A Written Wilderness

Writing is my inner design. I make words dance on paper with my pen. Their structures form like an unborn child taking shape in the womb. I scribe the letters of the soul and resurrect a story’s voice. Ink just flows from me, it runs through my veins as it knows every part of my vessel.

I can write all day. Emotions become transparent water, the hearts thoughts and motives unveil their true value and the adventure of life begins to unfold before the eyes of the very one reading the script. Writing is not just words, it is HEART.

I write simply because I want to write, it is natural to me. I open the textbook of my heart and flick through the spectacles of its dynamic pages. I am like a kid in a candy store, there is so much to see and choose from but you cannot have everything because it will make you sick. Writing is the same for me. I have floods of ideas that run into an ocean as wide as the Pacific but filtering them down stream is a much more mammoth task.

The world of writing is new to me. Reaching into unknown territory through layering research that some of the world of journalism has not exposed to me has been quite eye consuming. I did not know that there was so much involved. Looking at different types and styles of writing, familiarising myself with writing legends and jobs within writing has been mind trafficking, and that is not covering everything. The realisation of truth when crossing the borders of part of an unfamiliar land can be quite scary but rewarding once momentum has kicked in and the race has begun.

I am concluding that no matter the quantity of your head knowledge or having another tell you of your true potential, it is up to you to tap into your internal nature. As I said in my opening sentence ” writing is my inner design”, I still have to get to grips with the DNA of my writing. I believe and know that God has gifted me with writing but unlocking its totality is my written wilderness.

Wilderness can be denoted as a negative term. We associate it with dry, hot, over-exposed, unbearable and endless pain but we forget that the most important part of any wilderness is the JOURNEY. If we equate wilderness to the realms of a person finding themselves or digging deeper to pull something out of them that is hidden, then wilderness can take on a whole new meaning. We forget that we can still LIVE if we know how.

When I refer to a ‘written wilderness’ I am speaking of the wild, uncultivated writer within me that is yet to take on its full form. This is the part of myself with a gifting that needs to be worked on. You do not just form a new habit in two days, it takes one month to generate as part of a renewal process. It takes time.

 

My point is that I have a journalistic background which helps give me some foundations within writing but my written wilderness will be one of my biggest adventures of unmasking for myself. To live daily, unlocking my writing and where it will take me will be one of the hardest but greatest testimony’s of all time. Bettering my English, expanding my reading catalogue, learning and teaching this to others and many other duties are just a few stepping stones in an estuary. This is one of the greatest times of my life.

Help, advice, tips and wisdom are ALWAYS welcome. I write with the aim of bringing change to people’s lives by giving them a eye check-up through my writing. I must now look into doing this for myself internally,  riding the waves of my own mind. Let the path of excitement unroll.

A Split Being

Humanity is known for its talent of hiding. We have learned the art of contouring, blending life’s situations and circumstances with our identities. Rather than seeking out the true nature of ourselves from the battles in life we have or may face, we can sometimes become lost in the very apparel of the scars life leaves behind.

These scars take on all forms, shapes and sizes. They come from all walks of life. We attain them as children and carry them our entire adult lives. We can either walk with our scars as healed people showing where we have come from or colour in our wounds to match our exterior but as soon as they are touched they bleed crimson red. The second type of walking with the scar can also be translated as ‘unresolved issues’. Those things that we think we are over but really there is another ‘person’ inside us who is warring to break out. We let our mask master us rather than us reigning over our mask.

Unresolved issues are like any other problem in life. They eventually come to the surface. You can not hide from yourself because sooner or later you will catch your reflection and have to face yourself.

Some of you may or may not remember a TV series titled ‘Heroes‘.  A set of stories about ordinary everyday people who discover they have superhuman abilities. These abilities bring them altogether for an ultimate purpose. Each character had their own story to tell along the battle field of good vs evil. However the character I would like us to get acquainted with is Niki Sanders.

One part of a triplet with the ability of enhanced strength at birth, adopted by the Sanders family which went on to form a great bond with her sister Jessica. Unfortunately her adoptive father was abusive creating circumstances which led to the death of her sister Jessica and a repressed mind state in which Niki developed a split personality.

Jessica & Niki Sanders

Niki had a family, a whole new life from the one she had once known. Niki’s abusive past created an alter ego which named itself as her sister Jessica. After many years she was once again faced with her father which conjured many different thoughts and emotions of her past. Jessica came to surface and protected Niki. As the doorway had been opened Jessica became more aggressive and powerful. Jessica could not be controlled by anyone, not even Niki. Niki did everything she could to suppress Jessica, she even took tablets as Jessica would leave for a while but when Niki had to face herself again Jessica would always come back.

The matter at hand here was Niki’s ‘unresolved issues’. Her mind had not faced the demons of her past which allowed an access point for an alter ego. Rather than going through the healing process her mind repressed everything she had experienced. Niki became two people, she was a split being.

Unresolved issues are an internal matter. When someone hurts us, if we don’t forgive or anything else for that matter, it creates a hard heart and we begin to feel the affects internally. This could be from simply thinking about a situation or person as well as seeing them or being put in a situation which has caused a scar. Our journey in life allows us to go through many different things. Some things we can handle and get over whilst others may be a bit of a struggle. It is very important to be honest with yourself and face the part of you that you are hiding from.

Some people have experienced what only we would say is inhumane justice in this world. Their stories tell of only darkness with which there is no light. This makes things harder as the battle has been so intense. However as John and Stasi Eldredge have taught me that you are always becoming someone or something no matter whether you are doing something or not. That God is interested in who you are becoming because you are becoming something. By dealing with your under the surface problems you are looking to become the true you but my burying them you are becoming something you are not.

Niki knew that she was not Jessica but Niki needed help in order to get rid of Jessica. When we do not deal with unresolved issues within us that which is not of us becomes stronger. Just like when Venom could take over Spiderman (see my blog post titled Resisting Venom) because he was being unforgiving and Jessica took over Niki; unresolved issues make us someone we are not.

We all need help in order to get rid of the shadows of who we become due to life’s situations and circumstances. The whole point of life is for us to be our selves to the best of life’s ability. We all struggle with the common human error of hiding but at what cost do we become someone else? Are our personal unresolved issues really worth us becoming something we are not?

We are better to face the pain than let the pain become our face internally. Being yourself is more precious and important than masquerading in a mask far from your real complexion.