Spiritual Dysmorphia

My mind has been running its usual mental marathon, trying to think of a simple analogy to describe an internal spiritual  condition of humanity.

Between 4-5AM of Monday morning, the answer finally came to me… Body Dysmorphia. Random right? However, for the purposes of this blog post I will be using this to describe what I am talking about.

Body Dysmorphia (BDD) is “an anxiety disorder that causes a person to have a distorted view of how they look and to spend a lot of time worrying about their appearance.” – NHS definition.

It consists of distressing thoughts about the self (body image) that do not go away. They become negative and are very impactful on an individual’s daily life. A person suffering from it believes they are ugly or defective in some way, and believe other people perceive them the same way. It is very focussed on the ‘external,’ but from an internal perspective.

It is no respecter of persons; affecting both males and females of different ages. It affects many people all over the world and is often hidden by those who struggle with it. More info.

Even though this blog post is not about BDD, this was the answer I was given. I was thinking to myself “why would Body Dysmorphia be the answer I am looking for to describe an internal concept?” The image that followed that question was a woman standing in front of a mirror, and her reflection looking back was very warped.

What Do You See?

I want you to consider something from a spiritual perspective. When using the word ‘spiritual,’ in this context I am referring to something “relating to or affecting the human spirit or soul, as opposed to material or physical things.” – Google definition. I am referring to the internal, not the external.

BDD causes an ugly image to be reflected back, when in reality the true image is different. This is where I flip the script. If we reverse BDD to a spiritual point of view (focussing on the warped reflection looking back – seeing the inside and ignoring the outside), my question to you is: IS THE UGLY, DEFORMED, WARPED PERSON IN YOUR REFLECTION REALLY YOU? This is something I have coined as Spiritual Dysmorphia.

Rather than automatically saying “no” because the outside looks fine, and you may be functioning well – everything is going good for you; no problems or you don’t sense or see any, really have a long look at the warped reflection. Bless God if it’s not true, but the problem is WHEN IT IS TRUE.

Your reflection in this context is who you are as a person: what you do, what you don’t do, your attitude (way of thinking) towards yourself and others, your behaviour in terms of how you treat yourself and others, how you generally think about things, your words and thoughts; etc. Spiritual Dysmorphia is all about the internal; what physically cannot be seen but internally exists under the surface.

Another way to think of Spiritual Dysmorphia is through the Disney Character ‘Beast‘ from Beauty and the Beast.

The Beast

The Beast was externally beautiful but internally ugly: his nature and character were horrible, his heart and mind were ugly too. He was cursed by becoming as ugly externally as he was internally.

“Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.” – Mark 7:15 (New International Version).

“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.” – Proverbs 27:19 (New Living Translation).

What is inside of you will eventually leak out. Spiritual Dysmorphia asks you to look at the true state of your internal nature and character. It asks you to check the state and condition of your heart. What is really going on in your spirit and soul? It asks you to question what you are portraying and producing. It requires you to go deeper into the reflection and deal with what it TRULY seen. If left unchecked or sitting in deception, it will crush you, your life and others around you.

Paul from the Bible and Robert Louis Stevenson (author of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde,) are two of my favourite people. They understood the dual nature of humanity – Paul describing it as spirit and flesh (the fight against good and doing what God wants, or bad and doing as ‘me, myself and I’ wants with no care or desire for God as your will is stronger) from a Christian point of view, and Robert describing it as “man is not truly one, but two,” from a novelists’ perspective.

I wanted to highlight this condition as anyone can easily fall into it. There is such a focus on the external when the true issue is our internal nature and character – our heart and mind. What we need to consider is what is really inside us.

It is hard to acknowledge all of ourselves at times, we would like to leave out the bad. But don’t be fooled by believing that you may be ‘all good’ when you may not be, or as Paul would deem as fleshy (acting in your own accord, understanding, will, desires, heart, mind, etc).

Sometimes we can be ignorant to the ugly reflection staring back at us, and sometimes we can be very aware of it. Once revealed to us, we are responsible for what we know and have the chance to change. When we are mature, there is more responsibility and accountability given to us. The problem becomes when we do not seek to change or transform our warped reflection.

“True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.” – Karl Popper.

The Bible speaks a lot about examining yourself (checking yourself). It is important to check yourself for Spiritual Dysmorphia. Praying, reading, observing, reviewing our thoughts, watching your actions and motives – the intents of the heart; etc.

“After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief—we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!” –2Corinthians 2:11 (The Message Version).

Do not think that you can never be untouched by Spiritual Dysmorphia. Ignorance or pride un-noticed is not bliss.

Choose to take a look today and ponder your reflection. The great thing is that there is always an opportunity to change the deformity. Just remember: Your inside is much more important than your outside.

 

 

 

A Split Being

Humanity is known for its talent of hiding. We have learned the art of contouring, blending life’s situations and circumstances with our identities. Rather than seeking out the true nature of ourselves from the battles in life we have or may face, we can sometimes become lost in the very apparel of the scars life leaves behind.

These scars take on all forms, shapes and sizes. They come from all walks of life. We attain them as children and carry them our entire adult lives. We can either walk with our scars as healed people showing where we have come from or colour in our wounds to match our exterior but as soon as they are touched they bleed crimson red. The second type of walking with the scar can also be translated as ‘unresolved issues’. Those things that we think we are over but really there is another ‘person’ inside us who is warring to break out. We let our mask master us rather than us reigning over our mask.

Unresolved issues are like any other problem in life. They eventually come to the surface. You can not hide from yourself because sooner or later you will catch your reflection and have to face yourself.

Some of you may or may not remember a TV series titled ‘Heroes‘.  A set of stories about ordinary everyday people who discover they have superhuman abilities. These abilities bring them altogether for an ultimate purpose. Each character had their own story to tell along the battle field of good vs evil. However the character I would like us to get acquainted with is Niki Sanders.

One part of a triplet with the ability of enhanced strength at birth, adopted by the Sanders family which went on to form a great bond with her sister Jessica. Unfortunately her adoptive father was abusive creating circumstances which led to the death of her sister Jessica and a repressed mind state in which Niki developed a split personality.

Jessica & Niki Sanders

Niki had a family, a whole new life from the one she had once known. Niki’s abusive past created an alter ego which named itself as her sister Jessica. After many years she was once again faced with her father which conjured many different thoughts and emotions of her past. Jessica came to surface and protected Niki. As the doorway had been opened Jessica became more aggressive and powerful. Jessica could not be controlled by anyone, not even Niki. Niki did everything she could to suppress Jessica, she even took tablets as Jessica would leave for a while but when Niki had to face herself again Jessica would always come back.

The matter at hand here was Niki’s ‘unresolved issues’. Her mind had not faced the demons of her past which allowed an access point for an alter ego. Rather than going through the healing process her mind repressed everything she had experienced. Niki became two people, she was a split being.

Unresolved issues are an internal matter. When someone hurts us, if we don’t forgive or anything else for that matter, it creates a hard heart and we begin to feel the affects internally. This could be from simply thinking about a situation or person as well as seeing them or being put in a situation which has caused a scar. Our journey in life allows us to go through many different things. Some things we can handle and get over whilst others may be a bit of a struggle. It is very important to be honest with yourself and face the part of you that you are hiding from.

Some people have experienced what only we would say is inhumane justice in this world. Their stories tell of only darkness with which there is no light. This makes things harder as the battle has been so intense. However as John and Stasi Eldredge have taught me that you are always becoming someone or something no matter whether you are doing something or not. That God is interested in who you are becoming because you are becoming something. By dealing with your under the surface problems you are looking to become the true you but my burying them you are becoming something you are not.

Niki knew that she was not Jessica but Niki needed help in order to get rid of Jessica. When we do not deal with unresolved issues within us that which is not of us becomes stronger. Just like when Venom could take over Spiderman (see my blog post titled Resisting Venom) because he was being unforgiving and Jessica took over Niki; unresolved issues make us someone we are not.

We all need help in order to get rid of the shadows of who we become due to life’s situations and circumstances. The whole point of life is for us to be our selves to the best of life’s ability. We all struggle with the common human error of hiding but at what cost do we become someone else? Are our personal unresolved issues really worth us becoming something we are not?

We are better to face the pain than let the pain become our face internally. Being yourself is more precious and important than masquerading in a mask far from your real complexion.