Living Out of the Past

For quite a while now I have had this image of a large, square shaped, medium-brown shaded suitcase on a bed. Inside the suitcase are neatly folded clothes which are being taken out by someone. What came to me with this image were the words, ‘living out of the past’.

The clothes in the suitcase simply represented our issues, situations, and circumstances from the past, the suitcase represented our future, and the process of closing the case and carrying it to our destination represented our present.

With this image in mind, I simply have one question for you: What are you carrying in your present from your past that you shouldn’t be?

Sometimes our past (gone by, elapsed in time, having existed in or having occurred during a time previous to the present,) can hinder (to cause delay, interruption, difficulty in) our future. It is important that we go back and deal with our past, and deal with it well, as we cannot afford to take it into our future.

In order to deal with your past you have to understand and know what exactly you are doing. You have to be able to see it and accept it for what it is. Don’t hide from it, but face it. For Christians, this is walking with the Holy Spirit (Spirit of God) and asking Him to help you deal with your past; He is your helper (John 16:7, John 14:26). Otherwise, you might seek out wise counsel; the right counsel, and speak to those who can truly help and show you the right way. Those that can point you in the right direction. The past isn’t something you just hack into with no wisdom. You must be wise and strong.

Professor X helped Wolverine deal with his past

However, what stood out to me the most about the suitcase was the neatly folded clothes. Sometimes our past; our experiences, can be so damaging that rather than dealing with them, we neatly box them (hold onto them and everything associated with them) and carry them in our present; ultimately into our futures. We choose to keep the baggage rather than let it go.

Can you image what it is like to put these clothes (our past) back on?

Can you imagine wearing your past constantly?

What does this look like for you?

We choose to love the pain rather than drain it from our systems. Sometimes it is easier to live with it than deal with it, BUT this isn’t the way forward to living in life. Holding onto the past can be very dangerous. Over a large life-span, rather than living for the future, you are dying for the past.

Make the decision to deal with your past today. Whether it be journalling your emotions, praying, seeking wise counsel from another; begin the process. As hard as it can be, don’t die to your future because of your past. Find the courage to look back and NEVER stay there. Learn from it; never continually grieve (distress mentally, sorrow) in it. Don’t put your past back on.

Kong: Skull Island- Skull Perspective

You probably thought this post was about the latest Kong movie – Kong: Skull Island. If you thought this then you were 50 percent correct, as an element of this post is about the film. However, I want to share another element with you of which is the unexpected, untainted and hidden message of PERSPECTIVE – ‘the state of one’s idea, a mental view’ (Dictionary.com). Walk with me…

*** THIS IS NOT A SPOILER ALERT. THIS IS NOT A SPOILER ALERT ***… I hope!

Lieutenant Colonel Preston Packard (played by Samuel L. Jackson) is part of a team of select individuals (including soldiers, scientists and explorers), who venture into the uncharted island of a new found world in the Pacific, finding the domain of Kong and other creatures. When first approaching Kong, Packard and his men attacked him. Kong; obviously, fought back and killed many of Packard’s men. Packard wanted to avenge the deaths of his men by aiming to kill Kong, and also saw Kong as a threat because he was something new; never seen before.

Now this is where the film striked me the most for two reasons:

1. Packard did not acknowledge his own actions (he and his men FIRST attacked Kong, and then Kong responded).
2. Packard did not discern: assess, judge, and conclude (accurately) Kong; the something new.

It’s interesting how a fictional scene can be used to reflect reality, a person’s nature and habits. What I want to pose to you is: HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO SOMETHING NEW? What do you do?

• Do you seek wisdom from God and/ or wise counsel in order to discern: assess, judge and conclude accurately before making a decision that enables you to move in the right direction?
• Do you act dependant upon what you see, think and/ or feel?
• Do you act or maybe not act at all?
• Do you investigate to try and find out more information?
• Do you revert to your default nature and habits by trusting in yourself and what you know/ think you know? Your own judgements and opinions.

Going back to Kong, he’s a massive ape and if real we would probably run for the hills if we are honest with ourselves. Some however, would run to meet the challenge, but some won’t. Kong was something never to have been seen before and sometimes we as humans can be fearful, unsure, or even jealous of things that are new. This could be a specific person or group of people, a situation or circumstance; etc, anything pertaining to or revolving in or around ourselves and life. There may be other reasons amongst these but these are a few to be named. Our perspective of these things is VERY IMPORTANT. What we see and how we see is very key as it leads to how we respond; life or death to us in many ways.

What I love about Kong is that if Packard and his men waited for just a moment; paused and applied the two key points earlier mentioned and challenged their perspectives before responding, then they would have seen that Kong was not the bad guy. They would have seen and knew that this something new was good and would protect them.

Not all new things are good which is why we must discern: assess, judge, and conclude accurately. We must seek wise counsel, ask and walk in wisdom and understanding, and then move in direction. We need to stop and think, ask the questions and get answers before moving forward in our decisions (controlling our actions). Don’t lean on your own understanding – Proverbs 3:5-6.

Kong’s heart was good and was to protect the island and all living things on it, he was protecting them from the real monsters. However, Packard and his men failed to see this because of their perspective of something new. They failed to challenge their perspective and let go of what they knew/ wanted; a failure to see their own actions and to discern: assess, judge and conclude accurately.

Let us challenge our perspectives today to the people and things around us:

• What is good and what is not?
• What do we need to be open to?
• What do we not need to be open to?
• What do we need to reconsider?

Ask questions and get the answers you need. Ask for wisdom and gain understanding before discerning, assessing, judging and concluding. Packard and his men failed to do this and died because of their perspective. Many times we fall short because of what we see and what we think we know. Don’t be like one who walks around in the wilderness and dies as some of the people of Israel did in the Bible (Numbers 26:65, Joshua 5:6, Numbers 32:13, Exodus 16:3, Hebrews 3:7-19,) or die because of lack of understanding (Hosea 4:6).

Choose to follow the necessary process before making decisions. Challenge perspective and walk in a freedom that can be given to you if you need it; just ask (James 1:5, Matthew 7:7-8). Don’t miss out on what could be a blessing in your life.

 

 

 

Becoming A Writer: Perseverance

I haven’t blogged in a while. For over two months to be precise. I haven’t blogged simply because I have reached the writer’s epiphany… shall I continue writing?

I have been a writer for most of my life, within some sort of capacity. Whether it is writing academically in education, as a journalist, a creative writer, editor, or even teaching creative writing, I AM a writer. It is who I am and I have accepted that. This is very important for all us writer’s to accept. Not that we think we are writer’s, but we know that we ARE writer’s. It has to be an absolute conclusion within us. However, this does not make the ‘becoming’ process as a writer any easier.

The word Become is defined as:

‘Begin to be, grow to be, develop into, qualify or be accepted as, be appropriate to someone.’

(Oxford dictionary)

In order to become something, you must first partake in a process. This process is a set of life lessons which include: training, attitude adjustment (mental, physical, emotional and spiritual), perseverance, value making and re-evaluating, networking (events and people), having a statement or personal reason for writing, learning what type of writer you are, what you want and enjoy writing about, how you want to write; basically, a system of different actions and/ or steps that will allow you to achieve a specific goal and / or achievement.

I am 27-years-old, and have been writing since I was 11. I have undergone both industry and academic training- and still doing so, to become a writer. Work placements, theories… you name it, I’m learning it.

The process has been both eye-opening and challenging over the years. Even though I am a writer, my progress has hit the wall of perseverance.

Perseverance is defined as:

‘Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.’

(Dictionary.com)

It is the stage of continuing to press and keep going, regardless of how things are, or look. At this stage a writer can grow in or experience deflation, defeat, discouragement, anger and frustration, and these are just a few to note down.

Writer’s struggle with their own personal demons everyday, as everyone in their profession does, concerning their work.

‘Am I good enough? Is my work good? I am not sure I can do this? Nobody is reading my work. It’s not getting anywhere. Their work is better than mine. This is hard. What’s the point?’

Self doubt upon our identity leaves its cruel mark ingrained on writer’s at times. Constant questions are thrown at us and our work daily. BUT… when the question becomes ‘shall I continue?,‘ any writer is in for trouble as it is a crossroads. The choice could go either way… it could be lethal.

I can’t remember the last time I wrote something and felt true passion or joy. I can’t remember the last time writing infused my bones, causing me to keep writing. I don’t desire sympathy from your part. I simply wish to express the reality of a writer’s mind at times.

I’m running on auto-pilot because it’s my gift. It is something that I was partly created for here on Earth. However, this is merely not enough to keep on writing. And this is how I know that I have reached this question.

This is the stage where I am at in my process… shall I continue? A question only you can ask yourself and find the answer to. No, this does not mean that I have given up. No, this does not mean that I will no longer write or have anything to do with writing. No, this does not mean I am being negative. Can I be real with you, if only for a moment? YES, it means I have become tired.

Mental tiredness mixed with very little manifestation of your gift; given, abused or received, can make any person tired. A tired writer is a writer re-thinking his or her thinking and work… a time of returning back to the drawing board… the original vision.

I have always wrote for one purpose and one purpose only… to challenge the mindset and bring change. But when that purpose is not reaching what you expect it to, you can begin to grow weary. To become weary simply means to be mentally and physically tired (exhausted) by hard work or strain.

Now you see why a writer experiences a variety of emotions at this stage. Each emotion possibly triggering their final decision and choice of whether they continue, or pursue something else.

In order for me to move from this place, I must revisit the vision. I must revisit the purpose birthed inside of me… my writer’s DNA must be refocussed. My mind and strength must be re-evaluated.

Yes I will write. Yes I will edit. Yes I will teach and help others. Just because I am tired, it holds no excuse to stop being who I am… a writer. Perseverance is a steady pace. And this is the pace I have to readjust whilst revisiting the vision.

I must find my origin of writing… my passion. I must find the love of picking up my pen again and bringing the words on the paper alive. I must find that place when I sit on my laptop and fiercely type until my stories dance around me. Operating naturally out of my gift is not enough. I must find the source of my writing… the thing that I have lost. The joy I once had because of my own mindset and what I have let others crush within me. To write is more than a gift, more than something I have learned… IT IS NOW SOMETHING I MUST FULLY BECOME.

Taking a step back and looking at the vision does not make any writer a failure. It allows them to re-build and re-train, coming back with a bigger zeal and passion for the thing that they are… writing.

To those who are weary in the writing process… make 2017 the start of your ‘becoming’ process. The process takes years, even a lifetime. Find the courage to become all that you are… WRITER’S. Immerse yourself in writing. Stay in the writer’s process of becoming. Paint the world with the voice of your words. Make it come alive again. Give it something to hope for again. Become consumed by writing, internally and externally. We writer’s are great storytellers… we cannot afford to lose our voice now. We can’t stop now. Find whatever wall you are facing, and knock it down.

Stay in the writer’s process. Persevere with me and I will persevere with you.

 

 

Come Correct

Like any well oiled machine, we all need maintaining. Regardless of age, religion, culture or race, we seem to have a common issue; CORRECTION.

We live in a society where rebellion, disobedience and lawlessness lives. We don’t always listen, we don’t always follow instruction, we feel we have to have an answer for everything. We don’t like being told what to do, and even shun people who put us on the right path because of this little thing called correction.

Correct means: to set or make true, accurate, or right; remove the errors or faults from, to point out or mark the errors in, to scold, rebuke, or punish in order to improve.

Correction disciplines us (training to act in accordance with rules).

Correction is quite the taboo subject these days. If we are truly honest with ourselves we secretly hate being wrong. That little monster on the inside of us can raise up at the first sign of thinking we know better when we may actually not. That little ounce of pride oozes inside us, which either causes us to run from the truth or take it in order to grow from it.

Correction has two routes in your life dependant upon your attitude (how you think). It will either be your friend and mature you, or you will make it your enemy and eventually self destruct.

A short while back I wrote a post called An Untouchable Nature. It was about having an unbreakable nature, for better or worse.

Correction is the rod that breaks an untouchable nature. Correction re-shapes what can be touched, which is why you must have a teachable spirit/ nature.

You must allow yourself to become pliable. Not only to have the ability to learn or re-learn but to also be able to sustain it, THIS is the growing agent needed for correction to continue throughout your life. You have to be open to being teachable (capable of being instructed).

Responsibility and accountability must be your allies.

Whatever you correct must first be dealt with within yourself.

Matthew 7:3-5: Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

It is so easy to point out another mans fault but the true challenge is to point out your own. I do not mean in terms of self esteem, but in terms of truth.

A man (universal context) will never hear you or take heed of correction from you if he sees the behaviour of that same seed which you are correcting him with, on the inside of you.

You cannot correct what is not corrected inside of yourself first.

Mark 4:24 and Luke 8:18 speak of WATCHING HOW YOU HEAR. If you hear correction and do not take it, you have not heard it but you have listened to it. There is a difference between hearing (to learn by the ear or being told by) and listening (give attention with the ear).

Just because you have heard someone say something it does not mean that you have taken it on board. The difference is the decision we personally make on whether we act or not upon that which we have just heard.

You have to hear what is being said, as to whether you agree or not in truth rather than emotion. This is why you must be teachable as you have to be able to hear what is being said, weigh it up as to whether there is truth in it or not, and then act accordingly mentally, spiritually and physically.

Romans 12:2- And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

We must change the way we think about correction. To be put right, regardless of how we feel, is actually a good thing. It is better to be blessed for having a good character that has been forged by correction in life, than a character that stinks of pride and rebellion.

Why let pride have its perfect way in you? To be wise (having the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right; possessing discernment, judgment, or discretion) is far better than a wounded ego.

We are familiar with the phrase YOLO (you only live once). So why not hear, take on board and make positive changes in a world that needs it.

Proverbs 1: 1-7- To know wisdom and instruction, To discern the sayings of understanding, To receive instruction in wise behaviour, Righteousness, justice and equity; To give prudence to the naive, To the youth knowledge and discretion, A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, To understand a proverb and a figure, The words of the wise and their riddles. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Correction makes a person wise because they learn from situations and circumstances.

Hebrews 12:6 and Revelation 3:19 speak of God correcting those he loves. Why should we on earth be any different?

Don’t be afraid or deluded by not wanting to be corrected. You will be gifted by it in the end.

A Sense of Belonging

Take a minute to watch the below clip.

This was one of KFC’s television adverts in 2015. It was broadcasted, simply illustrating a couple who adopt a child. The boy is shy at first but whilst having a family KFC meal, the father pulls out a chair, inviting the boy to the meal (keep this part in mind for me).

We then see a montage of the boy growing up, and when he is older and goes around to his parents for a KFC meal. He sees another adopted child and pulls out the chair, as his dad did for him.

KFC want to denote that KFC meals bring people together; families together. However my personal meaning signified something else.

What I love about this advert is its pure simplicity in reflecting the principle of ‘belonging.’

As humans, whether we admit it or not, we all want to belong to something. We all long to be part of some story where we can be part of an adventure or an unveiling (as discussed in Stasi and John Eldridge’s book Captivating).

For a person to belong, it means for them ‘to be in the relation of a member, adherent,inhabitant, etc.‘ They are invited and accepted into something that they now become part of. Just like the boy in the KFC, we grow when we KNOW that we are part of something.

Back in 2010, whilst at university one of the conclusions in my dissertation was that young people often join gangs because they are offered a ‘family.’ Take gang affiliation out of the equation, how different is the boy in the KFC advert to this? How different are we?

Feelings are just emotions, they are a part of us. Not always true to their origin or always leading us down the right path, but must be taken into consideration and dealt with.

We find ourselves in two positions:

1. Do we know, and not just feel, that we belong to someone or something?
2. Do we pull out the chair for others?

When people don’t fit a certain criteria or crouch to another persons ways, they are segregated from what they believe they are part of. Society calls them ‘misfits.’

We don’t have the right to exclude others regardless of external or internal states. We were all created with one design but different personalities.

The scary thing about this ‘sense of belonging’ is that if it is not found, it can forfeit a person, turning them into a shadow of who they really are.

Unless you KNOW you are part of something, you will squander your purpose.

Let me explain this by going back to the KFC advert. What would of happened if the dad never pulled out the chair for the boy? The answer is simple… everything we saw in the montage afterwards would never have taken place.

As the boy was adopted, those who he was staying with were not his biological parents. Knowing this, the boy did not know how to respond as he came from a different background.

When we become unsure about someone or something, even in the slightest, we internally and externally move.

By simply pulling out the chair, the boy was invited to their home. He was invited to be their son and part of the family. This caused the boy to catapult, later seeing him graduate and have a family of his own.

At some point in life, we must all belong to something. This sense of belonging pushes past being a mere emotion, but forms a strong belief on the inside of a person.

Sometimes we make good choices, sometimes we make bad choices, or sometimes life makes choices for us.

Hopefully we won’t become a people who stop or hinder others; even ourselves, from belonging to something.

We may not be the same or sometimes have a lot in common, but when people are part of the same clan with the same vision, there is no question that destiny will connect them and give them this sense of belonging.

Once they know who they are and where they belong, just like the boy in the KFC advert, they will grow and unveil into a mighty person. The person they were created to be.

It Is ‘OK’ To Dream Again

Dreams are ‘a succession of images, thoughts or emotions passing through the mind during sleep’. I want to speak about the dreams that are connected to our desires which have either been able to make it to the surface or have been locked away due to circumstances and wounded emotions.

Dreams when made reality awake the soul of a man. You begin to become alive on the inside. This could be the start of your business, your dream job or career, starting your own family, getting married, believing that there is a special person for you to grow old with for the rest of your life, owning your own house or car; the list continues. We are meant to live out those things which bring us to life.

Dreams dependent upon the context of our desires are meant to be lived out. Not all our desires are good or beneficial to us. They can sometimes be a warped thought, negative emotion from experiences or poor judgments. We dream of many things and these different dreams are categorised. When we dream not all of what we see should be birthed, that’s why context, understanding and wisdom are always needed.

One of the biggest enemies of dreams are FAILURE. Failure  produces disappointment, which zaps our emotions and sends us into a mental spiral. Before you know it fear, depression, anxiety and stress start knocking on your door asking to be let in and if enough disappointment is in you, you will let them in.

Unsuccessful attempts or non-performance due to not even trying can turn our dreams into nightmares. That which once captivated our hearts and brought life now bring pain and death. The failure to accomplish a dream can leave a person deprived. We lose our joy and life begins to leak from within us.

Sometimes we can find strength to pick the dream up and start again. We start revving the engine and as we are about to pull off another hit befalls our dream. Just like a boxer in the ring when caught off guard, we are hit by an unforeseen blow. This blow strikes at our very core. After finding the faith and courage to try and accomplish what first did not work out, takes its toll more than it did the first time. Even after this more knocks can come to the same dream, desire.

After a certain amount of knock backs, just like the boxer in the ring, we get to the point of K.O. We struggle to uplift the dream. We become fearful of trying again. This time we may have no fight left. The battle to just pick up this dream again is too much for us, never mind actually giving life to it.

Failure is a very common human problem. It hits our mind through our circumstances and once it takes root it begins to pick away at our hearts.

Some people allow failure to strengthen them and they find the energy to keep pursuing their dreams. Whatever comes against them does not seem to phase them, it only makes them stronger. Unfortunately many of us do not and we give them up.

It is hard to break through to a failed mindset as the impact of the unmet desires can crush a person’s heart. When you believe and pursue something with all you have and it does not work out, it is a painful experience of which we do not always want to re-live. Dreams only seem make believe as any attempt to achieve them becomes thwarted. It is the same for if we do not even let our dreams take flight due to other people, situations or even our own unbelief.

An antidote for failure is HOPE.

When your dreams have been met with nothing but opposition then it can be hard to dream again. To believe and step out again can be very challenging. Today choose to re-question your thoughts of failure.

Close your eyes and dare to dream again. Dare to believe again. Find the strength to give your dream another go. Don’t let fantasy steal your reality if you know it is achievable.

Let the right relationships fuel you with encouragement and support. Let the Internet be your oyster and find all the help and advice you can. Refuse to give up on your dream.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12