Sometimes we can be ignorant to the ugly reflection staring back at us, and sometimes we can be very aware of it. Once revealed to us, we are responsible for what we know and have the chance to change. When we are mature, there is more responsibility and accountability given to us. The problem becomes when we do not seek to change or transform our warped reflection.

“True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.” – Karl Popper.

The Bible speaks a lot about examining yourself (checking yourself). It is important to check yourself for Spiritual Dysmorphia. Praying, reading, observing, reviewing our thoughts, watching your actions and motives – the intents of the heart; etc.

“After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief—we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!” –2Corinthians 2:11 (The Message Version).

Do not think that you can never be untouched by Spiritual Dysmorphia. Ignorance or pride un-noticed is not bliss.

Choose to take a look today and ponder your reflection. The great thing is that there is always an opportunity to change the deformity. Just remember: Your inside is much more important than your outside.

 

 

 

Understanding Magneto

Magneto is one of the most iconic characters in the Marvel franchise. A powerful mutant known for his ability to generate and control magnetic fields, and his firm beliefs and somewhat ‘unorthodox’ methods in enforcing that mutants are evolutionarily superior to humans.

The way in which Magneto handles things have caused us to categorise him as a villain. Can I be bold enough to say that I DO NOT believe Magneto is a villain?

Have we fell into the good vs evil emotional trap in the superhero world again? However wrong his actions may be, Marvel and the film industry have caused me to understand Magneto.

In 2008, Marvel mastermind and creator Stan Lee was interviewed and said he “did not think of Magneto as a bad guy. He just wanted to strike back at the people who were so bigoted and racist… he was trying to defend the mutants, and because society was not treating them fairly he was going to teach society a lesson. He was a danger of course… but I never thought of him as a villain.”

Our perspective of seeing Magneto as a villain is now being challenged. He was never created to be one. So why is he known as a villain?

Just from the above interview segment from Stan Lee alone, we see that we have judged, misunderstood and therefore misinterpreted Magneto. We have viewed an opinion of him based upon his external actions and missed his history and its impact on his heart and person.

Well let me tell you HIS-STORY…

Originally named Max Eisenhardt and born into a German-Jewish family in the late 1920’s. His family survived the Nazi rise to power, the passing of the Nuremberg Laws, and the Kristallnacht. They fled to Poland where captured during the German invasion of Poland, and sent to Warsaw Ghetto. They escaped but were betrayed and re-captured.

His family were executed and buried in a mass grave; only he survived. He escaped but was re-captured and sent to Auschwitz. He was reunited with Magda, who he fell in love with when he was younger and had escaped the prison camp revolt with. They married and settled in Vinnytsia, a west central city in Ukraine, with their daughter Anya. He adopted the name  “Magnus”.

Not really much of a villain thus far is he? A man constantly enslaved, saw his family slaughtered, and constantly on the run from people trying to kill him. Used and abused for his gifts at a young age.

Still believe he is a villain?

In Criminal Minds season 3 episode 10, BAU agent Rossi said, “life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person.” Situations had already began shaping Magneto but the next part of his story is where we see the unfolding and shaping of WHO he has now become.

The three of them lived happy until an angry mob, previously exposed to Magneto’s powers, burned down their home. Anya was still trapped inside, unable to be rescued due to the angry mob. Enraged, Magneto unleashed his powers and in the process killed the mob and destroyed a part of the city.

Magda; scared of his powers, left him and later gave birth to the mutant twins Pietro (Quicksilver) and Wanda (Scarlet Witch) before being presumed dead. Whilst on the run from the authorities and searching for Magda, Magneto took on the identity of Erik Lehnsherr and relocated to Israel. It was here that he met Charles Xavier whilst working at a psychiatric hospital near Haifa.

He lost everything… his heart failed. His entire soul (mind, will and emotions) was torn.

Is Magneto a villain to you now? We are so quick to judge him based upon his actions in how he responds to things, but never look at the reasons WHY. We do this also to people in the real world. Quick to judge their response but do not always attempt to understand or truly see them.

We can also be like Magneto sometimes. People and situations in our lives cause us to react in different ways. According to the history of Magneto, one could say he is accountable or only truly guilty of;

1. Responding inaccurately.
2. Letting people and situations infect him and make him worse.
3. Un-forgiveness and vengeance.
4. Stubbornness
5.  Pride

This is because of never dealing with, and truly getting over the scars of his past. If anything, Magneto is a wounded, hurting man. How different are we at times?

Professor Charles Xavier was the opposite, he had his own mutant struggles and a much more healthier upbringing. He and Magneto debated the consequences humanity faced with the rise of mutants. Charles believed that humans did not understand mutants and that mutants must show humans a different way. Magneto disagreed because of everything humans had cost him.

Charles had the ability to see Magneto, to understand him.

He was one of very few people who understood and believed that with a little help, Magneto could change. That Magneto could use his past to better his future. The fullness of his powers came from his pain and re-focussing it.

Charles saw Magneto for who he was; faults and all. He acknowledged and accepted both the good and bad inside of Magneto. He did not deny any part of Magneto as a person.

It was because of his ability to do this that he could reach Magneto. He allowed Magneto to see something different, being reason for Magneto’s battles between being a villain, anti hero and superhero. He occasionally was an ally and member of the X-Men at times also.

Xavier knew how to walk with people, he did this with Magneto. Not just in word but in action. Regardless of who Magneto chose to be, he still tried to reach Magneto with an open heart and mind believing Magneto could change.

Even though Magneto chooses to not forgive humans, Xavier chooses to keep trying to help him see a different way; a better way. He wants to change his perspective; his heart. He can only do this through understanding and accepting Magneto for all he is.

However, Charles knows that he himself must still battle against Magneto otherwise there would be no humans left. It is great expecting change but you must not diverse from your own personal walk, path and purpose. Charles still had to correct and challenge Magneto on what he was doing in the present, even though he believed he could change. He saw Magneto’s future but also acknowledged the corruption of Magneto’s present because of his unwillingness and hardships in letting go and forgiving his past.

We need to look beyond the external actions of people and see the heart; see inside them. This does not mean we accept and agree with their responses all the time but we understand what has happened on the inside of them, and are willing to walk them through or with them through the scars. We still need to correct and possibly even rebuke; but still love. Showing them grace until healing and deliverance (freedom) from their wounds come.

Magneto does not need to prove that mutants are better than humans, he does not need to try and turn humans into mutants, he does not need to destroy humans… I don’t agree with his actions in the slightest but I understand why he does what he does. He is accountable for whom he chooses to be.

Hearts must be taken into consideration because if they’re not, you’ll lose that person. We do not justify or highlight what they do, but we must see and acknowledge what is happening on their inside rather than judging from external actions.

 

 

 

Your Character Speaks For You

“Features and traits that form the individual nature of a person or thing.”

The above is a definition of the word ‘character’. Whether we like it or not, or whether it is noticed or not, our character speaks for us.

Matthew 15:11 It is not what goes into the mouth that makes a person unclean. It is what comes out of the mouth that makes a person unclean. (International Standard Version)

From the above scripture we can see the principle of character relating to the inner state of a person, not only speech. It speaks of what we are made of, what is on the inside of us.

Character is quality, the essence of who we are. When I refer to the term ‘speak’, I do not mean this in the form of audible speech (which it can mean) but I am referring to the manifested fruit of ones actions and behaviours. Our speech of course is important as we do need to think about what we say, how we say it (related scriptures on our speech), but my concern in this post is our actions and behaviours.

Actions speak louder than words

Matthew 7:16 You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? (New Living Translation)

Life impacts everyone differently. Situations bring out both the best and worst of us. However the underlying factor that separates individuals characters is what a person allows to be formed within them. It is this forming of traits and features that is important and should be reflected upon.

Like the farmer who sows seeds in soil for need of a good harvest, we must check what the seeds (features and traits) are before sowing them (allowing them to become part of us) as well as the soil (our hearts, minds, bodies, etc) that they are becoming part of.

What traits and features are you becoming? What have you become already? These could be jealousy, envy, hate, love, compassion, musical taste, rejection, religious beliefs, values, addictions, drugs, alcohol, smoking, laziness, political views, cultural traditions, etc; there are many of which are unlisted here. Traits and features are what make you YOU. These questions must be asked to yourself.

I once heard someone say that whether we grow or not, we are becoming something. That God is interested in what we are becoming. I am pretty sure this was Stasi Eldredge but cannot be 100%.

Speech alone is not enough to carry you through life.  Actions and speech walk hand in hand, hence the saying “you can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?”

We must accustom our speech AND behaviours. Speech can go before us but most times behaviour does because of what we think or how we feel and act. At times we do not need to say anything for something or someone to experience something from us. This can be seen also in first impressions. Hypocrisy has been a well known giant in society.

John Maxwell in his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, speaks about The Law of the Lid (an individual’s effectiveness has a say on their leadership and potential). We cannot talk something that we do not walk.

If what we say has truly become us then it will be manifested, good or bad. We must change speech but also our actions & behaviours.

I have this one question for you, WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER SAYING ABOUT YOU?

Reflect upon the quality of your character, both internally and externally. John 1:14 states that the Word (Jesus) became flesh (human). What type of flesh (quality in this regards) has your character become or is becoming? What’s the production of your character?

We seek only to be the best we can be but at what cost?

Mark 8:36 What good does it do for people to win the whole world yet lose their lives? (God’s Word Translation)

Sometimes Only Beauty Can Talk To Your Beast

Disney characters are not my usual choice of subject matter but I must admit that my mind has presently become enchanted by the story of ‘Beauty and the Beast‘.

A witch places a curse upon a handsome Prince turning him into a beast because of the horror of his character. An old man is held captive by the beast due to an accident and his daughter Belle goes on a rescue mission to get her father back but falls into a much bigger adventure; falling in love and releasing the Beast from his curse.

This tale has a happy ending but life does not always grant us such a wish. Although this story is make-believe, it also mirrors human reality.  We are allured into a display of unconditional love. The fierce awakened heart of Belle vs the dead heart of the Beast.

Belle’s beauty not only entices the natural eye but is also within. Beauty is defined in the dictionary as;

The quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, colour, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

It is a personality and character trait, not just an external mark. Belle’s internal beauty not only accepts but unrestrictedly loves. The bravery of her heart pours out love and life to the Beast who is cold and uninviting in nature.

What I love about both characters other than their vast differences is their need for each other. Life must meet with death.

Life can cause us to become like the Beast; ugly. Part of our nature, our character turns wild in order to cope with how we have handled life. We can become cold on the inside whilst operating as normal in society. Externally we have it all going on but internally we are or have died.

We can bring the term ‘living dead’ to life, physically alive but internally sleeping.  The Beast was as fine as can be. He operated in all his powers and duties as Prince but a part of him was quite dead on the inside.

The thought came to me recently that we all need beauty in our lives. Pure and true love brings forth a deeper beauty that outshines its external counterpart. The kind of love that melts hearts and is not destructive or lustful. Belle’s warm heart and loving nature freed an enslaved Prince from his cruel and selfish nature. We all need a nature in life that causes us to become better.

This can be seen in the relationship of Phoebe and Cole in the TV series Charmed. Cole is a half human/ half demon (Belthazor) sent to kill Phoebe and her sisters who are witches. Cole falls in love with Phoebe and it is this love that not only saves Phoebe and her sisters but also Cole. The beauty of love from Phoebe takes over and helps the beast inside Cole.

 

Again this happens  in the film Dracula: Untold. In order to protect his kingdom Prince Vlad becomes a monster (vampire). When the beast inside of him becomes stronger it is his wife who calms the beast through love by reminding him of who he really is.

These examples show beauty and love through the vessel of a woman but I want us to look beyond gender and see that the real beauty is expressed through their internal nature. This beauty within them and a ‘knowing’ of who they are paves way for unconditional love, continuous persistence and strength to accept those they love. Out of this strength a hope and grace is released which empowers them to walk alongside a beast nature until the original nature comes back.

Sometimes it is hard to talk to a beast but love can break through. On our good and bad days we can all become like the Hulk. Kind words, encouragement, wise counsel and advice; anything that awakens us inside is important. Not a quick fix pill but a character and nature that transforms us into who we really are.

The beast transformed back into the Prince but had changed his nature. Cole eventually lost Phoebe due to his dark side and lived in regret, never losing or forgetting his love for her. A battle caused Prince Vlad to lose his wife and he became a monster for eternity.

We always have a choice in the matter of who we become. We cannot control life circumstances or guarantee our endings but we can choose who we are. We must allow beauty to transform us when presented with it in its true form, accept true love. Finding this is a process but your journey with true beauty and love must begin.

 

 

Internally Shutter-boxed

Man can sometimes mirror machine. Not only has he the ability to function all day and night; sub-sectioning a vast intake whilst constantly re-charging but he also has the capacity to ‘break down’. Human nature has a way of dismissing that which it does not wish to face. Anything that causes internal conflict or outer uncomfortability can cause us to run like prey as if it were conscious of its predator.

Our life is the arena and we are the centre stage of it. All activity concerning us is present in the centre whilst spectators have their active or passive input. Our mind, will and emotions (soul), heart, spirit and physical being are all part of this centre which is affected by the activities of everyday life.

Situations and circumstances (activities of life) trailed alongside their outcomes form us as a people. Their affects shape and help build us into the people who we become and are today. These outcomes can have vibrant or fatal affects on us. We manifest the outcomes our situations and circumstances internally have on us. How we handle the outcomes begin to flow from us. They manifest behaviours and attitudes.

Our arenas; education, religion, work, economy and finance, politics, relationships- love/ family/ friends, culture and other avenues become infected . The exterior gives insight into the interior. How we handle decisions and choices, confusion, beliefs and doubts, unmet desires, frustrations and anger, discouragement, violence and abuse, etc is key to our internal selves.

At any given time or age these impacts on our heart, soul and physical selves still make us prone to the ability to shut ‘ones-self’ down. Today’s society is no better than the ancestors that have lived  before us and those yet to be birthed in a distant future. Even Adam and Eve hid once they had disobeyed God’s instructions (Genesis 3). Life and its hand dealings still have their impact on us.

The problem occurs when we internalise the problems by not handling them well or maybe not at all. We section off the parts we do not want to face. They become little stacker boxes or locked up crates with keys that can only be found in a treasure hunt. Some shut whilst others open. Internally we can hide in every corner or dark valley available to us that allows us to find shade rather than the light we need. We become masters of masquerading rather than transparent beings.

When we begin to shut down internally rather than be honest and face our Goliath’s (giants or mountains) we have a major problem. Not only will we become distant from our real selves but we begin to die inside.

Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee” (King James Version).

Regardless of religion or culture the above scriptural principle applies. Whatever you think you are, you become. The only way of outgrowing what we become is in changing our thoughts and emotions through our decisions from the impacts of life. We become better or worse people based on the internal attitude and what we have been told of who we are and who we internally choose to be, leading to our external manifested self.

Life is different for every person, some worse than others but all still damaging in a way to that particular individual, which I think we all can agree on. The best advice is that regardless of what has happened, seek help. Whether it be through religion or counsel; never internally shut down or get addicted to something that will numb the pain of an internal bleed. Do not internally box yourself up into compartments and write on them the wounds of what happened. Dealing with every box is beneficial, hard but beneficial to you being ALIVE internally.

We think that because everything looks ok on the outside that all is fine but if the inside of a man is not living then he is walking dead.

Proverbs 4:23 reading from the New Living Translation version of the Bible reads “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life”.

Your heart is central to who you are. When you stop living from it you begin to feel its affects. Life throws some wicked curve balls at us but we can choose to face them and their percussions or internally shutter box; functioning with the lights off. Find a way to not shut down internally but face who you are becoming or have become internally.