Have you died in your past?

I’ve become lost in my films again people! This time it’s Me Before You (stunning book and screenplay written by Jojo Moyes and film directed by Thea Sharrock). Such a beautiful, realism romance story – a real tear-jerker. I really wish I could get lost in this element… can you feel the “but” coming? BUT, I actually learned something quite interesting in such a short space of time. Whether I have fully accepted and processed it is another story, but I want to share the thought with you. I ask you this simple question;

Come and take a walk with me…

The above question was internally posed to me when I had suddenly become drawn to a specific scene of the film. Towards the end, whilst on the beach at night, Louise pours her heart out about how she feels and what the future can hold for herself and William.

Louise sharing her heart with Will

 

 

“Listen, I know this is not how you would have chosen it, but I can make you happy.” – Louise 

 

 

Lou was so happy because she thought she changed Will’s decision to live. It was in this moment when the question began to knock hard on the door of my heart. Will said;

Will telling Louise “no.”

 

“No, no Clark. I get that this could be a good life, but it’s not my life. It’s not even close. You never saw me before. I loved my life. I really loved it…” – Will

 

 

 

No matter how much life had changed for Will; for the better in the last six months, he still wanted to end his life. I want us to remove Will’s story and replace it with our own, our own life. Again, I ask you; “Have you died in your past?”

Will could not face the fact that his life had changed because he died in his old life. After his accident, Will became a different person due to circumstances. He missed the life he used to live and who he used to be in that life. I know I’m not the only person in the world to think “gosh, I miss my past.” We all have our “I miss…” moments. Times when we think about something from our past: a trip or holiday, friends and family where relationships have changed, jobs or career choices, when we made a stupid decision, when we danced or sung, when we had a favourite film or television programme, when we cried in the bathroom, when we got drunk or smoked, when we went clubbing; etc. We’re only human, we miss things from time-to-time, it’s normal. Missing a part of our past is not a problem, but if you have died in that past moment, there is a problem as your present is infected and your future is being affected.

I want you to understand that there is a difference between dying in your past and dying to your past.

1. Dying in your past is when a situation or circumstance has affected you so much that you cannot let go and you died with it. When something similar presents itself, you react the same as you did before or become numb because you never really dealt with it. It means you died in the past and are not; or struggling, to live in the present. You haven’t let go.
2. Dying to your past is accepting that a situation or circumstance changed you, but when it presents itself in the present, you respond differently because you accepted and began, or did deal with it. It means you are or have moved on.

For Will, it was a motorbike accident leaving him disabled from the neck down with other health problems, that caused him to not see a better future outside of his past. He just couldn’t see anymore, no matter how good his present had become and great his future really was. I ask you another question; “What was your accident?”

What crippled you? (metaphorically speaking). What is it that has left you dying? What was the situation, circumstance or person that left you dead? What past moment can you not see beyond? This could be mentally, spiritually, physically or emotionally. We are all individuals and our accidents will be different to each of us. Rhetorical questions are always the most uncomfortable because if you let yourself speak to yourself, you find out what is really inside of you, what you really believe and think.

Thinking of your own story, do not be afraid to find life again in your present. Your future can be great if you will die to your past and not die in your past. Miss the memories and don’t die in them. If you have, I’m here to let you know that there is a different way. You can live again! It might be hard but there is always hope. Ask yourself the rhetorical questions above and ultimately answer the title of this blog post. Find good, wise counsel in people. Seek good advice and find life again. Take baby steps that build heart again, encourage you to see and live again. IT IS POSSIBLE!

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Even though Will chose not to live, in the last six months of his life he actually lived in the present moment. He changed Lou’s future even though he couldn’t change his own. The film shows that you can live if you will just go through the process of being changed, coming out of your past and seeing life; not death, in your future NO MATTER what the circumstances or situations.

Be free from your past, awake in your present and alive for your future. 

 

 

 

Understanding Magneto

Magneto is one of the most iconic characters in the Marvel franchise. A powerful mutant known for his ability to generate and control magnetic fields, and his firm beliefs and somewhat ‘unorthodox’ methods in enforcing that mutants are evolutionarily superior to humans.

The way in which Magneto handles things have caused us to categorise him as a villain. Can I be bold enough to say that I DO NOT believe Magneto is a villain?

Have we fell into the good vs evil emotional trap in the superhero world again? However wrong his actions may be, Marvel and the film industry have caused me to understand Magneto.

In 2008, Marvel mastermind and creator Stan Lee was interviewed and said he “did not think of Magneto as a bad guy. He just wanted to strike back at the people who were so bigoted and racist… he was trying to defend the mutants, and because society was not treating them fairly he was going to teach society a lesson. He was a danger of course… but I never thought of him as a villain.”

Our perspective of seeing Magneto as a villain is now being challenged. He was never created to be one. So why is he known as a villain?

Just from the above interview segment from Stan Lee alone, we see that we have judged, misunderstood and therefore misinterpreted Magneto. We have viewed an opinion of him based upon his external actions and missed his history and its impact on his heart and person.

Well let me tell you HIS-STORY…

Originally named Max Eisenhardt and born into a German-Jewish family in the late 1920’s. His family survived the Nazi rise to power, the passing of the Nuremberg Laws, and the Kristallnacht. They fled to Poland where captured during the German invasion of Poland, and sent to Warsaw Ghetto. They escaped but were betrayed and re-captured.

His family were executed and buried in a mass grave; only he survived. He escaped but was re-captured and sent to Auschwitz. He was reunited with Magda, who he fell in love with when he was younger and had escaped the prison camp revolt with. They married and settled in Vinnytsia, a west central city in Ukraine, with their daughter Anya. He adopted the name  “Magnus”.

Not really much of a villain thus far is he? A man constantly enslaved, saw his family slaughtered, and constantly on the run from people trying to kill him. Used and abused for his gifts at a young age.

Still believe he is a villain?

In Criminal Minds season 3 episode 10, BAU agent Rossi said, “life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person.” Situations had already began shaping Magneto but the next part of his story is where we see the unfolding and shaping of WHO he has now become.

The three of them lived happy until an angry mob, previously exposed to Magneto’s powers, burned down their home. Anya was still trapped inside, unable to be rescued due to the angry mob. Enraged, Magneto unleashed his powers and in the process killed the mob and destroyed a part of the city.

Magda; scared of his powers, left him and later gave birth to the mutant twins Pietro (Quicksilver) and Wanda (Scarlet Witch) before being presumed dead. Whilst on the run from the authorities and searching for Magda, Magneto took on the identity of Erik Lehnsherr and relocated to Israel. It was here that he met Charles Xavier whilst working at a psychiatric hospital near Haifa.

He lost everything… his heart failed. His entire soul (mind, will and emotions) was torn.

Is Magneto a villain to you now? We are so quick to judge him based upon his actions in how he responds to things, but never look at the reasons WHY. We do this also to people in the real world. Quick to judge their response but do not always attempt to understand or truly see them.

We can also be like Magneto sometimes. People and situations in our lives cause us to react in different ways. According to the history of Magneto, one could say he is accountable or only truly guilty of;

1. Responding inaccurately.
2. Letting people and situations infect him and make him worse.
3. Un-forgiveness and vengeance.
4. Stubbornness
5.  Pride

This is because of never dealing with, and truly getting over the scars of his past. If anything, Magneto is a wounded, hurting man. How different are we at times?

Professor Charles Xavier was the opposite, he had his own mutant struggles and a much more healthier upbringing. He and Magneto debated the consequences humanity faced with the rise of mutants. Charles believed that humans did not understand mutants and that mutants must show humans a different way. Magneto disagreed because of everything humans had cost him.

Charles had the ability to see Magneto, to understand him.

He was one of very few people who understood and believed that with a little help, Magneto could change. That Magneto could use his past to better his future. The fullness of his powers came from his pain and re-focussing it.

Charles saw Magneto for who he was; faults and all. He acknowledged and accepted both the good and bad inside of Magneto. He did not deny any part of Magneto as a person.

It was because of his ability to do this that he could reach Magneto. He allowed Magneto to see something different, being reason for Magneto’s battles between being a villain, anti hero and superhero. He occasionally was an ally and member of the X-Men at times also.

Xavier knew how to walk with people, he did this with Magneto. Not just in word but in action. Regardless of who Magneto chose to be, he still tried to reach Magneto with an open heart and mind believing Magneto could change.

Even though Magneto chooses to not forgive humans, Xavier chooses to keep trying to help him see a different way; a better way. He wants to change his perspective; his heart. He can only do this through understanding and accepting Magneto for all he is.

However, Charles knows that he himself must still battle against Magneto otherwise there would be no humans left. It is great expecting change but you must not diverse from your own personal walk, path and purpose. Charles still had to correct and challenge Magneto on what he was doing in the present, even though he believed he could change. He saw Magneto’s future but also acknowledged the corruption of Magneto’s present because of his unwillingness and hardships in letting go and forgiving his past.

We need to look beyond the external actions of people and see the heart; see inside them. This does not mean we accept and agree with their responses all the time but we understand what has happened on the inside of them, and are willing to walk them through or with them through the scars. We still need to correct and possibly even rebuke; but still love. Showing them grace until healing and deliverance (freedom) from their wounds come.

Magneto does not need to prove that mutants are better than humans, he does not need to try and turn humans into mutants, he does not need to destroy humans… I don’t agree with his actions in the slightest but I understand why he does what he does. He is accountable for whom he chooses to be.

Hearts must be taken into consideration because if they’re not, you’ll lose that person. We do not justify or highlight what they do, but we must see and acknowledge what is happening on their inside rather than judging from external actions.

 

 

 

Come Correct

Like any well oiled machine, we all need maintaining. Regardless of age, religion, culture or race, we seem to have a common issue; CORRECTION.

We live in a society where rebellion, disobedience and lawlessness lives. We don’t always listen, we don’t always follow instruction, we feel we have to have an answer for everything. We don’t like being told what to do, and even shun people who put us on the right path because of this little thing called correction.

Correct means: to set or make true, accurate, or right; remove the errors or faults from, to point out or mark the errors in, to scold, rebuke, or punish in order to improve.

Correction disciplines us (training to act in accordance with rules).

Correction is quite the taboo subject these days. If we are truly honest with ourselves we secretly hate being wrong. That little monster on the inside of us can raise up at the first sign of thinking we know better when we may actually not. That little ounce of pride oozes inside us, which either causes us to run from the truth or take it in order to grow from it.

Correction has two routes in your life dependant upon your attitude (how you think). It will either be your friend and mature you, or you will make it your enemy and eventually self destruct.

A short while back I wrote a post called An Untouchable Nature. It was about having an unbreakable nature, for better or worse.

Correction is the rod that breaks an untouchable nature. Correction re-shapes what can be touched, which is why you must have a teachable spirit/ nature.

You must allow yourself to become pliable. Not only to have the ability to learn or re-learn but to also be able to sustain it, THIS is the growing agent needed for correction to continue throughout your life. You have to be open to being teachable (capable of being instructed).

Responsibility and accountability must be your allies.

Whatever you correct must first be dealt with within yourself.

Matthew 7:3-5: Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

It is so easy to point out another mans fault but the true challenge is to point out your own. I do not mean in terms of self esteem, but in terms of truth.

A man (universal context) will never hear you or take heed of correction from you if he sees the behaviour of that same seed which you are correcting him with, on the inside of you.

You cannot correct what is not corrected inside of yourself first.

Mark 4:24 and Luke 8:18 speak of WATCHING HOW YOU HEAR. If you hear correction and do not take it, you have not heard it but you have listened to it. There is a difference between hearing (to learn by the ear or being told by) and listening (give attention with the ear).

Just because you have heard someone say something it does not mean that you have taken it on board. The difference is the decision we personally make on whether we act or not upon that which we have just heard.

You have to hear what is being said, as to whether you agree or not in truth rather than emotion. This is why you must be teachable as you have to be able to hear what is being said, weigh it up as to whether there is truth in it or not, and then act accordingly mentally, spiritually and physically.

Romans 12:2- And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

We must change the way we think about correction. To be put right, regardless of how we feel, is actually a good thing. It is better to be blessed for having a good character that has been forged by correction in life, than a character that stinks of pride and rebellion.

Why let pride have its perfect way in you? To be wise (having the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right; possessing discernment, judgment, or discretion) is far better than a wounded ego.

We are familiar with the phrase YOLO (you only live once). So why not hear, take on board and make positive changes in a world that needs it.

Proverbs 1: 1-7- To know wisdom and instruction, To discern the sayings of understanding, To receive instruction in wise behaviour, Righteousness, justice and equity; To give prudence to the naive, To the youth knowledge and discretion, A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, To understand a proverb and a figure, The words of the wise and their riddles. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Correction makes a person wise because they learn from situations and circumstances.

Hebrews 12:6 and Revelation 3:19 speak of God correcting those he loves. Why should we on earth be any different?

Don’t be afraid or deluded by not wanting to be corrected. You will be gifted by it in the end.

Title Without Character

WHO we are is a powerful statement. How we act, think and feel speak of who we are as a people. They narrate our character.

In life we are on our individual journeys of BECOMING who we are as people. Whether this be spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, in our careers and jobs, tastes of music, education, etc, we are in a process. Our characters are forming.

We can become in danger of wanting things but not developing the character that will allow us to sustain that which we want. Simba from The Lion King is a great example of this.

Simba was the son of King Mufasa, and was the next rightful heir to the throne.  He was very sure of himself knowing that he was born into royalty, he knew who his father was, and he knew that one day he would be king and rule over the other lions and the lands.

At this point in time Simba was only a child, maturity had not yet kindled itself within him. He acted how he thought.

Simba had what we would call in today’s society, an under-developed character. Due to what he knew, he thought that his present tense character was enough to sustain him as king.

Even though he was destined to be king, he had not yet formed the character necessary to be a good king. He wanted the title but didn’t have the character.

A title is something descriptive or distinctive that belongs to someone. Simba’s title was king, but for us it could be marriage, business, a relationship, car, house, job/ new job, head of a department, career, education, money, etc.

When we put character to title within this context, it changes everything.

Definition of character: The aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.

Simba was always destined to be king, that was never going to change. However, he had to go through a process to develop his character.

He had to change his mind so that his true character could be formed. We have to move from a knowing, into being.

The rest of the film shows how Simba’s character changed before he finally became the king he was meant to be.

If he did not go through the necessary process then he never would of developed the character that allowed him to be a good king.

We, as a people, are no different to Simba. No matter who we are or what we do, we MUST develop good character. We must go through training that will shape our characters, so that no matter where we are WE KNOW WHO WE ARE.

We must always be developing our characters. These traits and features we have will then sustain us in what we do. Our values, standards, attitude, and vision cannot be tinted because our character has been forged in the fire.

Character development cannot be cheated. Your external will always show your internal. If good character is not there then it will eventually show.

Having a title or being given a title, in the context stated earlier,  and developing good character alongside it is fine. The problem is being given or wanting titles and not developing good character.

Do not cheat yourself out of the character process. When you go through things, see the process of character through it.

There is no use in having a great future if your character does not match it.

Do not forfeit your character or take on a title with a premature character. We must check ourselves, our characters to see what we are being made of. Development is key.

A Present Problem

As a people we have both healthy and unhealthy obsessions with our past and our future.

Our past speaks of situations and circumstances that we have been through and may still keep or have kept us captive for a long time. They have hit our physical, emotional and spiritual states, being reason for why they are impacting. Our past forms of things which have or we have allowed to hit the very core of who we are, being reason to why we find it hard to let go of certain things and allow ourselves to become or stay chained to what has happened and what once was.

The future on the other hand can be similar but contrary. Rather than being chained to what happened, we are chained to what can be. Our future speaks of the unknown, a scary place for the human species. We obsess and have cautious anxieties and deep fears over who we will become, what we will do and how we will be and live. These fears and anxieties can often cause us to resist or relapse on what we can be in life and what we can do.

The only problem with this double sided coin of past and future is that it misses one key element, the present. We always speak about our past, how we should let things go and not become a slave to our past. Also the future in terms of striving to be your best so your future can be bright and successful. Of course, there is nothing wrong with this but we never seem to concern ourselves with our present, the ‘now.’

We believe that our past and future hold the key to our lives but I believe that it is your present that holds the key to your life. This thought has been running through my mind since the start of the new year. Our past and future can hinder us but our present can stop us.

What exactly do I mean by this? Let me put things into a different perspective. We live in the present, surviving our past regardless of what we have been through and where we have come from, and making way for walking into our future. However your present is the now you that is living. Your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual state are what cause you to stay locked in your past or dead to your future. A glimpse of our future gives us hope and the letting go of our past allows us to become free, but our present must ‘see’ and ‘walk’ this out in the now.

No matter what happened in your past or how prospering your future is, if your present self is not mentally, physically, spiritually or emotionally right, making the right decisions or walking in the right direction, it can and will abort who you really are and all you will become. What you submit yourself to you will become. This is why our present and now self must be in a constant state of renewal, healing and rebuilding, otherwise it will stop us from breaking away from our past and put glass in front of our future, only allowing us to see what could of been.

Let’s get our minds and hearts right from 2016 onwards. Let us find ourselves in these constant states of renewal, healing and rebuilding. Our present self must be free and making the right decisions that enable us to be free from our past and able to achieve and bring life to our future. Even as we have entered into this new year with new hopes, desires and goals to accomplish, let us also think about what our present state is allowing us to become.

Nature Changes Everything

My final blog post of 2015 will continue on the journey into  character. A reoccurring thought has trapped my mind over the last few days, the thought of ‘the nature of someone or something can change everything.’ A great example of this can be seen through Jason Gideon.

Mandy Patinkin played Jason Gideon, a criminal profiler and Senior Supervisory agent of the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit in the U.S. Police procedural crime series Criminal Minds.

Gideon spent many years training to be a profiler and was one of the best. His knowledge partnered with experience allowed him to be a great asset to the BAU, but as cases went on something inside of Gideon began to change.

During the ‘Boston Shrapnel Bomber’ case, Gideon sent six men into a warehouse which the bomber detonated. Gideon was criticised for his decisions and the handling of the case. He suffered a breakdown, taking six months medical leave suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Upon his return he was Senior Agent with Aaron Hotchner as Unit Chief.

If you have ever watched the show, you will know that the nature of the job is very pressing on every aspect of the agents lives and demands much from them.

After Gideon returned and continued working several trying cases, something had changed. Gideon was no longer mentally and emotionally who he was before. Adding to this he ascended into further emotional turmoil when close friend and love interest, Sarah Jacobs, was killed by an unsub because Gideon would not let him continue to kill people. These events led to Gideon resigning from the BAU.

Gideon’s job cost him the woman he loved and because of this Gideon walked away. He had failed to protect his heart. As he failed to protect his heart, he also lost some of the battle in his mind, hence him leaving his job at the BAU. Things were not how they used to be, somehow they became more personal. Gideon became infected emotionally, physically and mentally. His heart grew weary and his vision became dull.

“I just don’t understand any of it anymore”- Jason Gideon

How much more different are we from Gideon? Life hands out different dealings to each of us. Some we bring upon ourselves and are the consequences of our decisions or actions, whilst others are completely out of our control. Our emotional, physical, mental and spiritual selves are infected.

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life- Proverbs 4:23 (New Living Translation)

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect- Romans 12:1-2 (New American Standard version)

Ephesians 6:10-20 

When we fail to protect or guard ourselves, we become infected. What infects you? What causes you to turn over inside? What causes your nature to change? Do you change for better or for worse? Work, religion, family and friends, beliefs, values, society, media, emotions, thoughts, health, wealth, traditions, cultures; an endless list.

Impacts from these and other things also change our perspective. Our vision becomes distorted. Gideon was a great profiler, of which we saw in series 10 when Gideon was hot on the trail of an unsub even though he had left the BAU. Being a profiler was still inside of Gideon but somewhere down the line what he had gone through he allowed to change his nature.

“I guess I’m just looking for it again. For the belief I had back in college. The belief I had when I first met Sarah and it all seemed so right. The belief in happy endings” – Jason Gideon

Gideon had to find hope again before he could move forward. Going into the new year, most people make new year resolutions. We set new challenges, orders, goals and structures in our lives with a deadline. I charge you with this menacing thought for 2016; WHAT WILL I ALLOW TO CHANGE MY NATURE THIS YEAR?

We must protect our hearts, minds, souls and spirits from internal and external circumstances, as well as their impact on us. Really take time out to see who you really are as a person. What is your nature saying? What changes or is changing your nature? Renew things which need to be renewed and let go of things that are not good for you.

I end again with this, ‘the nature of someone or something can change everything.’

Quotes about character

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.”
― August Wilson

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
― John Wooden

“Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think it is and the tree is the real thing.”
― Abraham Lincoln

“People do not seem to realise that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When you choose your friends, don’t be short-changed by choosing personality over character.”
― W. Somerset Maugham

“Character is doing what you don’t want to do but know you should do.”
― Joyce Meyer

“One’s character is set at an early age. The choices you make now will affect you for the rest of your life. I hate to see you swim out so far you can’t swim back.”
― Wendelin Van Draanen, Flipped

“Choices determine character.”
― Brandon Mull, Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary

“We cannot live better than in seeking to become better.”
― Socrates