Have you died in your past?

I’ve become lost in my films again people! This time it’s Me Before You (stunning book and screenplay written by Jojo Moyes and film directed by Thea Sharrock). Such a beautiful, realism romance story – a real tear-jerker. I really wish I could get lost in this element… can you feel the “but” coming? BUT, I actually learned something quite interesting in such a short space of time. Whether I have fully accepted and processed it is another story, but I want to share the thought with you. I ask you this simple question;

Come and take a walk with me…

The above question was internally posed to me when I had suddenly become drawn to a specific scene of the film. Towards the end, whilst on the beach at night, Louise pours her heart out about how she feels and what the future can hold for herself and William.

Louise sharing her heart with Will

 

 

“Listen, I know this is not how you would have chosen it, but I can make you happy.” – Louise 

 

 

Lou was so happy because she thought she changed Will’s decision to live. It was in this moment when the question began to knock hard on the door of my heart. Will said;

Will telling Louise “no.”

 

“No, no Clark. I get that this could be a good life, but it’s not my life. It’s not even close. You never saw me before. I loved my life. I really loved it…” – Will

 

 

 

No matter how much life had changed for Will; for the better in the last six months, he still wanted to end his life. I want us to remove Will’s story and replace it with our own, our own life. Again, I ask you; “Have you died in your past?”

Will could not face the fact that his life had changed because he died in his old life. After his accident, Will became a different person due to circumstances. He missed the life he used to live and who he used to be in that life. I know I’m not the only person in the world to think “gosh, I miss my past.” We all have our “I miss…” moments. Times when we think about something from our past: a trip or holiday, friends and family where relationships have changed, jobs or career choices, when we made a stupid decision, when we danced or sung, when we had a favourite film or television programme, when we cried in the bathroom, when we got drunk or smoked, when we went clubbing; etc. We’re only human, we miss things from time-to-time, it’s normal. Missing a part of our past is not a problem, but if you have died in that past moment, there is a problem as your present is infected and your future is being affected.

I want you to understand that there is a difference between dying in your past and dying to your past.

1. Dying in your past is when a situation or circumstance has affected you so much that you cannot let go and you died with it. When something similar presents itself, you react the same as you did before or become numb because you never really dealt with it. It means you died in the past and are not; or struggling, to live in the present. You haven’t let go.
2. Dying to your past is accepting that a situation or circumstance changed you, but when it presents itself in the present, you respond differently because you accepted and began, or did deal with it. It means you are or have moved on.

For Will, it was a motorbike accident leaving him disabled from the neck down with other health problems, that caused him to not see a better future outside of his past. He just couldn’t see anymore, no matter how good his present had become and great his future really was. I ask you another question; “What was your accident?”

What crippled you? (metaphorically speaking). What is it that has left you dying? What was the situation, circumstance or person that left you dead? What past moment can you not see beyond? This could be mentally, spiritually, physically or emotionally. We are all individuals and our accidents will be different to each of us. Rhetorical questions are always the most uncomfortable because if you let yourself speak to yourself, you find out what is really inside of you, what you really believe and think.

Thinking of your own story, do not be afraid to find life again in your present. Your future can be great if you will die to your past and not die in your past. Miss the memories and don’t die in them. If you have, I’m here to let you know that there is a different way. You can live again! It might be hard but there is always hope. Ask yourself the rhetorical questions above and ultimately answer the title of this blog post. Find good, wise counsel in people. Seek good advice and find life again. Take baby steps that build heart again, encourage you to see and live again. IT IS POSSIBLE!

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Even though Will chose not to live, in the last six months of his life he actually lived in the present moment. He changed Lou’s future even though he couldn’t change his own. The film shows that you can live if you will just go through the process of being changed, coming out of your past and seeing life; not death, in your future NO MATTER what the circumstances or situations.

Be free from your past, awake in your present and alive for your future. 

 

 

 

Internally Shutter-boxed

Man can sometimes mirror machine. Not only has he the ability to function all day and night; sub-sectioning a vast intake whilst constantly re-charging but he also has the capacity to ‘break down’. Human nature has a way of dismissing that which it does not wish to face. Anything that causes internal conflict or outer uncomfortability can cause us to run like prey as if it were conscious of its predator.

Our life is the arena and we are the centre stage of it. All activity concerning us is present in the centre whilst spectators have their active or passive input. Our mind, will and emotions (soul), heart, spirit and physical being are all part of this centre which is affected by the activities of everyday life.

Situations and circumstances (activities of life) trailed alongside their outcomes form us as a people. Their affects shape and help build us into the people who we become and are today. These outcomes can have vibrant or fatal affects on us. We manifest the outcomes our situations and circumstances internally have on us. How we handle the outcomes begin to flow from us. They manifest behaviours and attitudes.

Our arenas; education, religion, work, economy and finance, politics, relationships- love/ family/ friends, culture and other avenues become infected . The exterior gives insight into the interior. How we handle decisions and choices, confusion, beliefs and doubts, unmet desires, frustrations and anger, discouragement, violence and abuse, etc is key to our internal selves.

At any given time or age these impacts on our heart, soul and physical selves still make us prone to the ability to shut ‘ones-self’ down. Today’s society is no better than the ancestors that have lived  before us and those yet to be birthed in a distant future. Even Adam and Eve hid once they had disobeyed God’s instructions (Genesis 3). Life and its hand dealings still have their impact on us.

The problem occurs when we internalise the problems by not handling them well or maybe not at all. We section off the parts we do not want to face. They become little stacker boxes or locked up crates with keys that can only be found in a treasure hunt. Some shut whilst others open. Internally we can hide in every corner or dark valley available to us that allows us to find shade rather than the light we need. We become masters of masquerading rather than transparent beings.

When we begin to shut down internally rather than be honest and face our Goliath’s (giants or mountains) we have a major problem. Not only will we become distant from our real selves but we begin to die inside.

Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee” (King James Version).

Regardless of religion or culture the above scriptural principle applies. Whatever you think you are, you become. The only way of outgrowing what we become is in changing our thoughts and emotions through our decisions from the impacts of life. We become better or worse people based on the internal attitude and what we have been told of who we are and who we internally choose to be, leading to our external manifested self.

Life is different for every person, some worse than others but all still damaging in a way to that particular individual, which I think we all can agree on. The best advice is that regardless of what has happened, seek help. Whether it be through religion or counsel; never internally shut down or get addicted to something that will numb the pain of an internal bleed. Do not internally box yourself up into compartments and write on them the wounds of what happened. Dealing with every box is beneficial, hard but beneficial to you being ALIVE internally.

We think that because everything looks ok on the outside that all is fine but if the inside of a man is not living then he is walking dead.

Proverbs 4:23 reading from the New Living Translation version of the Bible reads “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life”.

Your heart is central to who you are. When you stop living from it you begin to feel its affects. Life throws some wicked curve balls at us but we can choose to face them and their percussions or internally shutter box; functioning with the lights off. Find a way to not shut down internally but face who you are becoming or have become internally.

 

 

I Think I Get The Wicked Witch

The Wicked Witch- Oz The Great & Powerful

I was at my sisters the other night and ‘Oz The Great & Powerful’ was on one of the movie channels. I have not watched this film previously in full, only spot checked it at work; so I had only very little idea of what to expect.

It was a good film to be honest but what I loved the most was how they depicted the wicked witch. The wizard came to town; the man that had been prophesied about (forseen/ spoken of) and believed in soo much that would end the wicked witches reign of terror. The film reveals the story of wicked witch falling in love with the wizard. I was shocked about this as I never knew there was this side of the story, I just thought the witch was just wicked. This really stood out for me and made me think about the witch in a different light and why she was the way she was.

The story goes on to unfold how the wicked witch thought he was hers; that she would be his Queen. She pretty much fell for him. However this was not the plan, mindset or heart of the wizard; she was not for him in that way. She goes to her sister heart-broken and wants to not feel the pain. Her sister, after manipulating the situation further then gives her an apple; to her surprise it turns her into the green monster that she is today.

The Agreement- The Wicked Witch

What I find most captivating is her transformation. Her ugliness came out because of what the wizard had done. For those who have watched the film, you could say that it was all in the witches head or that it was obvious he did not want her. That is true however when we look a little closer the wizard expressed these feelings of not wanting her in that way to his friends; not her. That is my point, that is the part of the story I would like to discuss.

I came across the above Bob Marley quote on someone’s Facebook page. This came back to mind after watching this film. It reminded me a lot of the wicked witch. In life we so often see the external manifestation of an internal wound. In this case the witch turned a green skin tone and became extremely nasty, more nasty than previously as all she had was a bad temper; this being the external manifestation but if we back-track a little we see why this happened. She had hopes, desires and dreams of becoming not only loved by the wizard but his Queen, this being unfulfilled and unmet led to her becoming heart-broken and making an agreement/ vow of never wanting to be heart-broken again or ever feel that pain; this being the internal factor. So there you see it, the external manifestation of an internal wound.

Heartbroken- The Wicked Witch

Lets face it most of us have been in this position in life at least once; heart-broken about something. Who ever really wants to feel that pain, sit with it, think about it? Who wants to ever express it? I know I don’t, do you? With this in mind I think we can take it a little easy on the wicked witch. I am not excusing her behaviour but I am seeing her wound. Choosing to never sit with or deal with her heartbrokenness did not help matters and caused the pain to take root and grow into bitterness. She chose to act out of her wound rather than act out of getting over it. I am just saying I can identify with why she is the way she is, not justify it.

I always get angry at the above Bob Marley quote and stories like the wicked witch. I hated the fact that a man would come into a woman’s life, open her up like a flower and then BAM, do something that then causes her to shrivel back up like an old prune. This is also the case for women doing it to men. I am UNIVERSALLY speaking; even in friendships; all forms of relationships, etc. However I guess I am still walking out my own healing and deliverance in this area. Getting better understandings by God alone about the power of forgiveness and love.

I always remember T.D. Jakes saying “hurt people always hurt people”. I have never forgotten this but hurt still hurts. Regardless of what people do we always have a choice; we deal with the pain or we become the pain like the wicked witch, letting it take root and turn us into something ugly which we are not. It is not easy to make the right obvious choice but as the Bible says in Deuteronomy 30:19 “his day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live,” (New International Version). The key words being from this verse being Now choose life.

Will you choose life?