Spiritual Dysmorphia

My mind has been running its usual mental marathon, trying to think of a simple analogy to describe an internal spiritual  condition of humanity.

Between 4-5AM of Monday morning, the answer finally came to me… Body Dysmorphia. Random right? However, for the purposes of this blog post I will be using this to describe what I am talking about.

Body Dysmorphia (BDD) is “an anxiety disorder that causes a person to have a distorted view of how they look and to spend a lot of time worrying about their appearance.” – NHS definition.

It consists of distressing thoughts about the self (body image) that do not go away. They become negative and are very impactful on an individual’s daily life. A person suffering from it believes they are ugly or defective in some way, and believe other people perceive them the same way. It is very focussed on the ‘external,’ but from an internal perspective.

It is no respecter of persons; affecting both males and females of different ages. It affects many people all over the world and is often hidden by those who struggle with it. More info.

Even though this blog post is not about BDD, this was the answer I was given. I was thinking to myself “why would Body Dysmorphia be the answer I am looking for to describe an internal concept?” The image that followed that question was a woman standing in front of a mirror, and her reflection looking back was very warped.

What Do You See?

I want you to consider something from a spiritual perspective. When using the word ‘spiritual,’ in this context I am referring to something “relating to or affecting the human spirit or soul, as opposed to material or physical things.” – Google definition. I am referring to the internal, not the external.

BDD causes an ugly image to be reflected back, when in reality the true image is different. This is where I flip the script. If we reverse BDD to a spiritual point of view (focussing on the warped reflection looking back – seeing the inside and ignoring the outside), my question to you is: IS THE UGLY, DEFORMED, WARPED PERSON IN YOUR REFLECTION REALLY YOU? This is something I have coined as Spiritual Dysmorphia.

Rather than automatically saying “no” because the outside looks fine, and you may be functioning well – everything is going good for you; no problems or you don’t sense or see any, really have a long look at the warped reflection. Bless God if it’s not true, but the problem is WHEN IT IS TRUE.

Your reflection in this context is who you are as a person: what you do, what you don’t do, your attitude (way of thinking) towards yourself and others, your behaviour in terms of how you treat yourself and others, how you generally think about things, your words and thoughts; etc. Spiritual Dysmorphia is all about the internal; what physically cannot be seen but internally exists under the surface.

Another way to think of Spiritual Dysmorphia is through the Disney Character ‘Beast‘ from Beauty and the Beast.

The Beast

The Beast was externally beautiful but internally ugly: his nature and character were horrible, his heart and mind were ugly too. He was cursed by becoming as ugly externally as he was internally.

“Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.” – Mark 7:15 (New International Version).

“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.” – Proverbs 27:19 (New Living Translation).

What is inside of you will eventually leak out. Spiritual Dysmorphia asks you to look at the true state of your internal nature and character. It asks you to check the state and condition of your heart. What is really going on in your spirit and soul? It asks you to question what you are portraying and producing. It requires you to go deeper into the reflection and deal with what it TRULY seen. If left unchecked or sitting in deception, it will crush you, your life and others around you.

Paul from the Bible and Robert Louis Stevenson (author of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde,) are two of my favourite people. They understood the dual nature of humanity – Paul describing it as spirit and flesh (the fight against good and doing what God wants, or bad and doing as ‘me, myself and I’ wants with no care or desire for God as your will is stronger) from a Christian point of view, and Robert describing it as “man is not truly one, but two,” from a novelists’ perspective.

I wanted to highlight this condition as anyone can easily fall into it. There is such a focus on the external when the true issue is our internal nature and character – our heart and mind. What we need to consider is what is really inside us.

It is hard to acknowledge all of ourselves at times, we would like to leave out the bad. But don’t be fooled by believing that you may be ‘all good’ when you may not be, or as Paul would deem as fleshy (acting in your own accord, understanding, will, desires, heart, mind, etc).

Sometimes we can be ignorant to the ugly reflection staring back at us, and sometimes we can be very aware of it. Once revealed to us, we are responsible for what we know and have the chance to change. When we are mature, there is more responsibility and accountability given to us. The problem becomes when we do not seek to change or transform our warped reflection.

“True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.” – Karl Popper.

The Bible speaks a lot about examining yourself (checking yourself). It is important to check yourself for Spiritual Dysmorphia. Praying, reading, observing, reviewing our thoughts, watching your actions and motives – the intents of the heart; etc.

“After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief—we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!” –2Corinthians 2:11 (The Message Version).

Do not think that you can never be untouched by Spiritual Dysmorphia. Ignorance or pride un-noticed is not bliss.

Choose to take a look today and ponder your reflection. The great thing is that there is always an opportunity to change the deformity. Just remember: Your inside is much more important than your outside.

 

 

 

Is My World Real?

The realm of reality and fantasy are very tainted in today’s world. What is real we cannot or do not want to accept and what is fictional feels so real that we sometimes become greatly entangled and lost in its false reality.

Recently at work I was able to assess the film ‘Shutter Island‘. I have watched this film several times and thoroughly enjoyed it but after assessing it at work it created a new line of mental thought processing for me.  I saw the film in a new light, the truth about DECEPTION.

Due to a traumatic past event, Teddy Daniels (played by actor Leonardo DiCaprio), created an alternative reality in which acted as a coping mechanism to help him suppress what had really happened. He had a new identity and story (life), both of which completely overshadowed what really was. Without giving too much away and to keep focus, this fantasy lasted for two years; his own personal lie became his reality.

If we pause for a minute and really digest those last two sentences we would really see how dangerous deception really is. It took several psychiatrists, doctors and nurses to break the deception Teddy had built for himself in his mind. Everything he once knew had become nothing but a caged memory. The fortress of deception mentally told Teddy that his lie was real because Teddy was unable to come to terms and deal with the truth. Can you imagine that, an event traumatises you so severely that you create a lie so real that you really believe it? I must admit that I find that really scary. The line between reality and fantasy completely disappearing is a scary thought.

Shutter Island is just a film but the story it portrays is very real. We can sometimes get so caught up in a lie, in make-believe that we lose sight of what is real. Living in a lie is so much easier than facing the truth. The longer we stay asleep in the lie the harder it becomes to wake up to the truth. However as the film progresses we see that those who helped Teddy were able to ‘wake him up’. Just a side thought here, Teddy was dreaming for two years, imagine how it would be if it were longer?

Neo from ‘The Matrix‘ woke up because the world he was living in was not real to him anymore; there was something more. However when faced with the truth even he had to make choice to stay awake (reality) or go back to sleep (the lie).

The Matrix- Blue pill or Red pill

In order to stay awake we must choose to accept the truth; not part of it but all of it. Once we have accepted the truth we must face it; the situations, person(s), emotions or circumstances in order to find healing and freedom. The most important part that most of us forget is that we must fill the hole in our hearts and minds where the lie once lived. There not only has to be truth accepted and renewed on a daily basis in our lives but there must also be hope; a hope of something new or better than that which previously was.

The journey and fight to stay in truth is a constant battle. The lie will always try to creep back in; especially when we are progressing or in the middle of the process of recovery. We must find genuine hope, strength, vision as well as want, face and accept truth on a daily basis during this process.

If we do not face and walk through what we need to on this recovery journey then we will be in danger of returning to the lie that once captivated and moulded us into that which is not real.

 

 

Sing For Me…

The Phantom of the opera is there, inside my mind…. sing, sing my angel of music…. arrr——- sing for me… arrr—— sing for me… arrr—— sing for me… arrr—— sing for me.

The above quote are lyrics taken from the spectacular musical performance of Andrew Lloyd Webber‘s ‘Phantom of the Opera‘ at the Royal Albert Hall for the shows 25th anniversary. What captivated me about these words were the separately sung lines “sing for me” by the five phantoms (John Owen Jones, Ramin Karimloo, Anthony Warlow, Colm Wilkinson and Peter Joback).

Each phantom in reality took it in terms to say the line to show the changing faces of the phantoms through the years but let’s put a whole new spin on this… let’s go all mental. In reality there is only one phantom but what this scene shows if we look at it mentally is that there are many voices. Without going too deep just think back to one event, one moment when you have decided to do something or even been in a situation where your mind has come to realms of exploding because there are many different voices speaking.

Arrr—– sing for me… arrr—— sing for me… arrr—— sing for me… arrr—— sing for me.

There is only ONE true voice, only ONE real voice; the others are not.

I recently read Elijah’s story in the Bible when he was threatened by Jezebel and he basically legged it (1Kings 17-19). For those who are or are not familiar with it, in chapter 19 Elijah goes to Mount Sinai and spends the night in a cave. God calls to him asking him what is he doing there and Elijah repeats the same statement summarising he is he only one (a true prophet of God) left and that people are out to kill him like they did the others. So later on in that same chapter there was a major windstorm followed by an earthquake and then a fire. After the fire there was a silent whispher. Does this sound familiar?

You make a decision, there’s soo much drama and thoughts that it is hard to find the right answer. You are planning something and your mind becomes really creative that you have so many thoughts you do not know which idea to use or start with. You read, listen to or watch something and you want to know more but because there are so many different sources and stories you have no idea which one is real or not. Then sometimes you just follow a bubble and believe what you want to believe and pursue it, however it does not always mean it is right.

Arrr—– sing for me… arrr—— sing for me… arrr—— sing for me… arrr—— sing for me.

Just like Christine (the female lead from Phantom of the Opera), you hear many voices that are not real. The “arrr—–” representing you are asking all the questions, finding out things, etc but the “sing for me” representing the many ‘other’ voices you hear allowing you not to be able to hear or think properly, confusion and no mental decision made strong.

A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. James 1:8 (King James version).

Even if you do not follow the Bible, this scripture still stands as truth. Let me out it like this, have you ever asked an indecisive person to make a decision? They can not make a decision as they do not stand strong on any one thing. Have you ever made a decision then heard something else and all of a sudden you become confused? You did not solidly stand on your decision otherwise you would not of become confused. See, the scripture still stands as when you are double minded, you can’t stand as there is no solid decision or action made.

This is what makes Elijah’s story great as he couldn’t stand because the same thing he believed was now tested. Where he once stood strong in being a prophet of the real God and speaking against those who were not had become the man who now is running. However after the winds, earthquakes and fire there was a ‘GENTLE WHISPHER‘. With everything else going on, there was still a moment of truth and peace. It is like when they say the eye of the storm is the calmest part. This is the sound we are looking for, the gentle whispher in sound after the storm- in the stress, in the depression, in the suicidal thoughts, in the lust, in the evil thinking… that gentle whispher which is the RIGHT voice. The voice of reasoning, conviction, right morale and TRUTH.

This is the crazy part, finding the gentle whispher/ eye IN the storm. With everything that is going on around us, all the murders, all the lies, all the depression, etc… we can only look to seek the truth and find those who have REAL truth. Whether you know God or not, seeking real truth will bring a peace to your storm.

³¹ Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed;

³² And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. John 8 (King James version).

The above scripture says Jesus is the truth and his word (the truth) will set you free. I know that many people do not believe in God or Jesus and come from many different belief systems and religions; however I plea you to find real truth in your lives and not to be caught tangled in the ‘other’ voices. Just because you hear a voice it does not mean it is right and you should follow it. This can lead to very damaging consequences in life.