A Sense of Belonging

Take a minute to watch the below clip.

This was one of KFC’s television adverts in 2015. It was broadcasted, simply illustrating a couple who adopt a child. The boy is shy at first but whilst having a family KFC meal, the father pulls out a chair, inviting the boy to the meal (keep this part in mind for me).

We then see a montage of the boy growing up, and when he is older and goes around to his parents for a KFC meal. He sees another adopted child and pulls out the chair, as his dad did for him.

KFC want to denote that KFC meals bring people together; families together. However my personal meaning signified something else.

What I love about this advert is its pure simplicity in reflecting the principle of ‘belonging.’

As humans, whether we admit it or not, we all want to belong to something. We all long to be part of some story where we can be part of an adventure or an unveiling (as discussed in Stasi and John Eldridge’s book Captivating).

For a person to belong, it means for them ‘to be in the relation of a member, adherent,inhabitant, etc.‘ They are invited and accepted into something that they now become part of. Just like the boy in the KFC, we grow when we KNOW that we are part of something.

Back in 2010, whilst at university one of the conclusions in my dissertation was that young people often join gangs because they are offered a ‘family.’ Take gang affiliation out of the equation, how different is the boy in the KFC advert to this? How different are we?

Feelings are just emotions, they are a part of us. Not always true to their origin or always leading us down the right path, but must be taken into consideration and dealt with.

We find ourselves in two positions:

1. Do we know, and not just feel, that we belong to someone or something?
2. Do we pull out the chair for others?

When people don’t fit a certain criteria or crouch to another persons ways, they are segregated from what they believe they are part of. Society calls them ‘misfits.’

We don’t have the right to exclude others regardless of external or internal states. We were all created with one design but different personalities.

The scary thing about this ‘sense of belonging’ is that if it is not found, it can forfeit a person, turning them into a shadow of who they really are.

Unless you KNOW you are part of something, you will squander your purpose.

Let me explain this by going back to the KFC advert. What would of happened if the dad never pulled out the chair for the boy? The answer is simple… everything we saw in the montage afterwards would never have taken place.

As the boy was adopted, those who he was staying with were not his biological parents. Knowing this, the boy did not know how to respond as he came from a different background.

When we become unsure about someone or something, even in the slightest, we internally and externally move.

By simply pulling out the chair, the boy was invited to their home. He was invited to be their son and part of the family. This caused the boy to catapult, later seeing him graduate and have a family of his own.

At some point in life, we must all belong to something. This sense of belonging pushes past being a mere emotion, but forms a strong belief on the inside of a person.

Sometimes we make good choices, sometimes we make bad choices, or sometimes life makes choices for us.

Hopefully we won’t become a people who stop or hinder others; even ourselves, from belonging to something.

We may not be the same or sometimes have a lot in common, but when people are part of the same clan with the same vision, there is no question that destiny will connect them and give them this sense of belonging.

Once they know who they are and where they belong, just like the boy in the KFC advert, they will grow and unveil into a mighty person. The person they were created to be.

A Present Problem

As a people we have both healthy and unhealthy obsessions with our past and our future.

Our past speaks of situations and circumstances that we have been through and may still keep or have kept us captive for a long time. They have hit our physical, emotional and spiritual states, being reason for why they are impacting. Our past forms of things which have or we have allowed to hit the very core of who we are, being reason to why we find it hard to let go of certain things and allow ourselves to become or stay chained to what has happened and what once was.

The future on the other hand can be similar but contrary. Rather than being chained to what happened, we are chained to what can be. Our future speaks of the unknown, a scary place for the human species. We obsess and have cautious anxieties and deep fears over who we will become, what we will do and how we will be and live. These fears and anxieties can often cause us to resist or relapse on what we can be in life and what we can do.

The only problem with this double sided coin of past and future is that it misses one key element, the present. We always speak about our past, how we should let things go and not become a slave to our past. Also the future in terms of striving to be your best so your future can be bright and successful. Of course, there is nothing wrong with this but we never seem to concern ourselves with our present, the ‘now.’

We believe that our past and future hold the key to our lives but I believe that it is your present that holds the key to your life. This thought has been running through my mind since the start of the new year. Our past and future can hinder us but our present can stop us.

What exactly do I mean by this? Let me put things into a different perspective. We live in the present, surviving our past regardless of what we have been through and where we have come from, and making way for walking into our future. However your present is the now you that is living. Your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual state are what cause you to stay locked in your past or dead to your future. A glimpse of our future gives us hope and the letting go of our past allows us to become free, but our present must ‘see’ and ‘walk’ this out in the now.

No matter what happened in your past or how prospering your future is, if your present self is not mentally, physically, spiritually or emotionally right, making the right decisions or walking in the right direction, it can and will abort who you really are and all you will become. What you submit yourself to you will become. This is why our present and now self must be in a constant state of renewal, healing and rebuilding, otherwise it will stop us from breaking away from our past and put glass in front of our future, only allowing us to see what could of been.

Let’s get our minds and hearts right from 2016 onwards. Let us find ourselves in these constant states of renewal, healing and rebuilding. Our present self must be free and making the right decisions that enable us to be free from our past and able to achieve and bring life to our future. Even as we have entered into this new year with new hopes, desires and goals to accomplish, let us also think about what our present state is allowing us to become.