Spiritual Dysmorphia

My mind has been running its usual mental marathon, trying to think of a simple analogy to describe an internal spiritual  condition of humanity.

Between 4-5AM of Monday morning, the answer finally came to me… Body Dysmorphia. Random right? However, for the purposes of this blog post I will be using this to describe what I am talking about.

Body Dysmorphia (BDD) is “an anxiety disorder that causes a person to have a distorted view of how they look and to spend a lot of time worrying about their appearance.” – NHS definition.

It consists of distressing thoughts about the self (body image) that do not go away. They become negative and are very impactful on an individual’s daily life. A person suffering from it believes they are ugly or defective in some way, and believe other people perceive them the same way. It is very focussed on the ‘external,’ but from an internal perspective.

It is no respecter of persons; affecting both males and females of different ages. It affects many people all over the world and is often hidden by those who struggle with it. More info.

Even though this blog post is not about BDD, this was the answer I was given. I was thinking to myself “why would Body Dysmorphia be the answer I am looking for to describe an internal concept?” The image that followed that question was a woman standing in front of a mirror, and her reflection looking back was very warped.

What Do You See?

I want you to consider something from a spiritual perspective. When using the word ‘spiritual,’ in this context I am referring to something “relating to or affecting the human spirit or soul, as opposed to material or physical things.” – Google definition. I am referring to the internal, not the external.

BDD causes an ugly image to be reflected back, when in reality the true image is different. This is where I flip the script. If we reverse BDD to a spiritual point of view (focussing on the warped reflection looking back – seeing the inside and ignoring the outside), my question to you is: IS THE UGLY, DEFORMED, WARPED PERSON IN YOUR REFLECTION REALLY YOU? This is something I have coined as Spiritual Dysmorphia.

Rather than automatically saying “no” because the outside looks fine, and you may be functioning well – everything is going good for you; no problems or you don’t sense or see any, really have a long look at the warped reflection. Bless God if it’s not true, but the problem is WHEN IT IS TRUE.

Your reflection in this context is who you are as a person: what you do, what you don’t do, your attitude (way of thinking) towards yourself and others, your behaviour in terms of how you treat yourself and others, how you generally think about things, your words and thoughts; etc. Spiritual Dysmorphia is all about the internal; what physically cannot be seen but internally exists under the surface.

Another way to think of Spiritual Dysmorphia is through the Disney Character ‘Beast‘ from Beauty and the Beast.

The Beast

The Beast was externally beautiful but internally ugly: his nature and character were horrible, his heart and mind were ugly too. He was cursed by becoming as ugly externally as he was internally.

“Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.” – Mark 7:15 (New International Version).

“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.” – Proverbs 27:19 (New Living Translation).

What is inside of you will eventually leak out. Spiritual Dysmorphia asks you to look at the true state of your internal nature and character. It asks you to check the state and condition of your heart. What is really going on in your spirit and soul? It asks you to question what you are portraying and producing. It requires you to go deeper into the reflection and deal with what it TRULY seen. If left unchecked or sitting in deception, it will crush you, your life and others around you.

Paul from the Bible and Robert Louis Stevenson (author of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde,) are two of my favourite people. They understood the dual nature of humanity – Paul describing it as spirit and flesh (the fight against good and doing what God wants, or bad and doing as ‘me, myself and I’ wants with no care or desire for God as your will is stronger) from a Christian point of view, and Robert describing it as “man is not truly one, but two,” from a novelists’ perspective.

I wanted to highlight this condition as anyone can easily fall into it. There is such a focus on the external when the true issue is our internal nature and character – our heart and mind. What we need to consider is what is really inside us.

It is hard to acknowledge all of ourselves at times, we would like to leave out the bad. But don’t be fooled by believing that you may be ‘all good’ when you may not be, or as Paul would deem as fleshy (acting in your own accord, understanding, will, desires, heart, mind, etc).

Sometimes we can be ignorant to the ugly reflection staring back at us, and sometimes we can be very aware of it. Once revealed to us, we are responsible for what we know and have the chance to change. When we are mature, there is more responsibility and accountability given to us. The problem becomes when we do not seek to change or transform our warped reflection.

“True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.” – Karl Popper.

The Bible speaks a lot about examining yourself (checking yourself). It is important to check yourself for Spiritual Dysmorphia. Praying, reading, observing, reviewing our thoughts, watching your actions and motives – the intents of the heart; etc.

“After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief—we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!” –2Corinthians 2:11 (The Message Version).

Do not think that you can never be untouched by Spiritual Dysmorphia. Ignorance or pride un-noticed is not bliss.

Choose to take a look today and ponder your reflection. The great thing is that there is always an opportunity to change the deformity. Just remember: Your inside is much more important than your outside.

 

 

 

Let Your Wound Speak

This thought came to me a while back and I wanted to share it with you…

Can you really sew yourself up and expect it to be a good job?

I am not talking about DIY as a specialist work profession, I am talking about spiritual DIY. Trying to fix yourself and in a harmful way.

We all go through things that hurt us; whether it be something someone has said, something a person did or did not do, a disaster or whatever it may be; the problem we have is that we tend to DIY our own patchwork on our wounds. All of a sudden we become these professional surgeons; we see the severity of the wound and suddenly begin operating on ourselves immediately and think that we can do a good job. We forget that different types of wounds require different types of help… more severe wounds needing a stronger touch.

Why do we do this? Is it because it is easier? Do we not trust help if we need it? Are we ashamed? Are we too proud or have become blinded?. There are many reasons why we do what we do but the result becomes dangerous if it is a DIY job. We seem to live in a culture where this has become acceptable. We have put a silent ‘I’ in team. We always think we deal with things but really we do not, the evidence being in the manifestation of our behaviour and attitude. What is on the inside will become visible on the outside, it is just a matter of time.

Sometimes we have to face our wounds and sit with them. Notice I say sit and not stay. We are allowed to acknowledge what people, events and circumstances; what life has done to us and how we are to deal with it. Why is there always a need to acknowledge and DIY straight-away? Why are we not allowed to acknowledge the truth of what has happened; the pain, trauma, the basic collateral damage that has impacted and possibly even infected us?

It is important to acknowledge where you are at rather than patch it up. Deception allows you to be ignorant for a moment but if you have per say become enlightened and choose to act ignorant for whatever reasons, the effects of your DIY will eventually lead to destruction. Sometimes it is hard to face reality because it sucks but is it not better to see a wound for what it is than see it covered up because the cover up is not real and if left untreated could become infected and worse than its original state?

I am not saying you have to go around telling everyone everything that is going on or should just do what you want. We have to learn how to handle what we have been dealt. This is often the hard and tricky part; living it out. Sometimes we get it right and sometimes we get it wrong during this process but it is important to let your wound be opened, cleaned and healed rather than DIY’d; let your wound speak. We all need time to heal and heal differently.

I just want to leave you with this; Have you done a DIY work on yourself? You are known by what you become. Do you see a good fruit or a bad one? If so I suggest you un-wrap that wound, let it bleed and let it heal. Go through a correct process by get it treated before it becomes too late. It will seep out in the end. The heart, soul and mind is much more detrimental to what you become than a self certified DIY and “I got over myself” when really you haven’t. Look after yourself and do not let a bad DIY job be your portion. Choose to become someone different, someone better.

Walking With A Broken Heart

Image Courtesy of Sarah G

When we look back into the history of the human race we can see a lifetime full of chaos and wars that have left us wounded. Every human till this very day walks with some sort of wound (whether we want to say so or not). But the problem is not when we are wounded, the problem is what we do after we’ve been wounded.If a child falls over immediately a first instinct is to clean the wound, however how the wound is cleaned varies. Some may clean it with water, some may clean it with some form of antiseptic cream/wipe, and others may use salt, and so on. So how do we clean the wounds in our lives? Do we turn to men and women to fill these deep hurts? Do we turn to drugs or drinks thinking that they’ll help get rid of the deep hurts even if only for a moment? Do we get angry and take it out verbally/psychologically/physically on others as the hurt just overwhelms inside? What do you do?

Every time we get wounded, physically or spiritually, there’s an impact on our heart. When we get mad heart problems can arise, when we cheat on partners or get cheated on we suffer from broken hearts, when we have not got over the abuse (physical/sexual/mental, etc) from our past our hearts have been wounded and left us and our behaviours with effects. It goes on and on but the question is WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DEAL WITH MY WOUNDS? Or have I even dealt with my wounds or just pushed them under a mat?

It’s not easy to deal with a wound, whether it’s a scratch or a flesh wound. We maybe all human but we are still all different. We have our own individual ways of dealing with what we go through or have gone through in our lives. The problem only comes when we don’t deal with it.

My point is deal with your wounds before they deal with you, effects can be very damaging. Have wisdom in how you deal with the wounds, don’t just do what you want or feel. Just like what Professor Xavier says to Jean Grey in X-Men 3 that she should control her gifts before they control her.