Spiritual Dysmorphia

My mind has been running its usual mental marathon, trying to think of a simple analogy to describe an internal spiritual  condition of humanity.

Between 4-5AM of Monday morning, the answer finally came to me… Body Dysmorphia. Random right? However, for the purposes of this blog post I will be using this to describe what I am talking about.

Body Dysmorphia (BDD) is “an anxiety disorder that causes a person to have a distorted view of how they look and to spend a lot of time worrying about their appearance.” – NHS definition.

It consists of distressing thoughts about the self (body image) that do not go away. They become negative and are very impactful on an individual’s daily life. A person suffering from it believes they are ugly or defective in some way, and believe other people perceive them the same way. It is very focussed on the ‘external,’ but from an internal perspective.

It is no respecter of persons; affecting both males and females of different ages. It affects many people all over the world and is often hidden by those who struggle with it. More info.

Even though this blog post is not about BDD, this was the answer I was given. I was thinking to myself “why would Body Dysmorphia be the answer I am looking for to describe an internal concept?” The image that followed that question was a woman standing in front of a mirror, and her reflection looking back was very warped.

What Do You See?

I want you to consider something from a spiritual perspective. When using the word ‘spiritual,’ in this context I am referring to something “relating to or affecting the human spirit or soul, as opposed to material or physical things.” – Google definition. I am referring to the internal, not the external.

BDD causes an ugly image to be reflected back, when in reality the true image is different. This is where I flip the script. If we reverse BDD to a spiritual point of view (focussing on the warped reflection looking back – seeing the inside and ignoring the outside), my question to you is: IS THE UGLY, DEFORMED, WARPED PERSON IN YOUR REFLECTION REALLY YOU? This is something I have coined as Spiritual Dysmorphia.

Rather than automatically saying “no” because the outside looks fine, and you may be functioning well – everything is going good for you; no problems or you don’t sense or see any, really have a long look at the warped reflection. Bless God if it’s not true, but the problem is WHEN IT IS TRUE.

Your reflection in this context is who you are as a person: what you do, what you don’t do, your attitude (way of thinking) towards yourself and others, your behaviour in terms of how you treat yourself and others, how you generally think about things, your words and thoughts; etc. Spiritual Dysmorphia is all about the internal; what physically cannot be seen but internally exists under the surface.

Another way to think of Spiritual Dysmorphia is through the Disney Character ‘Beast‘ from Beauty and the Beast.

The Beast

The Beast was externally beautiful but internally ugly: his nature and character were horrible, his heart and mind were ugly too. He was cursed by becoming as ugly externally as he was internally.

“Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.” – Mark 7:15 (New International Version).

“As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.” – Proverbs 27:19 (New Living Translation).

What is inside of you will eventually leak out. Spiritual Dysmorphia asks you to look at the true state of your internal nature and character. It asks you to check the state and condition of your heart. What is really going on in your spirit and soul? It asks you to question what you are portraying and producing. It requires you to go deeper into the reflection and deal with what it TRULY seen. If left unchecked or sitting in deception, it will crush you, your life and others around you.

Paul from the Bible and Robert Louis Stevenson (author of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde,) are two of my favourite people. They understood the dual nature of humanity – Paul describing it as spirit and flesh (the fight against good and doing what God wants, or bad and doing as ‘me, myself and I’ wants with no care or desire for God as your will is stronger) from a Christian point of view, and Robert describing it as “man is not truly one, but two,” from a novelists’ perspective.

I wanted to highlight this condition as anyone can easily fall into it. There is such a focus on the external when the true issue is our internal nature and character – our heart and mind. What we need to consider is what is really inside us.

It is hard to acknowledge all of ourselves at times, we would like to leave out the bad. But don’t be fooled by believing that you may be ‘all good’ when you may not be, or as Paul would deem as fleshy (acting in your own accord, understanding, will, desires, heart, mind, etc).

Sometimes we can be ignorant to the ugly reflection staring back at us, and sometimes we can be very aware of it. Once revealed to us, we are responsible for what we know and have the chance to change. When we are mature, there is more responsibility and accountability given to us. The problem becomes when we do not seek to change or transform our warped reflection.

“True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.” – Karl Popper.

The Bible speaks a lot about examining yourself (checking yourself). It is important to check yourself for Spiritual Dysmorphia. Praying, reading, observing, reviewing our thoughts, watching your actions and motives – the intents of the heart; etc.

“After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief—we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!” –2Corinthians 2:11 (The Message Version).

Do not think that you can never be untouched by Spiritual Dysmorphia. Ignorance or pride un-noticed is not bliss.

Choose to take a look today and ponder your reflection. The great thing is that there is always an opportunity to change the deformity. Just remember: Your inside is much more important than your outside.

 

 

 

It Is ‘OK’ To Dream Again

Dreams are ‘a succession of images, thoughts or emotions passing through the mind during sleep’. I want to speak about the dreams that are connected to our desires which have either been able to make it to the surface or have been locked away due to circumstances and wounded emotions.

Dreams when made reality awake the soul of a man. You begin to become alive on the inside. This could be the start of your business, your dream job or career, starting your own family, getting married, believing that there is a special person for you to grow old with for the rest of your life, owning your own house or car; the list continues. We are meant to live out those things which bring us to life.

Dreams dependent upon the context of our desires are meant to be lived out. Not all our desires are good or beneficial to us. They can sometimes be a warped thought, negative emotion from experiences or poor judgments. We dream of many things and these different dreams are categorised. When we dream not all of what we see should be birthed, that’s why context, understanding and wisdom are always needed.

One of the biggest enemies of dreams are FAILURE. Failure  produces disappointment, which zaps our emotions and sends us into a mental spiral. Before you know it fear, depression, anxiety and stress start knocking on your door asking to be let in and if enough disappointment is in you, you will let them in.

Unsuccessful attempts or non-performance due to not even trying can turn our dreams into nightmares. That which once captivated our hearts and brought life now bring pain and death. The failure to accomplish a dream can leave a person deprived. We lose our joy and life begins to leak from within us.

Sometimes we can find strength to pick the dream up and start again. We start revving the engine and as we are about to pull off another hit befalls our dream. Just like a boxer in the ring when caught off guard, we are hit by an unforeseen blow. This blow strikes at our very core. After finding the faith and courage to try and accomplish what first did not work out, takes its toll more than it did the first time. Even after this more knocks can come to the same dream, desire.

After a certain amount of knock backs, just like the boxer in the ring, we get to the point of K.O. We struggle to uplift the dream. We become fearful of trying again. This time we may have no fight left. The battle to just pick up this dream again is too much for us, never mind actually giving life to it.

Failure is a very common human problem. It hits our mind through our circumstances and once it takes root it begins to pick away at our hearts.

Some people allow failure to strengthen them and they find the energy to keep pursuing their dreams. Whatever comes against them does not seem to phase them, it only makes them stronger. Unfortunately many of us do not and we give them up.

It is hard to break through to a failed mindset as the impact of the unmet desires can crush a person’s heart. When you believe and pursue something with all you have and it does not work out, it is a painful experience of which we do not always want to re-live. Dreams only seem make believe as any attempt to achieve them becomes thwarted. It is the same for if we do not even let our dreams take flight due to other people, situations or even our own unbelief.

An antidote for failure is HOPE.

When your dreams have been met with nothing but opposition then it can be hard to dream again. To believe and step out again can be very challenging. Today choose to re-question your thoughts of failure.

Close your eyes and dare to dream again. Dare to believe again. Find the strength to give your dream another go. Don’t let fantasy steal your reality if you know it is achievable.

Let the right relationships fuel you with encouragement and support. Let the Internet be your oyster and find all the help and advice you can. Refuse to give up on your dream.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12

 

What Use Are You With Lips Sewn Shut?

I just want to share a quick thought with you all. I recently re-watched an episode of Criminal Minds from series 8 called ‘The Silencer‘. This episode is about a prisoner who is serving a life sentence, he escapes from a medical vehicle after it was involved in an accident. En route of his escape he kills the guard who was accompanying him and sews his mouth shut once dead. This is the same MO of a past killer called the Silencer and the team have to investigate whether it is the same killer or not. What stirred interest in me about this particular episode was the fact that the Silencer sewn the mouths of his victims shut. There was no room for them to speak… everything was silent, shut up.

This killer whilst on life sentence NEVER spoke. Silence was key to him and as the programme unravels you understand why. However this got me further thinking about people in general and got me thinking about the title of this blog post; What use are you with lips sewn shut? This is a question not only for me to think about and answer personally; neither is it a question of which I have the right to judge others by but it is a question for all of us to answer personally to ourselves and then act upon accordingly.

Matthew 18:15-17 (NLT)

If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

Matthew 5:21-24 (NLT)

Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

Let me tell you 2 things that most of humanity hate;

1. Looking at and judging ourselves- our words, our behaviours and our decisions; whether they impact us or others.

2. Accountability- we do not always like being mature, responsible, owning up and accepting when we are wrong or if something is our fault.

The above scriptures if we simplify them generally state that if you have an issue with someone, go to them personally to sort if out and if that does not work then get WISE counsel from another to help sort it out. Simply, sort out your differences. It really is not hard but for some reason humans have managed to suck the life out of this easy process. We would rather sit with bitterness and hate in a pool of deception rather than take a seat in honesty and take on the grace of love and forgiveness. We keep it in and never settle things in our hearts, again I ask ‘What use are you with lips sewn shut’?

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 mentions there being a place and time for everything, this also applies to our mouths;

Proverbs 18:21 (The Voice version)

Words have power in matters of life and death and those who love them will savor their fruit.

When we speak we have the power to build and destroy, love and hate, forgive and not forgive… life and death. When we air issues out with one another we have to remember one important thing… emotions. Regardless of the issue at hand; hearts, minds and emotions have been damaged to some extent and we have to give way for these. We have to remember that we must let people be healed in these areas and not just expect everything to be how it used to be. It is better to say something in truth and love rather than out of duty and hate; causing death rather than life. We must not use anything as an excuse to keeps our lips sewn shut as this is no help unless silence is necessary.

Luke 6:45 (ENGLISH STANDARD)

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

Proverbs 4:23-24 (AMP)

Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life. Put away from you false and dishonest speech, and willful and contrary talk put far from you.

Our heart is central and the key to us as a person, without it we can not live. We forget that our physical behaviours and mouths express what is flowing from our heart. So when you think you are not showing the truth, you really are without knowing. Sooner or later when that wall breaks it will all flow out, what was really there being hidden. Sometimes we forget that people can see what we are hiding and this causes further damage.

James 5:16 (NLT)

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

Luke 6:42 (NIV)

How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

No man (universal context) has the right to keep another man prisoner. Situations and circumstances may tell us we can but really we can’t. It is better to judge a situation and speak the truth in love rather than say nothing. When people are in need it is better to help them than leave them. Do not hold back or refuse to unlock someone else’s freedom because of an issue caused by both parties, yourself or another. We forgive and have to learn to forget. Allow your love to heal another.

Do not forget to look at yourself and be accountable for your part in a problem rather than just pointing out what others have done. The ugliest person on the the planet is the man (universal context) that refuses to look deeply at his own reflection in the mirror.

Read: Unforgiving servant