What Is LIVING In Your Head?

Your mind is a vast specimen and an approved force to be reckoned with however in an unwholesome stage it can be your worst nightmare. Take a few minutes to watch the below clip from the series Criminal Minds (season 10 episode 11– The Forever People).

The above clip is solely my driven purpose for this blog post as I am not here to talk about this episode in its entirety.

Jennifer Jareau, known as JJ suffered traumatic and unforeseen abuse at the hands of her ex- overseas colleague, Tivon Askari, whilst working a case. JJ again became a victim of those which her and the team imprison. She suffered not only mental but also physical torture which triggered the loss of her unborn child; forever leaving her scarred.

After the death of Tivon, one year later she is forced to face the anniversary of the event. Every thought and emotion made its presence known and began to manifest like water given to plants. Just like the rest of humanity JJ is no exception to the constant battle of the mind. Even after one year JJ was under the assumption that she had dealt with the situation, which to us in our terms means “I thought I was over it?”.

For one whole year JJ functioned in her ability as a mum, wife and BAU agent. Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually she had dealt with very little concerning what had happened. We know this as the above clip speaks of JJ’s unconscious mind.

JJ’s dialogue makes for interesting discussion. Her behaviour started speaking which showed a change in her character. Something has shifted in JJ. Her speech, confidence and actions exhibited her non-verbal dialogue. The real conversation was between JJ and her unconscious mind, that which was internally speaking to her.

Tivon Askari

Your unconscious mind is very much alive. We go through different situations and circumstances of which we most times have no control over. The deciding factor of rising above or sinking beneath are the decisions we internally make which determine our actions. The only problem is that we forget to CHECK our unconscious mind.

By definition alone the word unconscious means without awareness, cognition or sensation. The processes in the mind that take place automatically and not given a reflection period. Our thought processes, memories, motivations, etc. The unconscious and its processes exist under the surface and impact our behaviour. Academic research studies have suggested that the unconscious includes repressed feelings, automatic skills, subliminal perceptions, thoughts, habits, automatic reactions and possibly hidden phobias and desires. Some processes expressed in dreams, slips of the tongue and jokes.

Dealing with that which is under the surface is a very important part of growing as a person. When a part of you is revealed and this is enlightened unto you, you have a responsibility and an accountability to do something about it. However as the unconscious deals with under the surface, it HAS to be revealed. Sometimes people are used to show us what we are really made of then at other times we can see our own reflections based upon how we respond to that which happens to us. Yes there is always help but we also have a part to play. JJ’s response was to function at home and work but what she really needed to do was face the monster in her unconscious mind.

Dr Reid addressing JJ’s behaviour

Rather than looking under our skin we can sometimes become efficient. Using what we have in order to just pass by in life rather than sacrificing ourselves to the fullest in order to be all we can be. We hide in the functioning of everyday life when in reality we are unaware of the damage we are doing to ourselves because we are not dealing with what we are really thinking, feeling and going through which is internally taking its toll. Regardless of how much we divorce ourselves from reality we  will never deal with what is under our surface until we face it for ourselves. We all have our own individual ways of dealing with things but what is really living in our minds? What is your unconscious mind saying to you?

The mental processing taking place in our mind is what needs to be daily re-evaluated and challenged. Whether this be our religious belief systems, our dealings with people, how we talk or act towards ourselves and others, our values, our jobs, our personal confidence and self esteem, our relationships with our neighbours, family and friends; the list goes on. We really need to check all our repressed feelings, automatic skills, subliminal perceptions, thoughts, habits, automatic reactions, hidden phobias and desires. We need to see what is going on inside of us. Even the Bible tells us to examine ourselves (1Corinthians 11:28) and look at yourself to change you before being quick to judge others (Matthew 7:5).

My proposal to you today and even unto myself is for us conduct an individual check-up on ourselves; our hearts, feelings and MIND. Yes there is more to our minds than the unconscious but we need to see what is living in it as it is that which has the potential to make or break us. Whether you turn to people for wise counsel or prayer, something needs to be done with the living elements in our minds. Do not be ignorant, deceived or not willing to deal with yourself.

Let’s find and take this journey. There will be times when we really do not like, want to see or even believe what is really underneath but I can assure you that taking and sticking with the best process is a lifetime commitment and will be beneficial. We are merely responding to what can be a great time of change and transformation.

 

 

Will I Ever Be Able To Defend You Again?

I wrote this post 9 days ago and never posted it so here I go now…

I have thought a lot about the Media today. About the Media as an industry, as individuals and as a world dominator on human life. The sad thing is that as much as I love media, I actually cannot defend it much in debate.

A month ago I was invited to a youth event and the organiser of the event shared her heart about the event, why she did it and what her end goal/ dreams were. Whilst sharing she touched on the media and its publicity on the youth. She shared her experiences of the media and how they portrayed and represented young people to the rest of the world. Ultimately the coverage overall if rated was BAD. She expressed how most coverage of young people she saw was bad, negative; never showing, sharing or telling of their achievements or if they had made any changes that have impacted the world they live in. Never nothing positive. An example she gave was with regards to the the latest 2012 GCSE results. How one of the first things printed were about how the students had failed and blamed the Governing system as they had changed it. Her daughter had done her GCSE’s and happened to be highly sucessful; her daughter was not congratulated even though she studied night and day- there was no “well done”.

As the woman was speaking my heart sank and I wanted to cry. I remember thinking in my head “we’re not all bad ya’know… I’m not”.

Then the other day, more recently it happened again. I was at another event on identity. As we know it, yes yet again the media subject rolled up again. How the media have and create an enormous impact on identity and how people and things should be perceived. The more she spoke, the more frustrated and sad I became. She touched on how magazines tell you how to look rather than just finding out who you are and being happy with that. Further relating to this there is the whole talk about the body image GSCE.

Again a little voice in my head said “we’re not all bad ya’know… I’m not”.

Where am I going with all this? What’s my point? My point is… THEY ARE RIGHT. Most youth press in the public eye is bad and media have too much imprint on our identity that does not always or mostly have a great effect. The problem is I am finding it harder and harder to defend my baby… the media. The industry I have been learning about since the age of 14/15. The people I have met in the media and the skills and areas I have become acquainted with; I CAN’T defend them.

Not all press is bad and not all news is negative but the impact the media has is quite big, bigger than we know. The media are one of the biggest mouth pieces of the 21st century and beyond. We have reign over every area in the world and have the most precious gift of all… telling the world about the world. We tell you what is going on, what’s new and old, where’s safe and where isn’t, we advertise you, we sell you… summing this up; we give you what you want; but at what cost?

Clearly there is a community out there that the media isn’t reaching. There is a community out there that we aren’t getting through to or if we are we aren’t doing a great job. Why did the lady from the event not feel supported by the media in her cry to help the youth and show the world of their greatness? Why at the conference were study’s, images and “media opinion” so negatively shared. What is wrong? What are we doing wrong media?

The media is sometimes like an adult with a baby’s mouth, we don’t always know how to speak properly. If we look hard enough there are people and organisations with the media that are printing the positives about youth, there are good representations of natural every day women out there… these things DO exist but the problem is they are not always in the limelight like the bad news.

I remember one of the first things I learned as a journalist- “Bad News is good news”. People want to hear all about the bad news. My first thought was “well I don’t”. It was challenging; not everyone thinks bad news is good. Not everyone wants to hear about the bad side of Politicians or the recently known hygiene standards of the NHS being bad; some of us do like to hear about the good things in life. We love to hear about the man who saved another’s life, the bank who helped save a local person’s small business, the couple who got out of debt, the young person who has spoken to society’s most influencial people and changed something for the better. YES!!!! These stories are out there, you just need to look but we also need to make known these things to you.

The media I liken to ‘my baby’. I love it but sometimes when it is in the wrong, I can’t defend even though I would like to. You just have to sometimes sit down and have a think, go back and make the right changes yourself then hopefully the baby will learn.

I URGE you (the people) help us (the media) give you more of what you want. Help us give you more good news, even tell it us and I hope we will get GOOD NEWS more out there. Speak to us and help us changed what we print, broadcast and audibly tell. The media is a massive industry and sometimes you gotta fight tooth and nail to change it. We like everything else have formats, handbooks, codes, etc that we must follow and sometimes these make it difficult for change but we need a people who can think that it’s possible.

I hope one day I can look back and say “YAY” I can finally defend my baby”.

The Masked Avenger

Criminal Minds: True Night

Once again, here I go with grossly advertising television programme Criminal Minds. However, once again I must say that I watched another entirely unspeakable episode of Criminal Minds- I jumped straight into season 3; episode 10 titled True Night.

If you haven’t watched it then I highly recommend you do. Basically, just to summarise the episode; a young comic book artist (amazingly drawn by the way) starts to draw these graphically exposed sinister murder scenes of a masked person killing people in certain locations with a samurai sword. However these drawings begin to become a gory reality. The BAU team are sent in to investigate. To cut a long story short, it turns out to be the comic book guy who is drawing the murders then committing them in real time. After experiencing a traumatic event, he went onto to becoming this killer. He and his girlfriend decided to go to the shop to get some beef jerky (as she was hungry) late at night. After purchasing what she wanted, she tells Jonny that she is pregnant and the couple are happy and continue walking. Then they are stopped whilst walking and after hearing the baby news, Jonny proposes to his girlfriend BUT as he pops the question awaiting an answer, they are stopped in their tracks by a gang. The gang mimic the proposal scene and form the traumatic event that causes Jonny to become his NEW identity. They rape his pregnant girlfriend in front of him, making him watch, and then kill her. They then deeply cut Jonny physically wide open in his stomach as well as beating him, leaving him nearly dead.  

You’re probably thinking “who cares” or even better “what’s the hype about”, “what’s my point?” Well let me tell you this my friends… my point is the new identity that is formed… the masked avenger formed to cope with the event. My last blog titled ‘The Alter Ego Doorway’ is pretty much linked to this. I talked about alter personalities formed to help us cope but now this time; the trauma, forget or repression of events mentally can actually form a new identity. The WHAT now becomes known for WHY the mask exists.

We look around in society and a big cry of WHO AM I screams out. Young children trying to the adults, adults acting like kids- we could go on but I won’t lol. Identity seems to be stolen, the confident status quo slowly disappearing from the earth.

Jonny McHale played by actor Frankie Muniz (Malcolm In The Middle) simply went through the most traumatic event of his life. His physical injuries and the complete heartbreak of watching his girlfriend been raped and killed; also losing his unborn FIRST baby left him terribly wounded. His mind started recalling repressed memories little by little of what happened. His clear gifting and talents mentally constructed this masked figure, this masked avenger per say. The one who would go out and stop all the baddies; however there was one big problem. The trauma led to a spree of uncontrollable unforgettable events. When you watch the episode, you will see that it was of no fault of his own but the receiving of no long term psychological help allowed this new identity to form and take control- destroying the very little of Jonny that was left.

In this case repression and forget were tools (branches as you would say) used for helping to construct the masked avenger identity. How long do we go on for repressing and seeking no long term help for our traumatic, repressed events in our lives? Do we create a new identity? If so what identity do we create- the killer, the confident chick, the introvert soul, the loud mouth, Mr. I don’t give a damn, the street slut??? What identity do you own or what identity owns you?

Life throws unspeakable things at us- the very smallest thing like a child leaving home for the first time to go out and experience the big bad world to people committing suicide leaving their partners or loved ones behind with nothing but unspeakable loss and painful precious memories. Regardless of the scale, all these events are BIG to a person in some way, shape or form. The pain these events leave behind can be major and terribly factors draining people physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. But our biggest issue is the mask… what we do to get rid of the memories and emotions? The scariest thing we can sometimes do is HIDE.

Jonny could not face what he went through; he was totally broken. The pain of his ordeal let him mentally create a character that took revenge on the gang members who destroyed his life and took everything away from him- Jonny was avenged; his new character avenged him. However Johnny didn’t realise that the character (mask per say) he created was actually himself- how he really felt.

We obviously take into account the mental and medical state of people when dealing with traumatic events but do we deal with the masked identities constructed to help deal with the pain, with the trauma, with the memories from the event? Just from looking at people throughout society you can clearly see that when people don’t deal with any issue they face, it becomes very evident- the issue becomes them. However my thought is that what identity is created when we don’t deal with issues in our lives. Another example would be the King Of Pop  Michael Jackson– he created Peter Pan (the boy who never grew up and looking into Jackson’s childhood, he never got the chance to be a boy so Peter Pan was an identifiable character for him and so this identity he had taken on in his own life). Even in my blog post entry, Adam formed Amanda to help protect him. This tells us that we construct identities to shell (protect) and hide the real pain- the raw emotions- our true hearts and minds. However the problem becomes when the identity becomes who we are, when really we are not this identity but have created it to help us cope, help us protect or hide the real pain of what happened- the truth.

The only way we can get rid of these masks is by facing the truth, by facing what has made us do this. The truth is ugly (so they say) and everyone is different and what we go through is different. Not everyone can sit and talk to someone and change just like that- the change is not important but the steps towards making the change to help yourself are important and then the change will come. So how do we move? What do I do? 

SEEK HELP, I don’t mean run to the world and tell them your problems but seek the help you need before your mask haunts you.